Sandra's Blog
Hey! Thanks for coming to visit my page. I am Sandra, I am 21 years old and currently live right outside Chicago. This page is sort of a personal journal. I don't know if anyone will actually read this but I thought of it as a way to express my inner thoughts. If you have any comments you can email me at Charm643@aol.com
Entry 1 - 11/19/03 7:34pm Central Time
So... I just went to Chris's work at waited for him to get out. Feeling like a stalker, I sat there with my lights off waiting for just the right moment. Finally I saw him coming down the road so I turned on the lights and moved forward hoping to catch his attention before he sped off into the night and my chance and nerve was gone. It did take a lot of nerve, to do something like that. Thats something the old, pre-breakup Sandra would have done... but not the new version. I try to act more sane these days. Note that "try."
Thankfully, he didn't immediately dial 911 or start hyperventilating which was the reaction I expected being that he hasn't wanted anything to do with me in the past 3 months. I couldnt get anything from him. Maybe twice he returned my calls. Only because I purposelly (BY THE WAY, lets get this out in the open... I am the worst speller in America) made my voice sound very sweet and innocent and cute. Knowing this was a soft point, I did it on purpose. He did call, and my game playing skills (old Sandra of course) did not answer the phone. Stupid stupid stupid...
Back to where I was before I began my rambling... to make a long story short, we went to mcdonalds, he ate a salad, we had some small chitchat and then proceeded to my car. Dun dun dun dunnnn... I haven't seen the love of my life in 3 months so of course my first thought was to attack him sexually... but since I am the new improved Sandra I minded my manners and did not do so. I talked softly and sweetly with a trickle of a tear and continued on and on about my feelings and how I couldn't live without him. Now ladies, we know this is the first mistake we can make is to actually admit and let on to our true feelings. This is the cardinal sin of dating. Men like a chase as much as they hate to admit it... and won't admit it. They do. We act like we want nothing to do with them and then we are a goddess but the moment we admit our desire for them, forget it. Here I go rambling again... so I tell him my feelings and he basically says the same as usual, he believes me, he loves me, but he doesn't trust that things will go smoothly and we won't argue on a daily basis as we have in the past. This was the reason for our breakup. I didn't trust him because of my own selfish insecurities and it led to a disasterous breakup. Very painfull too might I add! Which is understandable and I don't blame him one bit. I will get into the details of the relationship and breakup and everything else later on... I wanted to jot down my ititial feelings now though.
Right now, I feel as if this man could do no wrong. I feel that I should marry him and that I will never find another person. At this point in time, I am going to continue to try to better myself, for the good of myself as well as him. Whatever it takes. Hit the gym, try to be more mentally stable and avoid other guys at all costs. Not that I want anyone else though... I want him, only him... and no one else. Of course I think other guys are hot or whatever, but its not the same. Just looking at him tonight and his lips, made me want to die! I wanted him Sooooo badly... we will see what happens though. He got a little taste of me, we had a nice conversation that ended calmly... and maybe when he looked into my eyes he realize he does still love me. Thats what I wanted, was to see each other and look into each others eyes and end things nicely so that he has a good taste left in his mouth of me and not all bad thoughts. I am not going to call him or contact him. The next step is to wait, and wait.. and wait god knows how long, could be days or years... to hear from him. Eventually, he will come around....... hopefully.
Goodnight! :)
Lasik Surgery
Hey! Thanks for coming to visit my page. I am Sandra, I am 21 years old and currently live right outside Chicago. This page is sort of a personal journal. I don't know if anyone will actually read this but I thought of it as a way to express my inner thoughts. If you have any comments you can email me at Charm643@aol.com
Entry 1 - 11/19/03 7:34pm Central Time
So... I just went to Chris's work at waited for him to get out. Feeling like a stalker, I sat there with my lights off waiting for just the right moment. Finally I saw him coming down the road so I turned on the lights and moved forward hoping to catch his attention before he sped off into the night and my chance and nerve was gone. It did take a lot of nerve, to do something like that. Thats something the old, pre-breakup Sandra would have done... but not the new version. I try to act more sane these days. Note that "try." Thankfully, he didn't immediately dial 911 or start hyperventilating which was the reaction I expected being that he hasn't wanted anything to do with me in the past 3 months. I couldnt get anything from him. Maybe twice he returned my calls. Only because I purposelly (BY THE WAY, lets get this out in the open... I am the worst speller in America) made my voice sound very sweet and innocent and cute. Knowing this was a soft point, I did it on purpose. He did call, and my game playing skills (old Sandra of course) did not answer the phone. Stupid stupid stupid... Back to where I was before I began my rambling... to make a long story short, we went to mcdonalds, he ate a salad, we had some small chitchat and then proceeded to my car. Dun dun dun dunnnn... I haven't seen the love of my life in 3 months so of course my first thought was to attack him sexually... but since I am the new improved Sandra I minded my manners and did not do so. I talked softly and sweetly with a trickle of a tear and continued on and on about my feelings and how I couldn't live without him. Now ladies, we know this is the first mistake we can make is to actually admit and let on to our true feelings. This is the cardinal sin of dating. Men like a chase as much as they hate to admit it... and won't admit it. They do. We act like we want nothing to do with them and then we are a goddess but the moment we admit our desire for them, forget it. Here I go rambling again... so I tell him my feelings and he basically says the same as usual, he believes me, he loves me, but he doesn't trust that things will go smoothly and we won't argue on a daily basis as we have in the past. This was the reason for our breakup. I didn't trust him because of my own selfish insecurities and it led to a disasterous breakup. Very painfull too might I add! Which is understandable and I don't blame him one bit. I will get into the details of the relationship and breakup and everything else later on... I wanted to jot down my ititial feelings now though. Right now, I feel as if this man could do no wrong. I feel that I should marry him and that I will never find another person. At this point in time, I am going to continue to try to better myself, for the good of myself as well as him. Whatever it takes. Hit the gym, try to be more mentally stable and avoid other guys at all costs. Not that I want anyone else though... I want him, only him... and no one else. Of course I think other guys are hot or whatever, but its not the same. Just looking at him tonight and his lips, made me want to die! I wanted him Sooooo badly... we will see what happens though. He got a little taste of me, we had a nice conversation that ended calmly... and maybe when he looked into my eyes he realize he does still love me. Thats what I wanted, was to see each other and look into each others eyes and end things nicely so that he has a good taste left in his mouth of me and not all bad thoughts. I am not going to call him or contact him. The next step is to wait, and wait.. and wait god knows how long, could be days or years... to hear from him. Eventually, he will come around....... hopefully. Goodnight! :)
Lasik Surgery