Wow, my own book!? AWESOME! ... so who would read some piece of crap book of mine? Oh I guess you would? Nah... anyway... well. My name is Howard K. Berown. I live on your street in New York City, Wyoming. I like eating beef especially pork. I ponder on the meaning of candy and why people eat it a bunch. Maybe cause t tastes good. And I have scizophrenia. I am such a loser. My favorite music band thingie is Shoes n' Chips... aka my chicken's band. I am now the ruler of your life! Face it or feel the wrath of... ... ... EVERYTHING! I feel so lonely... wait, I'm supposed to write down some kinda rules down aren't I? ... why won't anyone talk to me?! I talk to you. Gasp! Who's there?! ... who do you think. Grandma? Yes, its your grandmother so go clean your room. Oh, okay! Anything for you, Grandma! Ahem... please excuse my other personality. He's a literal idiot. I'm even ashamed of even calling him a part of me. Pfft, forget it. Anyway, I am the writer of the book because I said so. Anyone gotta problem with that!? ... ... thought so. Besides, what the hell would you be doing right now if you weren't reading this lame attempt of a book? Looking at porn? Watching the game? Eating chicken? So you better just start kissing my feet for giving you something to actually do... losers.