It's an age-old art form: impressing a woman. It's what men instinctively try to do to win over their companions. Yet contrary to popular belief, you don't have to go all out to show the lady you're worthy. But while women don't expect you to write their names in the sky, they do expect certain things, so making a good impression means having to walk a very fine line between just enough and overkill. Fortunately, I've separated the dos and don'ts to help you hit all the right notes.
Be A Gentleman:
From the moment you reach her home (that's right, you pick her up), your politeness sensor must be turned up to the max. Instead of gawking at her from the inside of your car, greet the lady at the front door.
Now, as you walk to the car, compliment her on what she's wearing and open the car door for her. You'd be surprised how easy it is to forget these little things, but it's what women pay attention to most.
I also urge you to pick up the tab, especially on the first date, because although it may not be as politically correct nowadays, it is still a polite gesture that says you are a gentleman just trying to show the lady a nice time.
How you behave later on is up to you, but at least you managed to make a promising first impression.
Show Off Your Mind:
As the most crucial part of the courting process, feel free to flaunt what you're about, since this is how she'll define your character and integrity.
Try to engage her in a stimulating conversation and show her that you've got a sense of humor, some interesting opinions on any given topic, and are both charismatic and selfless (it does help if you actually possess these qualities).
Meet The Parents:
Once you've proven how great you are to her, work that same magic on her parents. Think about it. Aren't we all, to some degree, seeking our parents' approval, especially when it involves bringing home that special person? Receiving her parents' backing will take loads off your back, so be prepared.
Getting a passing grade here is not like trying to cut through steel with a steak knife; this can be done. There are only two things to remember: impress the father with your intelligence and impress the mother with your charm. That means striking up an intellectual conversation with the old man, discussing everything from politics to gardening and proving that you've got a brain, and complimenting the mother's cooking.
Of course, I'm assuming you're dressed properly, have come equipped with a nice bottle of wine, and are actually making something of your life. Giving the dad a nice, firm handshake may all but seal the deal.
If you've succeeded up to this point, there's no need to carry on further. If your lady hasn't warmed up to you by now, she likely never will. So any other tricks you may have up your sleeve will likely be a waste of time and, more importantly, money.
Five Signs You're Overdoing It:
If you find yourself committing any of the following, you're laying it on a little thick. You're either so blind by love that you've lost all sense of reasoning, or you're just so desperate to keep her that you'll do anything to keep your sweetheart happy. Here are some classic examples of how you might be trying too hard:
1- Getting too romantic for your own good Nothing is more pathetic than a guy who thinks he's so slick when in fact he's just plain ridiculous. Sending your girlfriend flowers for Valentine's is one thing; giving her a dozen roses on Mother's Day for the "future mother-to-be" merits a backhand.
Likewise, if you're planning on wooing her with your poetic flair, forget it. Chances are, you're no Shakespeare, and comparing her skin to the color of the moon will likely leave you looking like a complete moron. Most girls don't like guys who dish out the cheesy goods because, aside from thinking they're pitifully lame, they know it's not coming from a sincere place. Instead, write whatever you feel, without dressing it up with fancy rhymes or words you can't even pronounce.
The same goes for songs. If you're no Sinatra, stick to singing in the shower and leave your guitar in the garage.
2- Bending over backwards for her Don't do anything that screams, "Walk all over me, please!" One way to actually do this is by becoming her personal chauffeur. Driving her to and from work -- and everywhere in between -- does not say, "I love you." It says, "My woman owns me."
The other common mistake is when guys twist themselves into a pretzel trying to accommodate their girlfriends' likes and interests. Don't sacrifice your own personal tastes just to make her happy. If you know she won't watch wrestling with you, there's no need for you to be taking her to the ballet.
The main reason to avoid these predicaments is that you immediately give off the impression that she is the dominant one in the relationship and that your sole purpose in life is to do her bidding. You're leaving yourself open to be taken advantage of, which may result in a girlfriend who loves you for all the wrong reasons.
3- Showing her the money Many guys seem to think that the way to a woman's heart is through dollar bills. But girls do not judge men based on the size of their wallet (and those who do are high maintenance and should be avoided anyway).
As tempting as it is to give her the royal treatment, take it easy because your cash flow will shrink eventually and she'll know you're not the big shot you claim to be. Of course, if you are financially capable of giving her the world, then knock yourself out. But for the rest of us, keep in mind that not every restaurant you go to has to have valet parking and marble floors. Let her appreciate you for what you can offer, not what she'd like you to offer.
4- Always asking for permission I know, you want to show her that you're an outstanding guy, so you ask if you can hang with your boys at some strip club instead of just telling her.
But why would you give this girl, especially one you just met, control over what you can and cannot do? You're not joined at the hip -- or even married -- so why aren't you free to do as you please (within reason, naturally)? Don't you want a girl who trusts you implicitly and gives you the freedom you deserve (and vice versa) without having to ask for it?
5- Taking the blame for everything Do you find yourself saying, "I'm sorry" a little more often lately? Are you taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong in the relationship? Are you doing this because you want your woman to be happy and stress-free? If the answer is "yes," you might as well be donning her skirts because she's the one wearing the pants.
Acting as though your girlfriend is a saint who can do no wrong is not chivalrous. It's pathetic, especially if you allow this pattern to spill over into marriage, where she'll have you in the doghouse every time something goes awry. If she's partly to blame, be sure to inform her immediately. If she's really "the one," she'll have no problem meeting you half-way.
The Bottom Line:
What all this boils down to is honesty, simplicity and sincerity. If you can master these three without any artificial help, you'll know she's in love with the real you, and the not the part of you that has her ensconced on some pedestal.
Remember, if you want to impress, stick to less.
