Clay and the Jaded Journalist: Friends Forever
Everyone's Favorite Couple
Clay and the Jaded Journalist: Pt.1
Interview 1: Clay? Not a Fan
JJ: Ok, now we're here with Clay Aiken, everybody. [delayed applause] Thank you. I gotta get a sign in here so people respond.
Clay: That didn't seem like very enthusiastic applause there. [loud applause] Much better.
JJ: So, Clay. At various times--
Clay: Various.
JJ: --you've been called somebody who looks like Alfred E Nuemann and Howdy Doody--
Clay: Who called me that?
JJ: --crashed into eachother--
Clay: Who called me that?
JJ: You've been called Conan O'Brien.
Clay: Who called me that?
JJ: And you've been called a Saturday morning cartoon character that stars in a cartoon called The Adventures of Clay and his Dog Clay.
Clay: Who called me that?....Oh wait, it was you!
JJ: Now do you think I'm able to get away with comments like that 'cause I'm so incredibly handsome?
Clay: I don't see how really. 'Cause your not really...I mean ummm...I don't see it.
JJ: You're looking at me, right?
Clay: [laughing] Yeah, I'm afraid I am.
JJ: You're looking at like my face and head?
Clay: I don't see it. I'm sorry.
JJ: Hmm....well, I guess that's ok. So what's Clay short for? Clayford? Claytefer?
Clay: Yeah, Claytina.
JJ: Claytina. That's nice.
Clay: Mmmhmm.
JJ: So, as the judge's said, your look is impriving every week. A lot of people say my look is getting worse by the second.
Clay: See, now we're getting....now we're on the right track.
JJ: [stacking chairs] What kind of advice do you have for me? What am I doing wrong?
Clay: Well, you need a bag.
JJ: A bag?
Clay: Over the head. It would probably help a little.
JJ: Geez, Clay. See, Clay, you've taken the childish fun out of the interview and just made it petty and angry.
Clay: I'm sorry....I'm sorry, was this supposed to be fun? 'Cause I'm having fun! I really am.
JJ: Oh. Well, as long as one of is.
Clay: Ok.
JJ: So...umm...this style change...who's helping you? You doing it all by yourself? And if you are, why didn't you just do it in the first place?
Clay: Well, no, I'm having help. I'm having help.
JJ: Who's helping you? Maybe they could help me?
Clay: Well, we need to get some...we need to get probably a whole team of people for you.
JJ: [upset] Clay....
Clay: I'm sorry. Am I hurting your feelings?
JJ: Yeah.
Clay: I'm sorry....no, really I'm not.
JJ: Clay...
Clay: Are you at a loss for words?!
JJ: I thought we were really...ya know, I thought we...when we sat down I thought, "Man, at the end of this me and Clay are gonna be buddies. We're gonna go fishing and...
Clay: 'Cause I'm from North Carolina you think I'm the Andy Griffith's show or something?
JJ:..And we'll skip rocks. You know, the worst part is, not only are you making fun of me, but you've got your cronies cracking up in the background.
[clapping]
Clay: [laughing and giving thumbs up to cronies]
JJ: It's like I'm on the wrong side of some raz battle of the 50s. We decided to settle our disagreement with words, not fists.
Clay: A raz battle? So you're old too, I dunno!
JJ: They don't have those in North Carolina?
Clay: No we don't.
JJ: I spent some time in North Carolina.
Clay: Did you?
JJ: Yeah.
Clay: What'd you do there?
JJ: I went to the Waffle House.
Clay: Did you? We have a lot of those.
JJ: Yeah. Do you wanna go?
Clay: No. Not really.
JJ: You know, my grandma lives in Myrtle Beach, so we've got that sortof a southern thing going on together, me and you.
Clay: Ok.
JJ: Yep.
Clay: Did they tar and feather you and kick you out of the state?
JJ: No...they actually put my picture on the state flag.
Clay: Did they really?
JJ: Yeah! I was as shocked as you were.
Clay: What's on the South Carolina state flag?
JJ: ME!...now. It used to be the Palmetto.
Clay: Oh ok.
JJ: See, 'cause this is the palmetto state--
Clay: Ok.
JJ: --now it's the Jaded State.
Clay: [laughing] oh, ok. If they think you're worthy of being on their flag they are jaded.
JJ: Coincidently there's been a population boom ever since they've done that
Clay: Has there really?
JJ: Yeah. So Clay, me and you hanging out, probably not looking so good.
Clay: Eh, we'll have to work on that. We'll have to see. Maybe next time.
Offstage Voice (Kim C?): He just really likes my mom.
JJ: Uh...
Clay: [shaking his head] That has nothing to do with it. That has nothing to do with it at all!!
JJ: So Clay, how ya doing?
Clay: I'm fine.
JJ: What are you gonna wear next week to look good?
Clay: Maybe I'll--...you have any advice for me?
JJ: No....
Clay: Some winged-tips on the shoes?
JJ: Here's what we should do--
Clay: What?
JJ: You should take the outfits when you're done with them, and then give them to me, and then I can start looking good too.
Clay: [laughing] ok! We'll work on that.
JJ: Alright everybody, the big red head, Clay Aiken. [clapping] Alright.
Interview 2: What's Up Buddy?
Interview 3: Jaded and Clay Discuss Their Summer Plans
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