The Pale Skin Lover

"Today is the best day of the year. The daytime is equal to nightime, 12 hours each. Only happens twice each year. I'm so happy yet so sad. I feel holy and wicked at the same time. This day is called: The VERNAL EQUINOX."

† March 21, 2004. Sunday 12:00am.

Another year has passed...

Today is that rare time that I can be with my love ones. I'm planning to eat all the lamb chops my heart can take, hehe... It's the time of the year my senses regain it's sharp edge. I can see more clearly with my eyes closed.. hehe...

My latest project is taking shape, I now have 2 songs. I hope I'll finish the whole shebang by April.

If things work out, I'm gonna have another site soon. I'll let you know, dear readers when it's done ;-) Enjoy the party guys!

"Beauty that loves beauty."

† April 8, 2004. Thursday 10:30pm.

Lenten season is here. Time to put on my crown of thorns ;-) seriously, I think occasions like these are not for me. I don't have to be reminded that someone made a sacrifice for our salvation. I won't forget that even though I am more of a DARK ANGEL than a light one (darklight angel my ass, hehe). I am human, I am in the dark. But I am struggling to balance the dark and light of reality.

I have lot's of free time at home recently. So allow me my dear readers to share my ode to BiFemme Love. My passion.

Beauty that loves beauty.
Perfect like the butterflies of paradise.
Absolute in their ways of love.
They know they are one and flawless.

I feel for them.
I touched them.
They make me understand the esscence of life.
To experience beauty here on earth. To love one another.

"Trudging along let my walking boots grow old."

† April 20, 2004. Monday 11:30pm.

What do you do when reality knocks on your door?
When you feel the grim death pinching your soul.
What would you do?

On a lighter side: Last week, I attended (gate crashed actually hahaha naka freebie ng lesson!) this bartending summer workshop at TGIFriday's Robinson's Ermita. Ghhhad! Look at those overpriced batter coated porkchops nd onion rings! hehe. Honestly, I'm not that in to TGIF. I find their food too expensive for my budget and I think the food isn't that great if you compare it with their prices. Did you know they can afford to give you a 20% discount.... if you have a "gold" card. hehe. Luckily for me their liquor and other drinks are priced the same as any bar here in Metro Manila. So after watching Larry the bartender do flair bottle exhibitions and mixed me a nice seabreeze. I said to myself.:"I want to be a bartender someday!" Hahaha sorry Ina! ;P Joke!! So I bought a nice bottle of vodka to accompany my dear bottles of red wine lying around in my room.

"Desperate knights of dreams."

† May 12, 2004. Wednesday 10:30pm.

To my dear readers. Sorry for the staggered updating of my journal. I've been busy for sometime. This weekend I'll be away for the Pahiyas Festival in Quezon. Wish me luck that I'll return here in Manila still in one piece cuz I might use the "Orange Warrior" for the trip. Hehe. Finally elections are over (but not the counting;p) and we filipinos will have a respite from all those zany ads of politicians. I wish those elected will turn out to be true heroes.

Speaking of heroes, may I present to you dear readers a true-to-life hero: My can of Gillete shaving cream... (to be continued when i get back to Manila probably this Sunday. Hehe, I have to sleep early tonight because of work, sorry.)

Hero of the day!

I don't know if you'll gonna believe me. But this small can of Gillete Foamy is already four years old! Yeah! FOUR! As in "4"!!! I've been shaving everyday except on days I would spend the night with sum girls and I have to use soap instead of shaving foam in their bathroom. Hehe... Until now this crazy can of foam still serves me well that I think I already saved P3,000. That's a rough estimate, hehe. I don't know why this can has turned into this eternal can of shaving foam. I really have no idea. I have not been scrimping on foam ha. I use it liberally every morning. I have to shave everyday. Unless I want to have a goatee. I don't like goatees and mustaches. Maybe this can is cursed or something??? Maybe after I finally used up all the foam in that small can a jin will appear and grant me 10 wishes??? Or a hot girl will appear and be my sex slave for eternity??? That sound sooooooo goooooood. Hehe ;-) Or maybe I will never really finish that can of shaving cream??? That is so eerie!

By the way. Also shown in the photo with magic can is from left: Space Ghost, The Confessor, and Blade. All of them 6-inch action figures. Maybe this can is a candidate for sainthood? Hehe.

"Knights and their lumbering love for dreams."

† May 19, 2004. Wednesday 1:30am.

Shiiit!!! What a dream! Last night I dreamt I met this girl I knew from way back. She's one of the hottest femmes I ever encountered. She's so addicting I'm still dreaming about her, hehe. So I went up to her while she was sitting there with a kid(I don't know who the kid was) at the foodcourt. Suddenly, a hot sexy caucasian girl joined us in our conversation!The caucasian girl was rather tall, sexy, and blonde. Without warning, blondie started to caress the breast of my hot friend. I started to better blondie's effort by licking one of the already exposed nipple of my hot friend. Mmmmm... WE were so hot that we just ignored the kid and everyone around us in that mall. Geee talk about firestarters. It was a vivid dream. I really thought it was for real (sayang), hehe.Before I woke up, we were having a threesome right there at the mall's foodcourt! Whoah!!! Oh well, back to reality... I had a great time in the province of Quezon. We ate habhab (noodles), watched food decorated houses, watched a lot of parades, eat fiesta food, night swimming, drinking, and swimming all day long before leaving the town. By the way, I did not used my car because I was too sleepy. It was a looooong drive ha. I just squeezed in and join the other car with my 2nd family, hehe...

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk." - from the movie "Dawn Of The Dead"

† June 28, 2004. Monday 11:30pm.

Ei there, it's been a while dear readers. I was so busy with life, I found it difficult to write something in this journal. I had only about 30 minutes to one hour of time with the pc every other day, just enought time to check my accounts. And I can't write from work because I only write with my pc (I don't have a laptop). So damn hard to write with pen and paper. I'm so used to typing, jotting down my thoughts is so excruciating. Writing is so slow for me. My hand can't keep up with my thoughts. Thanks for technology! I would have been too lazy to write if the qwerty keyboard had not been invented. Although i'm sure someone would come up with some kind of device for the sake of mankind's writing hand. I used to have blisters on my fingers when I was a student, hehe ;P

The past month was a blizzard of events. I'm almost ready for my new band :) We practice once a week. We're almost done with the songs good for one set in a typical gig. Our members are doing fine. Only problem is we still don't have a vocalist. We have some girls sessioning with us but nothing is final yet. I guess, we can play this October if things work out the way I anticipate. I really would like to have at least six original songs from our band when we start playing gigs. And about twelve if ever we record an album. Hehe, gotta cram that cd with crap, hehe Fun! Fun! Fun! ;) It's been almost six months after I decided to form a new band. Why? ...umm why not? :) We don't have a deadline or something, heheh. And I just convinced our guitarist only on the third month or so. This is a hobby not a bread-winning career ;p Hmmm... I miss playing gigs with Daneth, it's the name of my Korg-X5D:P

So when I'm not composing songs and practicing with the band. I now cook at home. Yeah, I'm a Cooking Monster now! Hehe ;) I'm sharpening my culinary skills because I might set-up some food biz someday. Nothing grand or fancy though. I'm classified as a micro entrepeneur, ehehe. I do this and that for a couple of thousand bucks ;p Of course I have some ambition to be a big boy someday but I want to take the first step with my eyes open. So I will be aware of reality, every aspiring entrepeneur must not be easily dazed by pipe dreams. Although I do think dreaming is essential to motivate ourselves to excell in our chosen field, but don't dream too far ahead, hehe. I'll take it one step at a time.

Other stuff I do? Of course, life wouldn't be complete without movies! I just watched "Dawn of the Dead" at Mega mall. Oh ghad! Thank you George Romero and whoever is responsible for this classic remake. Zombie RULES!!! Yeah I like Zombie movies! Hehe ;) I have this ambition of writing a novel or movie script for a zombie film. Haha, if only I can find fellow zombie lovers I could muster some kinda organization so we can make a really good zombie film here in the Philippines... gulp, I could see Marcos' wax zombie marching along the famous E.D.S.A. highway along with Ninoy's... and Cayetano chasing around metro some infamous congressmen and senators. Hehe.

"Burn these memories in hell."

† July 12, 2004. Monday 11:00pm.

How the hell can I raise P150,000.oo Yup. One Hundred Fifty Thousand Pesos. That's roughly 2,700 american dollars. Hmmmpff. I'm not gonna buy a second hand car nor will I get a small business franchise (although it's very tempting, hehe) nor will I buy a nice laptop, or buy some geek's toy collection, and I definitely won't buy myself a whore. Hehehe ;)Hmmm ...It's very tempting also.

I want to purchase a brand new... (fanfare please!) Tatatan!!! Keyboard Synthesizer!!! Woohoo! A spanking new Tritom Extreme from Korg to be exact. Just discovered this damn keyboard in the net last week and last night, I chanced upon a friend who happens to be working in Perfect Pitch (a music store with branches all over the metro) and he told me he was up for promotion in the store's corporate ladder. He's leaving the Mega Mall branch soon and will be transfering to a branch near to my work. So I told him about the new keyboard I want, and he told me the Triton Extreme just shipped in only a few weeks before. Wow! I said to myself. (AS IF I really have money to buy that DAMN keyboard!)

So he told me it was P170,000. I'm thinking that the price will drop in a few months coinciding with the store's seasonal sale. I hope I can buy that very DAMN keyboard next year. As I'm currently saving up for a small business myself this year so I can get married, hehe;-). Maybe a really nice keyboard will be my last big purchase before I finally devote a huge chunk of my resources for the future.

And this is no ordinary keyboard folks. Triton Extreme is classified as a "synthesizer/workstation". It means you can use and create lots of sounds and be able to compose/perform songs with that DAMN keyboard. I have 3 electronic keyboard. One is a "pure" synth (synthesizer for short) the Korg X5D whish I affectionately call Daneth :) and 2 Casio organs with auto rythm capability, built in speakers, hundred of programs(sounds) etc...

I really need a workstation. I know it will help me alot with my compositions. I used to compose with my pc for a while but software composing is difficult for me because our pc tends to have these trojan viruses or wachamacallit and I have to reformat my hard drives every five or so months. So I hate transfering those huge files in a cdr or another hardrive. I'm not really a techie so that method is highly unreliable. I don't always have money to pay for a technician :(

My dear readers, if your curious about the keyboard I've been raving. You can visit korg.com and just find Triton Extreme. If you are familiar with Korg products, the picture of "Triton Extreme" will blow you away... NOT that kind of blow ;-)hehe. I used to dream buying the Korg Karma. Yeah, the red one with those cute knobs. It's a "cheaper" keyboard, only P112,000 here. Not bad. It's also a workstation. But it's a freaking monster of a keyboard because you can create auto rythms with it. Very playable. When I tested it last year, it took me an hour before I realized that the store was ready to close shop and they were just waiting for me to get my ass of the stool, haha. I pick the Triton Extreme over the pretty Korg Karma because the Triton has this touch screen window for navigation(high tech!). And for that new technology which they use a vacuum processor(I think) to reproduce more warm, rich and deep sounds.

How can I afford it? Maybe I can sell my whole toy collection and my beat up car. I think that's worth something like P200,000.oo. But what will I use to transport my gear? And it is much cheaper to go around metro with your own car instead of hiring a taxi cab. Looks like saving money in the bank and setting up a new business(a small one is enough)is the way to go. Hmmmm... I love to dream about performing and composing songs with a Triton Workstation, or even a Triton LE. *sigh*

"Tears of sorrow gladly stain my eyes."

† July 22, 2004. Thurs 1:00am.

I feel a bit down this week because I can't find a femme vox for our months old band. I hope I will find the right girl for us with help of some friends and luck. If I can't find one by October, that's too bad. I did my best and I guess I have to tweak the band's format a little bit so we could finally perform and rock until the days of our twilight, hehe. And I failed miserably in one of my cooking projects. I was experimenting on making cajun burgers. I really don't have the time to experiment in the kitchen right now. My next project will be teriyaki beef strips or home made candies. Ho-hum. I watched a gig last saturday at Mayric's. "Late Isabelle" and "Names are for Tombstones" were there. Had a fun night. Late Ish sampled new arrangements of their songs. A kind of laid back arrangement. Perfect for rainy nights. Got to eat Mayric's yummy "tokwa't baboy"(deep fried pork with deep fried tofu served with soy-vinegar sauce). Hehe. But I hate their onion rings. Tombstones was his usual self. I won't get tired of hearing him play one of my fave songs from The Cure: "A Night Like This".

Dreams, dreams , dreams. What would I do without you? Sleep won't be the same without you, my Dream. Who will tell me stories about the summer girls and pale angels. Or the stories about the beast within or the heaven above me? And who will guide me to the darkest abyss of my subconscious to let me experience the most vivid visions I would love or dread to see? My life will never be the same if you leave me my precious Dream.

"I feel the road ahead is winding down to its end."

† August 01, 2004. Saturday 12:00pm.

Finally bought a brand new View Sonic 17-inch monitor. Now, I'm not colour blind anymore. I used to see digital pictures a lot darker what they should be. I used to edit all my fave pics by cranking up the brightness using certain picture editing softwares. So now, my fave pics all look bleached white, haha! ;-) At least they look pale now.

I may have just blew another large chunk of my savings by purchasing a new RISO copying machine for our business in Manila. I could have bought a top of the line cell phone or a really dandy digital camera. Or I could have easily organized a fucking wild orgy in a private place with that kind of money... joke ;p I really have to beef up our store's services. We're getting left behind by our competitors. My dad was first unconvinced with my plan because after all, I studied fine arts in college. I don't have any formal studies in business managment or something like that. But I have years of first hand managerial experience so I think I have what it takes to take care of the store all by myself. My dad's so focused in our current resources, i think he forgot the other option of expanding. We already have a profitable store, next logical step is to expand the business to rake in more moolah, hehe :-> So i'll be holding to my pesos bills a lot tighter from now on because I'm already scraping the bottom of the barrel(not the kentucky barrel, hehe) so to speak. So after one week, we just had one customer for the Riso machine. The first victim (I hope not the last) is the guy from Fiorgellato. They will be promoting their new store in sm south mall by handing out little phamplets. We got lucky cause the store they really go to for their copying needs closed shop a bit early that night. So he had no choice but to go to us, with our fumbling operators because it was the first time we operated such a machine, haha. We have to call service 10 times that night because we thought the machine was malfunctioning. It turned out, the machine was using up too much ink and the ink was causing the paper to get jammed inside.

Someday I hope I can afford to buy a Korg Triton. That will solve my problem of creating studies and samples of songs so my bandmates can study the song more easily. At present, I use my Korg X-5D to record and post it on a Soundclick site. I hope that will do the trick. We only meet once a week. I hope that site is enough to compensate for lost time whenever we have cancelled practices.

"I saw the stainless heart of the sun."

† August 25, 2004. Wednesday 5:00pm.

Woahhh!!! Been busy for quite a while. Was busy with work and band. It is raining again today. Flood is everywhere here in the metropolis. I don't have work today but tomorrow, I'll be a lot earlier to make up for lost work hours. I don't have anything to do at home the whole day! Yipppee! (as little Anakin Skywalker from Phantom Menace would have yelped for joy) Hehehe ;-)

So I decided to continue one of my projects. I'm currently writing a sort of guide for aspiring musicians or just plain curious about song writing in a band set-up. I feel I just have to share some of my knowledge to wheoever who cares to read my work. I'm not claiming to be a "mister know it all". Hahaha. I just compiled all my experiences from my musical stints suring my days with several bands.

I'll be including some exerpts from my unfinished and unedited project here for you my dear readers. For your entertainment. Because I know sometime the internet gets too boring after a while. Hehe ;-) So here is some of the samples i'm willing to share to you now. Enjoy!!!

Song Writing 101...

Song Writing in a Rock Band:

As I have experienced for years during my time with several bands, every band I had the pleasure and honor of joining have their unique ways in conceptualizing the band's original compositions. I have encountered three processes of composing style in a rock band. Thankfully, I never joined a band that is envolved in pirating or copying other artist's music. Copying music will never be considered as a song writing process. It is considered as pirating.

Although in some cases, some artists are accused of copying songs of other artists because their works have resemblance to earlier composition of other artists. Given the free and unbounded nature of music. Many songs will surely share some semblance to other songs. Some artists from Asia compose songs only to hear a similar song composed by other artists from Europe or Africa. It is quite similar to giving a name for a band. I'm sure many band members encountered this familiar situation when they think of a band name only to find in the internet another band from the other side of the globe had already thought of that name.

So let's move on. Here are the three procedure of song writing in a band:

1. The Solitary

2. The Collaboration

3. The Jam

On my next entry, I'll explain each one of them for your entertainment, hehe;-)

"Scarlet, the color of madness and desire."

† September 23, 2004. Thursday 11:00pm.

Hahaha, again, this is just my style, just to let you in how my mind works, just for fun, just for kicks:

1. The Solitary

- When one member of a band shows up one night at the rehearsal session clutching a piece of paper with all the chords, notes, lyrics, title of the song, everything written down. In some cases the composer already arranged the song for the band. In many cases, the whole band usually handles the arranging chores.

2. The Collaboration

- When two or more members(or non- members) of the band shows up one night at the rehearsal session clutching their own piece of paper. Again, the whole band usually do the arranging chores of the composition. Sometimes a band member is prone to add some personal touches to the composition by adding additional riffs or changing the lyrics' melody. Again, adding riffs or giving variation to an already finished song is considered part of the arranging process.

3. The Jam

- When the whole band shows up one cold and rainy night at the rehearsal session with no piece of paper in their clamy hands, hehe. This is where band member's patience get tested. The band will either agree to a common theme for a new song or just play with all their hearts out until they find a suitable riff for use as material for their new song. They collect these riffs until they have enough material. Then they just play the riffs over and over until they come up with the finished song. This process is more suitable for bands just starting out and don't yet have any good sense of musical direction. But I know some veteran bands who use this style of song creation. It doesn't mean you are not doing well musically if you use this technique. Well, different strokes for different folks. Make mine long and deep, hehe... joke.

Wow. As if i really know what I'm talking about noh... Hehe ;-)

Nice. Nice. Nice. Finally. Our band will have its first gig this Octo. More details next entry. More jokes and other "mister-know-it-all" stuff. More crap.

"Give to me your strength. Your tears."

† October 21, 2004. Thursday 2:00am.

Good news (for me)... and bad news (again for me, hehe).I finally found my audio software!!! My beloverd cubasis vst. I'm having a hard time recording my songs without that darn cd. Now I can do samples of my new compositions do that my band mates can hear the whole song even before we start rehearsals! That means saving precious time for us all. Yey.

Now the bad news. I don't have my korg x5d with me. Aaaaarrrrgghhhh!!! Last month, I left my keyboard at Yupangco for some much needed repairs. I'm having a hard time using that damn keyboard. The output jacks seem grounded and some keys don't work. The repair guy told me I have to wait for about a month because they have to order the needed parts(integraded circuits) that will come all the way from Japan. Geeeezz!!! As of this day I have yet to hear from those guyd. I'll call them tomorrow. I really need my korg. I'm using a Yamaha keyboard lent to me by our guitarist. And I'm really worried because we're supposed to have a gig this October 30. I don't want to use a lesser model Yamaha or Casio as my main keyboard during performance. To be fair, Yamaha has great top of the line models that can hold their own against Korg or Roland synths. There is really a very BIG difference with the quality of sounds you can churn out from the korg x5d compared to a Yamaha psr or casio ct models. It's like driving a Kia Pride(ct Casio or Yamaha psr) instead of a Bmw(Korg). That's a good analogy.

I do have a back-up keyboard. My old Casio Ct model. I used that snth when I was still in Solitude playing covers from Rush and Dream Theatre. Hehe. Pero PILIT. Hahaha. I hope they can return my keyboard back in time for one rehearsal before the gig. Grrrrr.

"Haunted girl, come to me."

† November 7, 2004. Sunday. 11:00pm.

Yikes!!! Finally got my hands on my good ol X5D last saturday. Grrrrr. All seemed well until I powered on my keyboard and got a nasty surprise that they (the techs) erased the voice programs that I created!!! They have to erased the memory in order to reset the keyboard. They could have told me before. I should have wrote down the parameters to my fave program. So tonight, I'll try my best to come up with another good piano voice program. It'd back to the drawing board for the paleskinlover. I have to relearn the technical hoobijuubis and mumbojumbos because I already forgot many technical terms that I will need to program my keyboard. Aaarggghhh!

One thing good that came up last saturday was tht I am now familiar with the Buendia, Makati route. I used to shun everything that's connected with Makati because I'm the type who easilly get lost. Those tall buildings all look alike to me. Hahaha. If I have to go to Makati city. I usally take the MRT trains. Or just wait for dark, past the rush and office hours so it would be easier to stop and ask for directions without worrying if I'm already blocking the traffic flow or something, hahaha. Last saturday, I used Orange Warrior because I was really tired and don't have the power and patience to lug around a 10-pound keyboard while I'm commuting and checking out really lovely girls here in the metro, hehe joke;-)

"Everything is sad and free."

† November 28, 2004. Sunday. 11:45pm.

November 21, 2004. Adele waited for me somewhere in Manila so I can finish my shift. It was already 5pm when we finally stepped out of the building where I work. I would have wanted to go home and finish composing all those freakin songs. My band's target this year is to include 10 songs in our play list... tall order? We have already 5 songs and counting. Sometimes I wish I had a job that doesn't need too much attention. I would have wrote more songs if it weren't for my body being physically stranded in Manila while my soul is drifting somewhere chasing after muses. If only I have an excellent memory and excellent musical talents I would not have needed a desktop pc and a synthesizer to write music. Grrr. Imagine me boarding the train at Edsa station on my way to the band rehearsal. Then getting off in cubao mrt texting my bandmates that I'm on my way there and we have another new composition! Hahaha That would be Xtreme ;-)

...Back to reality (hehe). Adele told me excitedly that we were going somewhere. She didn't told me where we'll go, she wanted to surprise me. Ehehe. She just told me to wear something "decent" and we'll have to eat supper a little early in one of the fast foods at Robinson Manila. So I put on my long sleeve black shirt (naks, parang pupuntang gig, haha) and neatly pressed slacks and my dark brown avante garde boots (I have no idea what avante garde is but i just love that word! Wehehehe). We ordered regular meals from chowking and popeyes.. yumyum! After a few minutes, we headed for the taxi terminal and picked a driver who knows the makati area very well. Inside the cab, Adele revealed to me her surprise: We were going to Manila Penninsula. Gulp. Hahaha. What the hell are we gonna do in that hotel??? Strut around and marvel at the famous sun sculpture hanging in the lobby?

The taxi driver turned out to be somewhat a dud because he can't find the way to the hotel's entrance so we have to walk two blocks. He told us he knew the way kasi. As we walked nearer the main entrance, my heart beat faster than usual because I was really not comfortable in that environment. At the entrance, a nice poster greeted us: "Chocolate Buffet up to Dec18." or something like that, ehehe. AHA!

The receptionist was comfortably polite, not the plastic kind.Good. She made us wait for some 20 minutes because we don't have reservations(Adele called the hotel and she was told there's no need to reserve a seat for the choco buffet... hmmm)For all I know it was actually a trap so we would order additional items on top of the choco buffet. Business, business. ;-) Had a hard time looking for the men's room, haha. It was just across the ladies'. Speaking of ladies... It was pale skin galore that night, what can I say? ;-)

The chocolate buffet wasn't cheap. P499. Pang Dad's na lang sana hahaha! But we really have to try something different, something new. I thought I would have an unpleasant experience that night. Imagine, sitting down and devouring chocolates for hours? Uggghh. But I was wrong. Food was top notch that night. Had a dark chocolate truffle for my first bite. It was sooo rich. Then the chocolate mousse in that very cute mug :-) The dessert menu was really well thought out. Di nakakasawa because every item in the menu has it's own kind of chocolate and other flavour and sauces. Next was the mint chocolate in a cocktail glass. I found it refreshing but too sweet. By that time my tongue was having a sensory overload from all those chocolates. It was a good thing there was a fondue thingy there. Really not sure what a fondue is. They skewered this pieces of tropical fruits such as melon ang pineapples. And you have to dip them in a gooey chocolate sauce. I ate the fruits as is. It provided my tongue relief for the sweetie overload. The Chocolate buffet comes with a complimentary drink. Coffee or tea. I'm not a coffee drinker. Tea was a good choice. They gave me a nice hot kettle of tea. Gulped down some more chocolate pieces. The best part was the chocolate crepes. I had three of them, i think. I never thought an all chocolate crepe would be that good. I can't stop thinking about the crepes. I'm planning to make my own crepes at home, hehe.

Finally, my taste buds just couldn't handle the sweets anymore. The sides of my tongue started to feel funny, hahahahaha. The glutton syndrome. At Dad's or Cabalen, I wave the white flag when I start to feel dizzy or when the back of my neck seem numb (Probably high blood hahaha). I feel stuffed as well. Like we just ate at Dad's. The experience was worth it. No regrets. Like being in a band that you cherished with all your heart. I would like to come back but I have other priorities. Maybe if I win this December in the sweepstakes or lotto, I might just come back, hehe.

This entry has a twin by the way. It has a little bit of everything so this entry deserves to be in the pale skin lover's journals... ok, ok, I just want to update the journals at the same time so I added band topics to this entry. Wehehehe ;-0

I was not surprised there were many people there for the chocolate buffet. It was advertised in the major newspapers. I saw writer Jessica Zafra if I'm not mistaken. I think so, I watched T.V. and read newspapers in the 90's long enough to remember her face. She was made to wait too, hehe. That's the only thing I didn't like that night. We have to pester the waitress for a table. Hehe ;-) That night at home, the chocoholic in me started to manifest itself again. After only a couple of hours, i started to crave for the chocolate truffles and the chocolate crepe, hehehe. So my mission for this December is to look for crepe recipes that I can try. I'm looking forward to a very chocolatey season this comming holidays. Yum!

Wait! I did not intenionally or unintentionally spelled "cacao" at the heading. The name Cacao is the name of the magic beans that is the essential ingredient of chocolate. It is more commonly known as "cocoa". When the spanish invaders conquered South America, they discovered the Aztec upperclass(or was it Mayan?) and priests drinking special elixirs and beverages made from cocoa. Of course, westerner's stiff tongues had a hard time pronouncing other people's language so they bastardized the spelling of cacao to suit their own purposes. Like we filipinos when we say "ba-bay" instead of "goodbye" Hehe :-)

"Why did your skin suddenly turn blue?"

† December 25, 2004. Thursday. 9:30am.

It's been quite a year for the paleskinlover. I was too busy to update this site. Forgive me my dear readers. Year 2004 will be one of my busiest year. A lot of shit hapenned. Hehe.

My main theme for this year is lost love and found love. I walked away from someone.My love is unconditional. No amount of cursed rejection can change someone with sincere love. Only I can cancel my undying love for someone. I learned to walk away this year. I don't know if I'll regret it. But I will surely treat it as a learning experience. I also gained someone. In the form of an old flaming heart that seared my wounds and let me kiss the perfumed grounds of paradise again. The blissfulness of being in love. Of being wanted by someone real.

Another thing that kept me occupied was my ambition. I work in this store in Manila. We do rush I.D. jobs and photocopy services. I also sell phone cards on the side. I really want to expand the business. I saved money to purchase a reconditioned riso machine. It's a small printing press. We can make flyers or forms that is cheaper to print than if you would use an ordinary photocopy machine. Next on my list is to purchase a pc for the store so I can play games while there is no customer. Hehe. Seriously, so we can do finally digital services. The owner of the store is too old to manage the biz. He is so out of the zone. It would take him months to finally be convinced that purchasing more modern equipment ang offering more services is the way to go. I didn't study business101 in college. I'm drawing on years of experience as part-time manager of that store. There are things in life that you can learn outside of the education system. But I must state that having a solid background in academics is always helpful. I'll have a hard time using formulas or equations in biz if it weren't for my math teacher. So kids, don't drop that notebook yet.

Now on to my other racket. Like managing a store or being involved in art, playing music doesn't really require going to a music conservatory. Don't believe me? In my case, I really don't gave to go to school for my passion. I'm talking about writing music.But I admit I would like to go to school to learn more to play the piano though, hehe but I think it is too late. My finger are too stiff. I like composing so much that when I left Five Wounds To Enter last year, It did not stop me from writing more songs. Before I left the band, there was supposed to be this surge of songs in early 2004. There were several songs in my organic hardrive (my mind) that I was getting worried that the band would not be able to play all of them, as they might not share my vision anymore and the fact that Francis - vocalist, migrated to America (It was a deep blow for the band to loose one member at that point, we could have recuperated but things were not meant to be).

But tough luck it turned out that I was destined to leave the band on October 2003 and kept silent for a while to nurse broken hearts and dreams. So after a couple of months, I was busy again in my mind whirring with all those notes, harmonies, chords, scales and voices (Yeah, I hear voices singing, this is what I write down. This is the lyrics. Most of my songs's lyrics came out of my soul this way. Of course my consciouss self also works hard and contributes in a big way, That part of my mind fills in the blanks and sometimes has to modify something in order to elaborate more the mood of the song or just update the song according to my current mood). Hehe, this is the inner workings of a perverted mind I must warn you dear readers. So after chasing muses, I called old friends and acquaintances to form a new band that was to be known several months later as ScarleTTearS.

The band was a saving grace for my music writing personality. How I would love to hear my songs again, so free and being performed by equally passionate musicians again. I thought about asking people I know who play in a band if they would like me to give them my music. But after some contemplation, I decided it was best that I form a band. And I never regretted it. Not a bit. I found wonderful band members with the help of friends and a little bit of help from fate. After several months of practice, here we are :-) We had our first gig on October30 2004. That was almost exactly a year (give or take 5 to 6 days) after I left Five Wounds. What timing, hehe. We are planning to record in 2005. Maybe 10 songs or depending on our financial resources, it might be just 5 to 7 songs. I hope dear readers that you wish us luck. I would surely let you know if something happens in our plan to record an album. Before I go, I must repeat my sincerest apology for not updating this site. Cya.

"Scented candles burning my token defense."

† May 13, 2005. Friday. 12:30pm.

Hi-ya! This year's gonna be a blast. We finally got our acts together. We are currently recording five songs at this rather new recording studio. I understand the owner-Eric Perlas just opened it last year. The studio is called "Tower of Doom". Woah, that sound so ominous. I hope our record will get made without any major hitches. I feel this is the studio for us. I've been to two other recording studios and it didn't turn out quite what I expected. I noticed how Eric, who also works as the sound engineer knows what to do. And anticipates well his clients' moves. Like being tactful enough in bringing up technical matters regarding the songs. He knows what's best for the band. Although we had a disagreement one night when he and Marvin(our guitarist) thought I was loosing my head because I insisted on making some corrections. Some sections of the song Cold Blooded Lover were erroneously recorded in the major scale when it should be in minor. It took some time before I convinced them that I knew what I was doing. Hehe.

The songs are looking good (to me, haha) I really hope we can pull a fast one and release an album in the middle of this year. We hope we can give music lovers an opportunity to augment their cd collection(if they dig us) and to sow the seeds of sorrow.

"I'm alone walking this spiral highway."

† July 01, 2005. Friday. 02:00am.

I have this feeling that the road ahead is long… oh no!
The dust that settled on my weary boots is gone… long gone.
Hmmm I'm starting to believe that I wrote this song for myself.

"Don't look straight in to my troubled eyes."

† August 23, 2005. Tuesday. 02:30am.

At last Scarlet Tears' cd is nearly finished! We'll do our photoshoot and final design for our cover this August. We'll release it on September. Very excited because this is my first band that will actually release a cd!

"Stunningly beautiful eyes."

† November 18, 2005. Friday. 10:00am.

What was I thinking! About our ep release, we actually had lots of work to do. haha. BUT now we are umm almost sure that first week of December will be our release date. Finally haha. We already recorded the songs 5 or so months after our first performance. And it took us about 6 months to go to the production process of the actual cd. Yikes. Hard work indeed. To those who doesn't know, we are producing our record all by ourselves. It's financially draining. All of us had to sacrifice much for our cd. I have to forego much needed engine repairs to my legendary Orange Warrior. Because I really can't afford it right now. My money will go to the production of the cd. My car has this engine trouble. I think I have to replace the engine or just overhaul it. So i'm lugging a keyboard everytime we have a gig or practice. I feel like i'm lugging aroung a bazooka haha.

"The moonless night seem reassuring..."

† Novenber 19, 2005. Saturday. 05:30pm.

My palms are cold and sweaty. And the cold is touching my soul again. I've been listening to "Love Will Tear Us Apart" (by Joy Division) today and been feeling the weight of that song.
When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow And we're changing our ways, taking different roads Then love, love will tear us apart again -- You cry out in your sleep - all my failings expose There's a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold Just that something so good just can't function no more When love, love will tear us apart again --

"Last night to touch you..."

† May 22, 2006. Monday. 11:30pm.

WOAH! It's been a while since I last made an entry here! I've been busy. Lots of things happened in my life since my last entry here last November of 2005. A lot of things that happened I might say the BEST thing that has happened to me. All the years of planning and visualizing. Then suddenly all are falling into place :-) Too bad, I'm alone. No one really to share my achievements on a personal and intimate level. Thank God I have friends and bandmates worth keeping company in good times and worse times.

The bad times: Kinda like a trial of sorts. The band suffered uncertainty over what to do during our release date. We were very low on funds. I have to spend my own money for the delivery of our cds from the factory to Caliente bar wher we had our release night with the help of Jarek of Melusine Media. I also had romantic problems. Kinda like an irony, here I am making songs that are essentially love songs, so called expert in love... those songs serenading, romancing, seducing... and I can't even take control of my relationship. *sigh*

The good times: Oh yeah! All along, the years I spent playin with bands... one of my goals is to release an album. And WE did it! ScarleTTearS! This band gave me the opportunity... and I took that opportunity with the fierceness of a wild dog hehe and made things possible with the help of my bandmates: Marvin, Aldwin, Ruel and Katrina. We pressed destiny to give us the access to this spiral highway that would lead us to more exciting endeavors :-) We worked hard for more than a year. And also pressed harder after the release of our album: "Beneath a Crescent Moon". We broke even by the 4th month (April) and now(the moolah generated bt our first cd will be used for our 2nd cd due later this year), we are currently trying to remit all cds taken out of our stockroom (tnx Rocky for the stock room! Because I don't have a car anyomre hehe, 400 plus units of cds is too much for me to commute with). And the remaining stock, we will distribute it to a major retail store here in Metro Manila. I hope all goes well.

So there, one of my dreams finally came true. To be a composer, to release an album featuring songs I made, and to play in a rock band :-) I can die now? NOPE There's still a lot of work to do :-) ......

"Can I touch your face?"

† July 25, 2006. Tuesday. 1:30pm.

One song at a time...

Things are going as planned, the band has some airtime in Manila's premiere rock radio station, break-even sales in 6 months, got some reviews of our first album, performed at leat in one major event (Fete de la Musique 2006 last June30), and the band is still intact and stronger than before (because of our dear sessionists, thanks Ayn, Jeff, Jiggs and Meryl!) and we are ready to flesh out 8 to 10 songs for our second cd due this December or early 2007.

Now here's the downer part. Sales are stagnant just after the sales broke even, I think it's because of our limited distribution, lots of guys asking about our cd but they really never get to purchase one, probably because they have no time searching for our cd outlets (but several people did managed to hunt those cds and told me about it through email and text), we really need Tower Records to approve our cd for distribution in their outlets, it's pending for almost three months now :-(. I have a feeling sales will greatly improve once our cds reach the shelves. And about the second album, we only have two playable songs, hahaha, we must finish two songs per month so we can reach our self imposed December deadline. Sounds impossible because we are going to have frequent breaks in our band sched due to our jobs and personal lives in the coming months. Well, let's see... let's see...

• Main
• The Pale Lover ...FRESH WOUNDS!!!(April 25, 2005)
• Music and Others ...FRESH WOUNDS!!! (MAy 21, 2005): New mp3!
• Images...Scars October 7, 2003!
• The Archive Year 2003

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Hyperdulia's blog!

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