Strip Bars- Oct.25,2007

ok in the beginning of our relationship before we got married..i didnt want him to go....just cus i couldnt stand the fact of him watching another girl get naked and him getting turned on by her...it's just not a pretty feeling...

anywho..we've been married for 3 years now....so i thought what the hell i wanna see what all the hype was about... so when we bought our car they gave us a free two night stay at this awesome hotel with a waterpark and everything...

so the plan was since we're staying at a hotel out in town..we wanted to get drunk off our asses just so noone needed to drive and we can just walk our drunk asses back to the hotel... we stayed at this one bar for about 4 hours...then decided to walk down to the strip bar.........

it was fun at first...we were taking turns getting lap dances from different strippers... then it happend.... he got carried away...and i guess started acting as if i was just one of the guys....

he started telling me crap like "oooh i like her" "she has soft skin" "oh she smells good" "oh when she was dancing on me i got turned on and got a boner"....EEEEWWW then.......ok when the stripppers came up to us..they had to practically take our hands and put it on their body...like telling us what to do.... but when his "favorite girl" went on top of him..she didnt need to tell him..his hands were all over her body..and you should have seen his face! like they were together or something!!

that made feel weird...as if he was cheating on me...right infront of me!!! it was like all the bad dreams that i had that i mentioned in a previous entry.....it was coming to a reality!! although he wasnt but it felt like it....so when he asked me if he could get another lap dance from his "favorite dancer" i said NO and that i felt like i wanted to go back to the hotel i didnt talk about to him til the next day when were hanging out at the water park...... i just pretty much told him how i felt..... that i dont mind going to another strip bar.....just dont treat me like im one of the guys.....and maybe not sit right in the front anymore and just lay in the back and watch others..that would make me feel much better.... and most of all dont let your hands roam around on its own...that was just..wow..that kinda hurt my feelings!!!

so i know it shouldnt have but that moment....seeing his face and his hands roam around her body...is stuck in my mind..it keeps replaying over and over again..and i start feeling depressed...like i dont turn him on anymore..im not sexy enough to make his face look like that......my skin isnt as soft as theirs..i dont smell so good anymore....

im so obssessed with what happened this past weekend...i went out to the store and bought a new victoria secrets lotion and after i took a shower, i put it all over my body....but even though he said "oooh you smell good" it still didnt make me feel better.....i just feel so UGLY....and i keep thinking about it..i cant get it out of my mind....

im going insane here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is everybody?- June.07,2007

Wow nobody comes on here anymore...well if they do, they dont even leave a message, leave a blog, NOTHING...its getting pretty boring..haha...well dont be shy..if u have something to say..good, bad..whatever it is...leave it so i have something to do!! and we all have something new to read! hahah