Surprise haven
today i went cycling cos i was a bit bored ( i hear many going: "BORED?????!!!) yeah i know everyone is up to their necks with work. i also have unfinished stuff to do, but due to some hiccups i can t do them now aniwei so decided to haf a workout.
usually when i exercise, i can only convince myself that cycling or swimming are THE EXERCISES for me. no jogging i hate it. today i learnt one wisdom of life thru my cycling trip, that is to venture further b4 even if you think there is nth ahead. today i went slightly further past the canal behind the terrace houses and there was a whole new world out there! so nice and peaceful and so many joggers. who wld have thought of it :) there seems to be a little tortoise that resides near the canal, i ve seen it twice i was there. its antics are real funny, getting washed by the current one moment and pulling itself up the shore the next. and it kept doing this haha. and when i was standing on the wooden bridge, the breeze was lovely and everything felt so peaceful. hmmm...just that everyone else was either in pairs or one whole family, and i was by myself *shrugs* being alone is fun sometimes, but i wished i cld share that beautiful scenery with other pple :) hmmm so i acutally tokked to some strangers i met ;p

so this is what it is all about, the meaning of life, is that we try to discover ourselves through other people. It is like a journey where we are trying to find something or someone, it is perpetuated by desire, by the need to attain endless goals.
not long ago, i was invited by a friend to join this friendster network , which shows just how everyone you know is in one way or another linked together. I guess that's the way humanity is; few people if any, go outside the circle that they are born in.

in friendster, among one of the people i know of but yet i do not know, this caught my eye:

"XZ needs his space, as most Aquarians do; but fundamentally he is generous, kind and keenly perceptive. For as long as I've known him he's been the same chap (in a good way), true to himself. He seems to have problems expressing his thoughts at times but I am guessing this stems from the high levels of abstraction at which his mind functions.

I dun understand wat XZ is saying lor... but here a guy who's great at the guitar although he has this nasty habit of changing song halfway. He also has this reflex thing when people touch him...so beware!"

my first reaction when i read that reflex thing is: gosh what a weird guy!
then it occured to me that the whole talk about personal space sounds very familiar, in fact it sounds like what i'd think of myself. though i dun elbow my friends when they sit too close, it's much more evident with my loved ones. i d always sit in one corner, request that other people sit far far away in such a way that we ll not be touching each other. yeah i dunno why i hate prolonged physical contact, maybe cos i m just a spoilt brat used to having too much space. i sure dunno why this guy has the same phobia, but i dun haf a reason for my own behavior, psychological problem i guess, but who's to determine that it is abnormal? good to know that i m not the only weirdo ard.
yeah the abstract thoughts bi is also intriguing. i have a difficulty making my thoughts understood at times, sometimes my weird thoughts just puts pple off or they just shrug and think i m talking in m native tongue (which is b216ish translated in earthian language as "gibberish')
yeah in short, i see a bit of myself in this person.

White Roses
Had been so busy in the past few weeks that i haven really been looking at my fish and white rose plant. was surprised to see four more rosebuds besides one rose which has already bloomed. i really like this white rose plant that i got fr ikea, somehow it has darker leaves than the ones i see in nurseries, and i seldom see white roses. think white roses are exceptionally pretty

Sunshine!
The weather is really good today, i guess it sounds exaggerated but i can literally smell the warmth of sunshine in the air :) the sky is quite nice too...
i guess my grand dad has given me the right name cai3 xia2 unlike what some of you think, does not mean some exotic species of prawn (i d like to stress to pple out there prawn is pronounced xia1, and not xia2, the latter pronounciation surely being influenced by hokkien) yeah, my name translated literally means those beautiful clouds that streak across an azure sky. nice right? that shld make you look at my name in a new light. okie it sounds beautiful but it doesn't haf a very good history, or shld i say in literature. okie when i was in jc, my classmates had a good laf after hearing that Caixia was but the name of a lowly servant (bondmaid, serf, whatchamacallit) in the famous classic Dream of the Red Mansion (Hong Lou Meng) but hey! at least my name appeared in a famous classic okie. i'd like to know who else has this privilege haha.
okie enuff abt my name, i was just going to say its very apt for someone who loves a brilliant sky, and who is dreamy :) but goodness i digressed so far...........................;P

It's all in the mind?
today in the chinese lyrics class, we analyzed this last song called ye4 zi3. and sure the song looks simple enuff but the theme is actually very philosophical: existentialism (according to my understanding of what existentialism is) so we should end up wondering that the chair we are sitting on actually exists or it is psychosomatic (oh i lurvve these BIG words ha)
so is it all in the mind then? i feel that to a large extent, it is. everything exists in the mind, including love. love is just a thought, if the thought doesn't exist then love doesn't exist. its like something in front of you that you see, if u remove it, then u no longer see it. i think one has the power to pysche oneself to believe in anything, if u tried hard enuff. so what exists and what doesn't is actually a matter of our own choices. hmmm...this is getting confusing
aniwei here s the song:

~{R6WS~}
~{SpH*~}
~{!!~}

~{SPR;8vJ'Cw5DE.:"=PR6WS~} ~{JGNR5D:CEsSQ~}

~{NRV*5@TZK}PD@oCf~} ~{D\?45C<{R;GP~}


~{TZK}M8Cw5DPD6y@oCf~} ~{SPR;8v=GBd~}

~{DG@oM#7EWE~} ~{IFA<5D9JJB:M6/HK5D4+K5~}

~{UbJ@=gC;SPF[F-R2C;SPUy6a~}

~{C@@v5DE.:"=PR6WS~}

~{K}>-3#UbC4K5~}

~{TZK}M8CwSP5DQ[>&@oCf~} ~{SPR;F,:~24~}

~{DG@o3A=~WE~} ~{O2TC5DIK8P:MSGSt5D;6@V~}

~{K|5DK.CfIOC;SPA0dtR2C;SPQUI+~}

~{3$3$5D=^C+IAK8WEN^>!5D2B2b~}


(~{R6WSNJ~})

~{0.GiJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{SGStJG@6I+5D~}

~{?l@VJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{
~{Ll?UJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{MtQsJG@6I+5D~}

~{NRK5Ll?UR2JG@6I+5D~} ~{RrN*K{CG1K4KO`0.AK~}


~{0.GiJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{
~{?JM{JGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{J12V95D~}

~{S@:cJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{:tN|JG6LT]5D~}

~{NROkNRV;:C3AD,~} ~{RrN*UbNJLb5XGrK|R2TZK

~{M8CwJGJ2C4QUI+5D~} ~{Hg9{7g6yJG?l@V5D~}

~{R6WS5DQ[>&JGM8Cw5D~}

~{PDJG~} ~{PDJG~} ~{?l@V5D~} ~{PDJG~} ~{?l@V5D~}

Posted by blog/moonriver at 8:18 PM JST
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I?Ey
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?YE>O??AEA ??I?A?ao O>E| O>E| O>E|
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EA?y??C? A??AO>C? A??A?| A??AIC
IO>??C??(?iA?) OU??O>?o?cCaEE???AO?Ai
EI?>?! I?EyO>?e
This song i believe was from the soundtrack of ?C?|?Cz, a movie i wanted to watch but i din watch. i rem that i also gave a copy of the soundtrack to willy for his farewell gift. shld be nice, i really like this song.

Two neighbours
everynight while my black ghost is happily swimming ard, my luohan ll just swim to the side of the tank to stare at blackie. well, though the luohan craze seems to have pretty much died out by now ( and my dad wld have found some excuse to get rid of it) if not for my persistence, lh ll have been gone. but i dun think it's right to give up a pet like that,afterall u r responsible for its life once you've tamed it. i like my luohan, despite it not being the prettiest of fish, i swear that it has got a character of its own. it isn't a dumb fish, sometimes u feel that its got good and bad moods and it acts accordingly. okie but it looks like its pouting all the time, but i m quite attached to it all the same. my parents think i m silly but i ll cry if something happens to it. and my blackie of course. as for the other smaller fish, oh well, i dun feel so attached to them ha.

Love at First Sight

by Wislawa Szymborska - 1993

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways -
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember -
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

Photo printing
today, i had quite a bit of fun printing b/w photos in the darkroom. ha, when the image came out after the paper was immersed in the developer, boy did i feel like a professional haha. feel like the whatzhisname in Blow Up ;p
sigh... i can t wait to do it again, but i 'll hafta wait til next wed b4 i can collect my negatives and i'll have a hell of a time rushing thru everything cos i need to print the photos then scan them then lay it out for printing all in a day's time. i wonder how i can do it :(
stoopid mi, go to a normal shop and hafta take so long to get it developed, neva crossed my mind at that point that i was down for printing my project on the 17th. stoopid me!
aniwei, i already called the shop up to tell them pls inform me asap once they receive the negs. and hopefully someone will take pity on me and swop slots w me :( even one extra day ll help. but at the end of the day, it's all cos i m blur blur blur blur blur so end up having less time to do. *hit myself*

aniwei, i really went to cut off one of my dried white roses and slipped it in btwn the pages of a book i m supposed to return. i kinda wrapped it with my library receipt so tt it wun stain the book. actually i think its quite a silly thing to do but no harm doing it. and it'll be fun to imagine who ll find it. it's a thick book. there s always a possibility that not the first person who gets the book after me will find it. haha feels a bit like Serendipity. only i din put it in a Gabriel Garcia Marquez book. i love Love in the Time of Cholera. but tt's another story.

hmmm...rem someone once asked me where i wanna go for my honeymoon. i replied saying not sure whether i ll ever go on one, then she said :"okie just tell me which place u really wanna go, even if its only for a tour." so i told her Spain? yeah i wanna go spain. besides that i also wanna go Prague and Taipei. dun ask me why of all places, Spain Prague and taipei. i do like to travel just anywhere but I these are just the places i wish to go the most :P

Moon River
Moon river

wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

Oh dream maker you heart breaker

Wherever you're going I'm going your way

Two drifters off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see

We're after that same rainbow's end

Waiting round the bend my huckleberry friend

Moon river and me