Finding that elusive relationship; you just got to hang on
by Stefan
My friend, Bob was going through a crisis. He was brave enough to ask a schoolmate to be his girlfriend and was unfortunate to be told. "I am sorry but I don't exactly feel the same way."
He was crying. Yes, men do cry.
It was good, I kept telling him. You were brave to ask and you must be brave to accept the truth. And now you must move on.
Easier said than done.
I don't handle relationships well. I'm an idiot at platonic, boy-girl and family relationships. I can't seem to please everybody and in the end I become unhappy myself.
Many relationships form without you realizing.
I've heard much more about boy-girl relationships than any other in my entire life. It seems the most difficult to handle and yet people are just so happy to jump right into it. Some get to be torturer, while others are tortured. But the key is, we are all so happy to subject ourselves to the complexity and uncertainty of boy-girl relationships.
Before you know it, someone has become a part of your life and he/she plays a part in your sorrow and joy. Gradually, your emotions are dependent on each other. In the process, some people resisted that bonding and preferred to control their passion and 'love less'.
An important girl once told me that she wouldn't subject herself to that kind of emotional dependency that'll make her vulnerable. She couldn't love. She doubts relationships. Doubt means she questions love. Doubt means she is not ready.
Ideally, love is mutual and two-way. Realistically, it doesn't happen most of the time. So when it's unbalanced, one party experiences pain. Your body racks with the strain of a surge of emotions- disbelief, regret, disappointment and closure.
You try to rationalize yourself everyday. You try to numb yourself in work. You try very hard to stop remembering the good old days. You try letting go. You try not to cry.
You try, with all your might and emotional strength, to put out hopes that continually rekindle themselves.
Letting go is a technique, which comes with experience. Sadly, the more easily you are able to let go, the more lightly you view each relationship. It's a bad inverse effect.
Life doesn't stop. It brings such beauty and sometimes sorrow. You grow. You experience. You accept. You live.
Relationships form, and unfortunately a lot of them break. You don't get many people who'll love you genuinely and eternally. Cherish what you have and don't dismiss their presence and efforts easily.
Yeah, I realize it's part and parcel of our lives. Those who manage to break out of it successfully secure a life partner. Perhaps that's why people risk so much to seek THE ONE.
Easier said than done.
I can't do it myself.