.:--Adult Content--:.
I miss him so much. He was worried about me when the alcohol kicked in so fast my temperature was 103°F at least. He took me to the bedroom. I remember I was half on-top of him and felt him. I remember he liked it. I remember he got real hard. I remember thinking about how big he is. I was surprised. He was obviously horny, but I don't remember that part. I remember telling him he's the only guy I'd ever french kissed or done anything with. I remember crying and telling him how embarassed I was that I was so trashed and he was completely sober. I remember crying a lot. I remember laying on him, well, half of me. I remember him holding me close and rubbing my back and telling me it's okay. I remember I felt so connected with him. I remember I started to jack him off. I remember him asking me to do a favor. I remember him asking me if I'd suck his dick. I remember telling him how scared I was. I remember I did it and I liked it for some reason. I remember I started to cry again. The next day I had the worst hangover. It lasted over 16 hours. I swore I'd never drink again. But whatever. I want to say I don't care anymore, but I do. A lot. I can't wait for him to come back home. He's in Connecticut right now with his mom, Jon, and Jon's mom. Joe's mom's name is Bonnie and Jon's mom's name is Charlett (sp?). I'd like to lose 10 pounds. I'd be 125. That's my "perfect" weight goal. I'm 5'3" tall, I should be able to achieve that. I was down to a 5/6 but I'm back up to a 9/10 again. How pathetic. Can't I just keep the weight off? But okay. It's okay, right? Of course it is. He said we'll stay together forever. He's going to college soon. All this talk is making me cry. I miss him so much. I wish he'd just call me or something. I text'd him last night from Audra's cell phone. I think he'd be more likely to call me if I had a cell phone. I wish I did. I'm going to get a job when I'm 16 at American Eagle or somewhere like that, and I'm going to pay Mom and Dad for every single penny. I figure if I make $3.50 an hour and work 12 hours a week, every week, then that's $42 per week. That's a little less than what Joe is making. But that's 2 weeks worth of gas money, at least. So $42 times 4 weeks per month equals $168 per month. So minus 50 for gas money per month, I'll still have $118. Minus up to $45 for cell phone charges each month, I'll have $73 a month still. That's not bad. Not bad at all. I'll put $50 of that $73 into my savings account, and I'll never touch it again. This way, I'll always have money incase of an emergency or something. Joe and Jon are moving to Lake Ozark in one year. I'm going to move in with them at Semester of Junior year if I possibly can. I need to look up high schools and such. I just need to stay with Joe. He's the perfect guy for me. And I love him.