and more...
After that, we talked over the net and on the phone. Unfortunately, It at that time, he was not in a situation to take anything serious and he thought that I was alittle imature for him. I dont blame him for thinking that way now, but at the time, I was very disappointed and mad at him...

We didnt talk for the rest of that year.

The next year, right around the time we had first met, he emailed me and explained his situation and why he had to act so ignorant. I'm a very forgiving person. I never let anything get into me that much. That's why I cant hate anybody or not forgive them. He apologized and of course we started talking again.

It was the day of thanks giving when he came and gave me a ride back to the ferries and we hugged eachother good bye...

====================================================

two weeks later I came back to Vancouver, and since he lives in Tswassen, he came and picked me up from the ferries and we went over his place.

I went in, they had a big house, its looked old but interesting.. there was a piano ... a cat.. very nicely decorated.. We went upstairs to his room. It was cozy. We sat and talked and I played alittle with his turn tables (he's a house dj). Then we headed to the beach. The sun was setting and the wind was blowing beautifully. I sad down and played with the shells. He told me he liked my new highlights and carressed my hair slowly...

Then we both got up and hugged eachother... we stayed there for a little bit and then we went to another quieter beach. He told me he used to play there when he was a kid...

The weather was beautiful... the sun was now down.. and there was the clear blue sky.. We hugged again.. I remember how good he smelled and was asking him about the cologne he was wearing.. and then we slowly kiss...

We stood there for 10 minutes just kissing.. it was definately one of the most special kisses i've every had. It was just beautiful. Then we went back to his place and he gave me a ride back home.

the rest of the story...
The day after I went and visited him before going back to victoria - at that time I was living in Victoria, and would come and visit my parents some weekends in Vancouver- . we had some wine and he walked me to the bus stop. and gave a little good bye kiss. I remember how badly I wanted to stay and kiss him more. But the bus was leaving and I had to go.

After that, we talked alittle bit, but he wasnt in a situation to take anything seriously, and unfortunately, he thought I was trying to get serious with him. For any reason it was, we stopped talking to each other. I was really mad at him, cause he didnt give me any reason why. ..

anyways.. we didnt talk for the rest of that year...

The next year, around October ( around the same time last year), I recieved an email from him, wanting to know how I was doing. He told me a little bit about himself, and he tried to explain the reason why he didnt want to be seeing me that time. Anyways.. finally I came back home for thanks giving. And I met up with him, It was brief.. but he still looked calm and attractive... he just gave me a ride back to the ferries, and we said goodbye....

luck or strengh?
I cant believe i'm feeling this much better after a sad break up a couple nights ago. Maybe it has not hit me, or I just dont want to think about it or accept it.

We've known eachother for a long long time. I remember when I first met him. I was so excited to see him. It was more like a blind date. I bumped into him once, and we started talking alittle bit;then we realized that we had a mutual friend, who we both respected. That's how it got started. At first I was not friendly and acted really snobby. I remember how patient he was.And although i told him some harsh stuff, he still remained calm and tried to get to know him. I loved talking to him. He seemed very mature. Although I was only 17 and naive at the time, I loved his personality. He seemed different.



That day I was so excited. I waited for him for 5 minutes, and then he showed up. Totally not what I excpected.. thought to myself...oh no way!

anyways.. that day we had a good dinner and talked about everything .. at the end when I was saying good bye, I saw that spark in his eyes, but i just gave him a hug .. and said g'nite. I really enjoyed spending time with him. I remember when we were talking, how he calmly he would look me in the eye and what a beautiful smile he had.

... to be continued...

Hello
Hello. I'm new to this blog. I find it a good place to share my thoughts and Ideas and memories in, I'd love to hear your comments, and I hope you enjoy this.




Ok , a little about me!

I'm going to tell you a little bit about how i physically look. and a little about my situation in life right now. Just so that I can get it off my shoulder and get in to the real stuff!! I wont post anything more about my looks, etc, cause I believe this blog is for me to share my thoughts and ideas, and im way more interested in that .

As I said i'm 20 years old. I go to school, doing business right now. And I also work part time at a designer clothing store. I used to go to University of Victoria, but due to different interests and family situations, I decided to move back to my home town, Vancouver, and enroll at SFU (hopefully this january). I work out once in a while. I love walking, going hiking and working out. I'd love to do fun sports more, if I ever get some time!!!!



How do i look ? hm... i'll post pictures of myself, as soon as i learn how to. but just a little information:

I have long black hair
hazel eyes
i'm about 5'4
120 Lbs
I'm in an athletic shape
I'm half spanish half persian.

my best features:

My hair (its long :) )
My ass (look somewhere between beyonce- not as big- and J.Lo - not as fake)
My eyes
.. and i'm very curvy.

I general I consider myself, an average girl. I do think I am attractive; And I have a lot of confidence. But I dont think too highly of myself. From what I've been told, at first impression i'm very appealing to the eyes, and most guys think i'm exotic and hot. (that's just their opinion). But over all i'm passed the years of "craving attention" and " how can i impress the opposite sex" . I'm passed the times of dressing too sexy or putting too much make up , so I could get more complimented and feel better about myself.

Right now I know exactly how I look and what kind of attention I need (definatly not too much physical) .

.. and .. a little more about my weaknesses:

I'm loud.
I'm too blunt ( and this is a bad thing, cause not all my ideas and opinions are logical and perfect).
I cant concentrate ( i have to have at least 6 things on my mind at the same time)
I'm mostly distracted.
I'm not too organized.
My cars always messy, cause i'm never home and i live in my car most of the time.
I waste my time alot.
I dont get along with my sister.

ok.. I definately have more emotional weaknesses than physical; and i'll point them out in my next posts.



so there... anyway.. i'll post some pics and you can judge for your self. Now I can get into the real things that are going on in my mind :)