o where to begin...so much shit is on my mind. i was doing so much better, too. it kills me to be like this. anyway, monday was good. i guess? went to the docotrs on monday night, g-d i hate her so much...im forced to go by my parents. its for my schooling and teaching me how to study. in all truth, theres no use for it. ive even told them it, but theyre like im willing to pay 100 bucks for 30 minutes if its gonna help you in the future. its so fucking stupid, i hate it. i hope that i dont have to go after my next few visits. after that, i filmed my vocab presentation at kaylas house. it was alotta fun. definitely the highlight of my night. did it to n'syncs: bye, bye, bye. we dressed up as guys and it was just cool. i hadnt laughed that hard for being stupid in a really long time. it was cool. then when my dad was on the way on tuesday, i dont remember much, except a few things. it happened at lunch. i had a pretty good day before 1200...but i had forgotten to take my meidicine. cracked up most of the day before. but at lunch, i took my medicine. our whole table was laughing: britt, jenn, taja, jax, sarah...and i sat there with a blank stare on my face. i had looked at lauren orth, one of those..."gorgeous" girls and everyone thinks that. i thought of myself. and i got down on myself. than britt was like, "whats wrong?" i couldnt tell her, it was so hard for me. i told her it had to do with brian and i told her later...she was like, "that was so hard to tell me?" and i was like, "yeah" but she didnt udnerstand what i was really thinking. on wednesday...thats the longest day. i went to school. had a rather happy day. kemery made fun of me like crazy, it was hilarious. took my history test, i think i did ok. then after school we had our soccer party. played tackle football. it was so much fun...so wet, so cold, so dirty. amazing. we talked to phil and a bunch of shit hit me really hard, while we were talking, not literally. he was upset and phil is one of those guys everyone loves and hes awesome and he can make me happy in one of my worst moods. it made me so upset and sad and depressed. i realized ive been such a bad friend. it was the first time, in a really long time, that i cared about someone elses feelings other than myself. i mean, of course ive cared, but not in the way a true friend cares. it hurt me alot...it amde me angry and mad. i have been so caught up in my own feelings and havnt been able to pay attention to my friends. i realized all around that amazing people get hurt and that they dont deserve it. also, some other friends of mine have been upset and i havnt been there. it makes me so mad to the point where i was able to make myself sick. i talked to my mom last night, she was the only one i talked to, as well. i wanted to talk to brian. only brian. i realized throughout going out the reason i was upset was because i had changed my personality. i had forgotten how to be his friend, his best friend. the person i had been. he says hes sorry and didnt mean to make me feel like this...im sure he is sorry, but it doesnt change much. also my mom had a really hard day. she had settled a case and her boss, who always treats her like shit, was screaming at her. and it made her feel so terrible. then she was thinking that shes been a terrbile mom. we sat there on my bed crying and talking. we decided the caring runs in the family. but my moms amazing, shes one of those people who dont deserve the way she feels. also, it was my brothers birthday and he got his license. :). but when my brother and dad got home they were in a fight, on his brithday. i didnt think he deserved that...he really didnt. he also found out he couldnt go to this thing today and was so mad. he got in a fight with his girlfriend...i wish it wasnt so. i stayed home from school today. too much was on my mind, i was feeling too sick, and i couldnt study for my huge bio test. slept till 2. that was good. i talked to brian tonight, not like it changed anything i told him i still loved him...yes, i still do, no matter what i say. anyway,i wish he could have said something more than, "its ok" and truely told me what was going through his head. thats what i needed...not just, "dont worry. i fuck up everything. im sorry." or not give any response at all, that just leaves me hanging. i wish he would talk to me like he used to. thats what i miss. o well, nothing will change that. anyway, i think i need to talk with people again, i need that. w.e. im the new me.
11.9.03
im upset, what a shock. gasp! ive been cleaning and reorganizing all day...since 12, when i woke up. im sick of it, im bored of it, and i hate it. why do i hate cleaning and reorganizing? 1 word: memories. memories are amazing, they suck ass and are the most amazing thing at the same time. i found old letters, my journal thing that i wrote in twice...but i had written my deepest darkest secrets, and many pictures. looking at them and reading those letters made me so happy. i got all upset and it sucked. then i got in a fight ith my mom and she was such a bitch to me and said, "jesus christ. casey you cant fucking do anything i ask you. you cant even remeber to take your medicine, let alone you lost it." thanks mom. shes such a bitch sometimes. g-d i hate her. well now im almost done and about to do my homework. fun stuff. last night i went to another movie, the singing detective. pitiful. it wasnt all that bad it was just odd, very odd. it corrupted my mind. then i got in this mood and i wanted to sneeak out so bad. but noone was letting me come over and the only person who would actually let me come was matt and it was too far. damn. yeah my life is great. bye.
11.8.03
hola chicos and chicas. im in such a good mood. so after deciding that i had no life and that i had nothing interesting to do the guys came to setup my room. one went to eastern, they were cool. anyways, i went to lizs for dinner. it was good. i kpet making fun of myself and her and her dad (for some reason...hahaha). she made fun of me, her mom did too. me: "would you make fun of me if i was a redneck?" her mom: "yes. yes casey i would make fun of you if you were a redneck." me: "lizlistn to your mom! its a conspiracy of making fun of me." her mom: "but then i again, i make fun of you already so it doesnt matter." i <3 the nylund family. so then her sister jane took us to see love actually at the ritz. that was possibly the worst movie i have ever seen. i kept raping liz during the movie and at one point i got on my knees and porposed to her. she rejected me, tear. anyways after that godforsakenly long movie we left. i got carrot cake and liz got terimasu or however you spell it. yummy. when we exited the parking lot and jane was driving us home, after her terrible parking job, liz and i ran out of the car. jaskol was standing outside and we had just jumped out. liz put her food down and i dropped my carrot cake. i am smooth i tell you.so i lost my cake and i forgot to shut the car door...oops. liz and i went to super video got eight crazy nights and we ran into skip and matt. well matt i just gave hi teh finger out teh window and he went back to wherever he was, but skip came in and said hello. he is such a gentleman...maybe? we went home and watched that movie. it almost made me cry. i think i care too much. elanor and whitey were sooo cute. at like 11 i was about to go home auseliz like fell asleep on me but she wanted me to tuck her in so i stayed and ended up sleeping there. we woke up, went to the bagel bin. i forgot to pay...woops. then we went back to her house ate our bagel and sipped from juicy juice boxes. :). now im home. just setup my scanner that ive had around for about and year and im reorganizing. meg comes home tomorrow! yay! i think jackie does too, and britt! yay! im pretty sure brian does too. i havent decided if thats good or bad. yes, im excited to see him and shit. he is my friend and thats cool. i just dont want to fall right back for him. over this past week of him not being here, ive been coping with my feelings so well and ive been so happy because hes been away. literally im over him...at the moment. i should hang by this moment. with him not being here its been easier for me because people dont constantly talk to me about it or i just dont even here his name as much from random people. im afraid of sinking back to where i was. my doctor evn said i looked so much better and that was me without taking any meds this whole week...i was too lazy. anyways, im going and in tribute to jaclyn michele lindsey...i think thats the whole anchalotta (she hasnt said that in a while). o wait, to my jews: im going to try and go to the nfty-par convention thats in like 2 weeks...let me know if youre going...13 days till i go home. :). and happy birthday britnee and nick! au revoir mi compadres. i love the postal service..."nothing better"
11.7.03
whoa, havnt written in a while. it takes some getting used to...still miss my blurty and all its entries. helped me keep track of my feelings and i lost all of them! g-d damnit. o well. so whats been going on in the wonderful world of voorhees? not very much, at least in my life. most people are in florida and have deserted me for this weekend. :(. meg comes home in 3 days! yay! i hope shes had fun on her cruise...im so jealous. nat and i went on a cruise a few years ago...holy shit, it was amazing. bermuda babes forever. :). britts in florida, jackies in florida...everyones away. liz went to conecticut for a day, but still. ive been quite happy lately. its been very good in my life for the past week. i think i have all B's in school. its not that good, but my computer wont be taken away. ive been sleeping and lazing around alot lately. i need to get out of the house. slept over at samis last night...shes one of my best friends. no idea how shes put up with me since i was 2, but o well. were sorta alike in many verious ways. we ate yesterday, alot of candy. our friend leigh came over and got some guy to take us to wawa at 11. we got AMP, snapple, good stuff. then he went to CVS. he walks out and says, "there was such a long line and noone at the register, so i left" he was such a douche. we stole some of his condoms...they were gross, alredy lubricated, not expecting that. what else has happened? umm...o yeah, last night i wentto morimoto. holy shit i love that place. my favorite restaurant in the whole world. its in philly. i got...japanese-style chicken noodle soup, a benito salade, and SUSHI. it was the best sushi h ave ever had and chicken noodle soup. wahh. today ve done nothing, yesterday i did nothing, and havnt done much since sunday. i hate when noones around and i cant leave cause these people have to come over and set up my room. getting it reorganized...yay. wont do much for the rest of the day, maybe something interesting tonight? w.e. yeah, the brother and friends over right now...blah. ahhh! he gets his license in 5 days! yay! theres not much to look forward to anymore. besdies that. i would be excited for this weekend if i was able to see austin and asher...damn. thanksgivings coming up, maybe i can see holly or danny when im down in DC? who knows. the only thing i can look forward to is yellowcard, o wait. whos that again? adios amigoses.
11.2.03
yo! so, nick maimone set this up for me. props to him, thanks. :). anyways, my blurty got suspended cause i wasnt 18 and i couldnt use it anymore. damn it, im gonna miss that thing...i dont remember what i last said in that, probably something about breakingup with brian and me hating me life and whatnot. well, 1. im better now. the first week is always the hardest 2. i am slowly getting over the child, but hes still one of my best friend. 3. maybe shit will work out, who knows. this weekend was cool. i was a guy for halloween on friday and liz was my hoe...we got ditched for trick or treating. blah. then we went to jeffs talked to brian about important shit but was good so jeffs was pretty cool, actually. then came home. saturday umm...i got my nails done and met people at TCL. i missed going to fudruckers cause my mom is slow at getting outta the house, but it was fun...the rest of the night. i met some cool kids and bonded with alaina. shes awesome and bowls, good stuff. then from TCL we all walked to donnies where we chilled in his basement. when alainas dad came almost everyone went home, so me jaskol ian anthony and zach went up to donnies room to check out some funky thing he was building. the my mom came and went home. i got up today at 130, reorganized my room, went furninture shopping for my room, and grocery shopping. yumm. i bought soup at panera break, my favorite! now im updating this shit and about to study for math after im done my biology objectives. fun. so bye. im the new me. o yeah, nick thanks again!
