Hi Rich,
I?ve been hit with another malaise?I wasn?t feeling too great this week, crampy in the stomach, got the runs, and when Kristin got the runs, too, I let her stay home Tuesday. Really, she should have gone back to school Wednesday but I let her stay home and then I let her stay home again today. I?m not sure why ? it?s not good for me to miss time from work. There will be less money in the check and we?re going to be spending lots of it soon, but I find I just don?t care.
Is this a part of missing you, or am I submerging those thoughts again? I find that I?m not trying to make myself think of you again ? too painful. I haven?t heard from David since just after Thanksgiving, when his son Glenn was hospitalized because of some kind of infection. This young man is REALLY disabled; he?s got a shunt in head, hydrocephalus and all that, and I?m thinking, do I need this? Eh. I haven?t written back to the other widowers either. The one, I can?t even remember his name now, has written to me a couple of times even though I didn?t answer and so I suppose I?ll have to politely answer him. He told me he?s not working and he gets $45 a month from social security ? very poor. Hmmm?don?t need that shit either. I?m no longer actively looking for a male friend or penpal.
I?ve been writing, more fanfiction stuff. I haven?t gotten started on the mainstream stuff yet. Sometimes I wish I could just stay home and just write write write all day and all night ? but I guess that wouldn?t be good for me or for the kids. Are you still around me? Did you tell me what you thought of my ideas for a story? Come on, you can show up in a dream or appear to me ? please give me some kind of sign, Rich!