Hi sweetheart,
Well, this hasn?t been much of a journal so far has it? I?ve gotten out of dealing with feelings again and last night really had a fit of temper directed toward Kristin. I don?t know how or why it happened because it started out with Heidi in a snit (she has her period) and I guess along about 9:30 I mentioned to Kristin that it was her bedtime. She said she wasn?t tired as usual and then we got into how she?s not playing in the holiday concert this year because she?s been up so late that she can?t get up to get on the early morning bus. So Billy and Heidi got on her, like a couple of little parents, one criticizing her for wasting her time and money on the bass and the other saying to me that Dad wouldn?t let her get away with this, why do I let her get away with it? All of that made me really mad ? partly because they were interfering and partly because they?re right ? I?m too soft and they know it. Then I began to feel taken advantage of and that?s when I lost it.
Tsk, tsk?not good. So what was it then? I suppose it was not having you here to back me up to send the kids to bed like I should. Part of it was guilt for being too involved with the computer that Kristin feels she has to be down here with me ? I thought to myself, okay, I have to drag myself away from the damn thing long enough to get her into bed myself?and that means take a half hour to READ to her, spend time with her?and I should spend time with the other two as well! The email can wait, the lists are not that big a deal, and I can always write stories when I want?
So the anger I felt was driven by guilt (my own) and missing you ?
Today Kristin has the runs. She seems to have picked up a stomach virus. She?s had a couple of cups of tea so far?let?s see how she does.
I bought a laptop computer to take with us to Orlando ? NO I am not going to hook it up to the Internet. It?s strictly for keeping an account of our travels and maybe writing some stories in between.
I had an idea for a story about us?
So what do you think, Rich? Do you think you could get a message to me somehow that you like this idea? I?ll try working on it starting today ? maybe it could be that ?Great American Novel? you always thought I could write, huh?
Love you!
Me