Hi sweetheart,
The last couple of days have been really tough. Last night I took the kids to the mall and we had our Christmas pictures taken. I wanted us to have a family portrait because we hadn?t done one in years, not since 1992 I think, and we hadn?t had Christmas portraits done in years either. The last time we were all together in a picture was at Oma's birthday last December...so hard to believe it's a year already!
And I looked at the proofs and just wanted to cry because their was this big open space where you should have been. How am I supposed to go on like this without you? All of our dreams of retirement, all the things we were going to do together ? all the places we were going to see?Rich, all of that died with you, and my heart is just breaking. I just cried and cired for like two hours last night.
I?m not really looking forward to going away to the Jonathan Frid show or to Orlando or anything else right now. I was telling Nancy that this feels like the Dark Shadows storyline about parallel time. The character goes into this room of the house and it changes and the character is in parallel time,where people look and act the same but things are still very different. I feel like I?m a character that accidentally got trapped into this parallel time world and now there is no way to get back. It?s horrible?
I love you and miss you still, my darling,
Me