Good morning dearest,
The significance of the day just hit me. Today is the official celebration of Veterans? Day. Do you remember that big snowstorm we had on Veterans? Day in 1987? We had a big fight that day. The snow was coming down so hard and you were sick ? you were scheduled to go in to see the doctor in the next day or two and you collapsed in the emergency room at Laurel Hospital on Friday the 13th, 1987 ? anyway, I didn?t want to go to work, and you were mad that I didn?t want to go. I thought the snow was going to get worse and was appalled that the schools weren?t closed. You thought I should go ? we needed the money. I was mad and went outside and started to brush the car off and then you came out and said to come back in, forget it. I refused at first and we were acting like a couple of babies. It?s a good thing I stayed home that day.
What a fiasco it turned out to be! The schools weren?t closed although the snow was coming down heavily. By the time the buses were arriving at the high schools, the school officials realized we were having a major storm and announced the kids would be sent back home. Parents scrambled for daycare. Buses with kids, enroute to the schools, got stuck in the drifts. Parents were going crazy when they couldn?t get into the schools (because the roads were so bad) to get their children. Kids were stranded in the schools overnight with the unfortunate teachers who showed up there! After that, the schools in Maryland would close if a snowflake was in the forecast.
Guess I don?t have to worry about David anymore. I sent him an email and, as Joanne suggested, I told him that I was ?zaftig? but that I was working on it. Joanne said it would be better to find out now what kind of person he is. I haven?t heard from him since. Ha! Well, giving him the benefit of the doubt, it was Veterans? Day weekend and he seemed to be deeply affected by that. I saw two posts by him on the WN board about being a Veteran and his wife was a Veteran, too ? I didn?t respond to him there but I did send him a card. He sent me one back that just said he was giving me a hand salute for Veterans? Day. So it goes ?
I responded to an online ad for a penpal with a guy named Tom who lives near Binghamton, NY. He is single (wonder why he never married?) and he answered me, so I answered him back. Don?t know if anything will come of that, either. I feel guilty about it all, thinking that maybe I?m moving too fast. I decided I only want email friendships although I am desperate for a hug and, yes, sex too. I miss being with you.
Saving the worst news for last today ? my friend Ron died on Friday. Ron is one of the co-writers of the online fanfiction series A New Vintage, which continues the story of the old Falcon Crest series?the one where David Selby played Richard Channing. The executive producer of this new series is a young man who often rubs me the wrong way. I was much closer to the other writers, Nancy and Ron. The three of them were great, very supportive of me when you died and Ron has been a fun email friend?sorta like a kid brother I liked to tease. Anyway, I didn?t know this but apparently he was very overweight like you and as a last measure decided to go in for this radical gastric bypass operation. I had some really strong misgivings when he told me what the surgery was for ? but then, I thought, oh, it?s just the year that?s been so bad. You?re over-reacting. I absolutely could NOT believe it when Jim emailed us on Saturday to let us know that Ron died and burst into tears.
Kristin tried really hard to comfort me, telling me that maybe you were with Ron helping him into heaven. And when I asked aloud, why does this keep happening to good people? Meaning you died too soon, Ron died too soon ? Billy answered, ?Mom, this happens to bad people, too. We just don?t know them.? Smart kid, huh?
Billy refused to go to bereavement group on Thursday night. Everyone was supposed to bring in a memory of their loved one and he procrastinated and didn?t seem to want to go and put it off and finally picked out a pocket knife that belonged to you. When I said I didn?t think that was appropriate and he should choose a picture or something else, he went ballistic and said he wasn?t going to go, didn?t need the group and on and on and on. I talked to Eileen, his counselor, and we?re doing all we can for him. He answers very superficially and denies any emotions ? he?s been like this since he was a child. WHY? And yet his report card is wonderful! He is carrying an 89.2 GPA ? it hasn?t been so good since like 5th grade!
Joanne wants me to write a letter from you back to me. I haven?t done it yet. I?m going to try it today ? I have no idea WHAT will happen.
Love you always,
Me
P.S. Last night the Faith Hill song, ?There You?ll Be? was playing on the radio and once again I thought, we really belong together. I don?t know how long I?ll be around but it?s going to be a long lonely 10, 20, 30 years if that?s what it ends up to be ?