Hi sweetheart,
I was listening to Q103.4 like we always do in the morning. Bob Buckman and his morning team were still providing coverage of what happened yesterday. They were playing a lot of patriotic music (like ?Oh Beautiful? by Ray Charles) and songs to make you think (like ?Imagine? by John Lennon and ?Teach? by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young).
People were calling in to talk about how they were feeling and to volunteer in the search and recovery efforts. Some callers want to blame the Palestinians right off and throw them out of the US or bomb their countries but Bob tried to get them to chill out. That is just so wrong. We don?t even know yet who did this yet. I don?t want to see this turn crazy, like after Pearl Harbor and we were interring innocent Japanese Americans.
Heidi wasn?t given the whole story and so when she got home she was upset, especially after seeing some of the coverage on TV. She called Emma right away. Kristin was shocked and dismayed. Some of the coverage was too graphic. You could see people jumping from the WTC buildings, 100 stories up, and the kids were really upset by that. I was too. It was like watching a disaster movie. Kristin cried, especially when she found out that all the places we went to that day we went into the city for Fest is gone, totally obliterated. ?It?s not fair,? she said.
No, it?s not. Last night, before Kristin and I went to sleep, she said, ?Mom, does this seem like a dream to you? Like when I wake up tomorrow, you?re going to say to me, ?No, it was just a dream. The World Trade Center wasn?t really blown up.??
?Yes,? I told her. ?It does feel like a dream.? After a moment I added, ?It?s like when Daddy died and I felt like it was a dream too.?
Kristin nodded. ?I know,? she said softly. ?Heidi was crying and I hugged her. I told her that Dad survived a-fib one time before and that he could do it again.?
I just let her talk, just asked if this was when they?d gone to Janet C?s house. I don?t know what the kids thought that morning; if they knew before I left that you were dead or if they were hoping you were still alive. I just couldn?t ask her.
Today I just feel so sad for the loss of all those innocent people. It?s not just the people who were in the planes and in the buildings?I?ve heard that there are over 200 firefighters and over 100 policemen missing since the towers came down. There are volunteers back down there again, working through the rubble and ? I don?t know, I guess they?re just trying to bring everyone out. The reporters were talking about how there are no whole bodies and I just couldn?t listen to that. I turned the TV off.