Hi sweetheart,
I lit a candle for you tonight to bring you closer to us ? well, to let you know that we love you still and that we?ll never forget you.
Today I took some steps?I hope in the right direction. I signed Billy and Kristin up for a bowling league through the police association league. I also stopped at the gym here in Massapequa Park to sign Billy up for boxing lessons. Maybe I will buy a family membership for us. We need to be physically fit, for our own health and peace of mind and also to give the kids something constructive to do. They need to be out among people so that they have a better chance at reaching their potentials?especially Billy. He can do better than those crappy kids that hang out here.
Tonight I met my friend Joanna and her family and we all we to a Chinese buffet. You would have loved it, sweetheart. And what?s really nice is that Joanna?s kids and our kids got along pretty well. Joanna?s husband is very nice, very friendly. I think she said his name was Morris, but there were so many names, I can?t remember them all. Joanna has six kids. Her oldest, Joseph, is JUST like Billy!! They got on famously and so did Heidi and Joanna?s oldest girl, Miriam. Rebecca is about Kristin?s age but I don?t know that they hit it off so well but they weren?t really sitting near each other. There?s another little girl and then a 5 year old named Sarah and another little boy, 3.
We had a wonderful time. I wish you could have been there to enjoy the food. Maybe you were there with us, enjoying it. From reading Embraced by the Light, I?ve read that spirits can be held to the earth by grieving family members. I feel so selfish. Heaven sounds beautiful and I feel guilty about wanting to tie you here. I know you?d be saying I always like to heap the guilt on myself. I should say to you: we will be okay, be free to go and learn all you want to learn but I?m just not ready to let go of you completely yet. Rich, I love you so much. Have we really been together in the past and will you keep your promise to be there for me?
The candle flickers every now and then but still burns. :) It?s like my love for you, steadfast. I?ll always love you.
Me