Widow Support Board:
Rich would have been 41 yesterday. Years ago, I threw him two surprise
birthday parties. He always said he didn't like surprise parties but I think
secretly he did...or he didn't mind that I did it. I was going to throw him
a party for his 40th birthday but held off. I thought he might suspect I'd
do something. I thought I would surprise him this year...well, he surprised
me instead.
Still, I did some of what I thought I'd do for his surprise party. I invited
over some good friends and planned a barbecue/swim at the pool. I went to
the party store and got pearl blue & gray balloons filled with helium. I got
a cake but instead of "Happy Birthday" I had "Here's Looking at You, Kid" on
it with blue trim and more balloons...
And we wrote on the balloons and tied baby's breath to the string and we set
them off into the sky. I cried and my friends hugged me. The balloons looked
so beautiful floating away into the sky.
Today Rich's brother and sister and their families came over and I thought
that maybe Rich was there too, among his loved ones and friends and the
balloons.
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I don't try to fight it either...it's like Elton John's song, "Sad Songs".
I'll put on music I know will help me cry. I feel better after I cry.
The only thing is, I try not to stay down all day. It's hard to get up if
I'm down all day so after a while I look for something to do to pick up my
mood.