July 22, 2001
My situation is a little different than yours. I have a "toxic" family and
long ago decided that it was healthier for us NOT to have contact with them.
I've been pestered by people saying I should "forgive and forget". The only
thing I did do was for my own health...I let go of the anger. I told myself,
they are who they are and they are not going to change. I still don't have
contact with them but I'm not angry either.
I would never tell you to "forgive and forget" when what happened was so
hurtful to you and your wife. You don't have to see any of these people or
talk to them if you don't want to. If there is a way to release the anger it
would be better for your health.
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July 21, 2001
I'm struggling with the Grief Monster too. My husband Rich died on May 23
and on Wednesday it was 8 weeks. I sorta got through that but I'd been in a
state of shock or something, still found it hard to believe but on that day
it began to become more real. Now I'm crying almost all the time.
I try to keep myself busy because the busier I am the less I'm thinking
about Rich. But yes, it's bad at night. My little one is still in my room.
She is 9 years old and misses her dad although she's kind of quiet about it.
For a while both girls were with me--the older is 12--and it ws comforting
to not be all alone. The therapist said well, you probably ought to have the
little one go back to her own room and I thought, no, not until she's ready.
Why am I going to kick her out and then have to listen to her cry and she
has to listen to me cry? That's dumb.