Hi sweetheart,
I have a really big muscle spasm in my shoulder and neck. It started yesterday and I really wish you were here to rub it. Heidi tried and it helped a little. I think I?ll have to try a heating pad.
That secretary for the OBGYN?s office called to apologize for the screw-up on Saturday. Apparently this guy WAS supposed to have office hours and what seems to have happened was that he had to go deliver a baby. Well, fine, I said, but someone should have called to let me know. The woman said there was a note there that they called the house and ?left message with son?. I told her I found it hard to believe that my son would withhold the message from me, especially when I came in and was as upset as I was. But Billy?s lied before so I guess I will have to ask him?still, I am going to see this new doctor today and have the thing taken care of. I really wasn?t interested in the excuses of the doctor, legit or not. They could have left a note posted to the door and they certainly could have left someone on staff there to tell people that they hadn?t reached. I know there was at least one other couple that showed up for their appointment.
Today I just feel blah. I just want to be able to go and get this appointment over with. Other deaf clients have their issues too and it?s a strain on me. I feel the panic attacks coming back in the mornings when I?m driving to work. I guess I?m going to have to tell someone soon.
I called a number Roseanne recommended to get the kids started in an 8 week bereavement group that starts in July, July 19th. The woman, Gerri, didn?t think there would be one for spouses until the fall. Isn?t that a hell of a thing? You?d think they?d need more of those groups. The lady did say that when the social worker called I should talk to her. Sometimes they form new groups based on needs and not on schedules so we?ll see. It?s in Bay Shore; I told her I?d be willing to drive to Bay Shore for the kids? sake.
Your old girlfriend Helen has called a couple of times and she emailed too. Sometimes she really is a bit off the wall. Sometimes I talk to her and she?s normal and other times she?s going on chapter and verse about being saved and being in the light and yadda yadda yadda. She seems to think I should be convincing your friend Marlon to become saved and to ask your friend Bob if HE is saved. It makes me squirm. When she talks like that on the phone I just get quiet and don?t say anything. She ?gets? it and either moves on or says she?ll call me back.
Well, sweetie, I?m about talked out for the moment. I don?t know if you can feel how much I miss you and how unreal it all still seems to me. I?m afraid of when the reality does crash down on me. I think that the pain will be awful because I can feel the beginnings of it now.
See you later, my love,
All my love, Me