Hi sweetie,
Did you see the website? I almost felt like you were looking over my shoulder. I probably worked too long with it because I sure felt the lack of sleep today but it was definitely worth it.
Heidi, Billy, and Kristin have all dreamt about you. Heidi said you came to her and told her you loved her and me too. Kristin dreamt you two were playing together. Billy remembers more like a scene, watching TV and then getting into trouble. Do you come to me in my dreams and I just don?t remember? Is that why I?m doing okay? I did feel a little emotional today at times but I haven?t gone all to pieces?not yet anyway.
I miss you most now, at night. We watched The Perfect Storm this evening and it sure was good. Well, I knew what the outcome was going to be but the storm scenes were magnificent. No, I didn?t watch it for George Clooney. I don?t even find myself all that interested in David Selby anymore. It doesn?t matter that much. Nancy brought me a signed poster of him and?I feel nothing. I?d rather have you but that?s a given.
My cousin Edith called and we talked for a good long time. Georgia is no peachy place to raise a kid either. They?re having problems in THEIR neighborhood with a bratty kid. Our kids are doing okay; they?re so good, Rich. We really can be very proud of these kids. Edith asked if I was going to stay in LI and I said I sure as hell was going to try. I?ve gotten more support here than anywhere else. There?s NO way I?d want to be in Maryland, no way I?d want to go back. There?s nothing for me there. This is home ? it just seems right.
I guess maybe S was right. I do feel you a little, especially in my heart. I?m not as strong without you though. I?m not leaning on the kids to help clean and stuff?I guess that?s a bad thing. But they do help when I ask them to. It?s just that most of the time it?s easier to do things myself.
Are you with your mom now? I?ve been hoping that you were still with her?like maybe part of the time? When you?re not here? I don?t know how it works. All I remember is that exactly one week to the day after I meet your mother, she was killed in a car accident. But I?ll tell more of that story tomorrow. I promised the kids we?d go to bed early tonight.