Hi sweetie,
It?s been a mixed bag of a day. Heidi went to an all day training in baby sitting and she?s enthusiastic about babysitting and making money. She?s saved up $37 now and would like to watch babies. I think it?s cool. I think the zoloft is helping her because she?s so much better (her mood) and we?re getting along better (knock on wood). I dropped Billy off at the magic card store so he could play in another tournament. I don?t think he did very well because he called me around 1:30 to come and pick him up. Kristin helped me go grocery shopping. The kids want to go and see ?The Time Machine? so maybe we?ll do that tomorrow, although all I really want to do is watch ?The Quiet Man? and maybe ?Angela?s Ashes?. When I talked to Cheryl about borrowing ?Harry Potter? (she said no, Christina was watching it) I broke down and started to cry. I miss you, Rich! I can't believe you?re not here ? it?s almost like back to square one. I look at your picture and wonder, where did he go? When will he come back? And then I have to tell myself, you dummy, he?s gone, he?s NOT coming back! Teddy wrote to me again but it seems like he?s running out of steam, running out of things to say and I guess I am too. I?m not really ready for this. Not at all? I?m going to try and write some more. I think I?ll also look at pictures to help me with the letters to you. I know you already know this stuff but I?m thinking to a time when maybe the kids or someone else would be interested in reading this?to follow the grief process if nothing else.
I love you,
Me