Hi sweetie,
I?m trying to clean and straighten up around here. I don?t know why I did this but I invited Robin, Dan, and Nancy to come over for a St. Patrick?s day dinner and now I don?t want the company. I?m wondering why the hell I decided to take on such a big project? Cheryl can?t come because her daughter is sick and Nancy and Robin wanted to know if we were still on and I was tempted to cancel and didn?t. Now I don?t want them to come over. What is wrong with me? I don?t feel all that great, got stomach cramps and the runs. Ugh.
And what is going on here in the house? Are you being Boo Radley, like from To Kill A Mockingbird? First I find the pizza spatula, which I was sincerely wishing for. Yesterday I went down stairs and stepped on a little plastic sandwich bag that made a loud pop! Sound. When I bent over to pick it up, I saw it was hospital ID bracelets, all of mine and Billy?s and some of yours. I remember you told me that your mom had this superstition that you need to keep hospital ID bracelets or something bad would happen to you. ? Well, we didn?t keep the one from your recent stay at NCMC that I know of? But even more puzzling is how did that plastic bag get there? I never noticed it before.
This morning when I went into the basement to show the furnace man where it was, I saw one of your straight razor blades on the floor, in a baggie. I am completely mystified. This morning, I opened my backpack and there are pictures of you. I sat looking at you and I began to cry. I miss you so much. Are you leaving little treasures around for me to find to let me know you are with me? How about that poetry book? I would love to have that ? and could you let me know HOW did you get on the floor from the sofa? It was as if someone had laid you out. You were on your back, legs fully extended, your arms down by your sides, hands curled slightly. How did it happen? And why? Why?
I miss you so much Rich.