Hi sweetie,
I have a bad case of the blahs today. Nothing is holding my interest. I don?t feel like doing the rpgs, don?t feel like posting at WN, didn?t even feel like writing to you except everytime I try to edit the posts I copied from Widownet I get a ?winword has committed an illegal operation and will be shut down.? What a freaking drag. All I am doing is trying to neaten up the margins so that the space is used more efficiently. Eventually, I?d like to print the stuff out but NOT if it?s like fifty pages long because I can?t get rid of the extra spaces and lines.
I did end up bailing on Nancy and Cheryl. Cheryl called around 4, while I was out picking up the girls from Scouts. Heidi told me that they would call from ?on the road? and shrugged. I just felt exasperated. I?d sent a post out telling about my interaction, why couldn?t they just let it go? And this was AFTER I said I probably couldn?t make it. So anyway, I didn?t feel like making the steak after all and so I decided to take everyone, including Ashley, to McDonald?s. We got back around 6:30 and there were no messages from either Cheryl or Nancy. Ashley?s aunt came to pick her niece up around 7 and about an hour and a half later, the phone rings again. I?m thinking, oh, man, what if they haven?t eaten dinner out? So I decided to be ?asleep? and Heidi just said I wasn?t feeling well and had fallen asleep.
I don?t want to go to this GTG in the city, either. Kristin turned up with another cold yesterday and is running a slight temperature. On top of that, the weather is supposed to be really nasty. On top of that, I don?t feel like spending money on a train to go to the city and then again to go to this GTG. So I thought, aw, the hell with it. Anyway I emailed Arline and just said the truth, I didn?t feel up to it. She emailed back and encouraged me to try and I thought that?s really kind of her. She understands what I?m feeling and is trying to persuade me to go without strong-arming me. I appreciate that.
I talked to Steve for the first time in a while. I wanted to know his opinion of the Computer Learning Center and me trying to get a degree in computer networking. He thought I had a better skill?sign language?and asked me, why didn?t I finish my degree and become a teacher? And I thought, hell, why not? I would enjoy that. So I?m going to look into it.
As for the writing, Rich, it?s like pulling teeth for me to sit and write anything. I shouldn?t pressure myself like this. I know it doesn?t help, which is why I just hoped to work on the stuff I posted to track my mood over the last few months. I see that I was in a much more positive upbeat frame of mind around Christmas and afterwards and I wondered what caused the change. Yech. Blah. Ptui. Who would have thought I would ever feel this way? I am at the computer and I?m BORED with it. I just can?t think of anything better to do?:P
Love you,
Me