Hi sweetie,
We spent almost the whole day in bowling alleys. Kristin and Billy were to bowl in a tournament early in the morning. I hadn?t slept well, couldn?t get to sleep until after 1 so I was feeling really tired. Ashley came over around 8:30 and soon after, the four of us left for the alley. Heidi decided at the last minute she didn?t want to go. Well, Steve came in, saw me and asked, ?Where?s Heidi?? When I told him she decided to stay home, he said urgently, ?Go get her. I need her. I have kids cancelling on me right and left.?
I was doubtful about it but I called Heidi who sounded non-plused but agreed to bowl. I drove back home to pick her up and as expected, she was feeling fretful?people were going to be mad at her because she couldn?t bowl well, etc., but I soothed her and luckily Steve paired her with Billy. Kristin was on a team with three other boys. Actually the kids did okay, especially Kristin! It felt good to be in that bowling alley with the kids, cheering them on. I am so glad that Billy and Kristin wanted to join the league, and Heidi now says she?d like to try it next week.
Another one of my teeth broke today. What a pain in the ass this is. I haven?t gotten my dental cards yet and so I called Aetna and found out that the lady at work signed me up for a medical-COBRA instead of just the dental one. She is going to get the problem fixed tomorrow (I hope) but meanwhile I made an appt for next Thursday. I hope the tooth lasts that long!
And the biggest kicker of all was that Billy?s developed an allergy to augmentin so I called the dr and he called in a prescription?and it cost $75!!! Rich this sucks. An antibiotic costs THAT much??? Each one of us has to meet a deductible before the medical plan starts to pay for it. Even then, I still end up paying a minimum of $10 and usually around $25 for them. Widowhood SUCKS, being alone SUCKS, not having you there to root the kids on SUCKS.
And don?t say ?that which does not kill us only serves to make us stronger? or ?it builds character? ? after all we?ve been through I should have the strength of Superman and I AM already a character! I don?t need this extra shit! I want so much for you to be here?and I know it can?t be, I?m not kidding myself. I just miss you.
Steve reminds me of you. Sometimes it?s unnerving to look at him. His hair is like yours and he has a beard too, has glasses and he?s tall with blue eyes, broad shoulders?all like you, dear. It hurts to look at him sometimes.
I love you darling,
Me