When I see the word ?blue? I think of the color of your eyes, Rich. They were a lovely shade of sky blue, very expressive, warm and loving. Most of the time they were hidden behind your thick glasses but when you took them off when we made love or when you were trying to fix something up close, I could see them. I didn?t realize how lovely your eyes were until you took your glasses off and the funny thing is, you didn?t believe me or you?d give me this skeptical look sometimes? but I think you were pleased.
When I hear the word ?word? blue it makes me think first about your eyes and the look in them when you?d ask me, ?Do you know how much I love you?? And I always would have something self-deprecating to say because I wondered myself WHY you loved me. Was it because of me or was it because I loved you? Does that make sense? I think my love for you grew because of how much you loved me. I guess it just self-perpetuates itself.
Another thing I think of is your shirts. Your favorite color seemed to be blue and you always looked so good in blue. I think of the long sleeved blue shirt I chose for you to wear at the wake and how I wish I could have had it back intact but they had to cut it up the back to get it to fit you. It was one of your favorite shirts and one of your newer ones. I think I?ll have a teddy bear or something made from it. I liked the way the shirt looked on you, bringing out the color of your eyes.
And the other thing I think of when I hear ?blue? is how I feel to go on living without you. I know that you are here with me, Rich. I know that you love me and I love you too. Still, I miss the hugs, the touches, the intimacy, the sound of your voice and oh, yes, the ?blue? of your eyes when you?d look at me with such devotion and love?God, I miss you, honey!