Dear Rich,
And so it?s the start of another new year, you are not here and I have no job. Why am I not feeling anything? I should be raving, upset, cursing at you, me, God ? but I?m not. I have this feeling of almost malaise?a ?whatever? kind of feeling. Let?s see what tomorrow brings. That was NEVER like me. Am I changing? I feel that if one thing is changing it?s that I?m more connected to the kids ? I?m doing more things with them.
Billy at Pathmark at the height of shoppers? frenzy yesterday ? you wouldn?t have believed this kid. He had two special meals all planned out, one for yesterday, one for today. He?s been knocking himself out. It?s almost too much. Anyway, as he shopped in the store, people were crowding around, pushing, shoving and he was just totally oblivious. It was so cool to watch him in action; he was so calm, so unlike you, me and Heidi.
I?ve been going offline more often to do things with the kids, shopping, the movies?I?m learning not to kick myself for not having done this earlier.
I?m still procrastinating on the writing, though?give me a good swift kick, eh?
I love you and miss you,
Me