HUMMY How's about that then? In True Jimmy'll Fix It Fashion, you've had a taster of new things from my upcoming star journalists! I've had some feedback already from people either going on about how confuzzled they were on account of Darren or how funny/weird the Guest Book is!

All I can say right now is to keep them coming, the easiest method would be for you to click on the contact section and let me know your views, both are waiting to hear from you. So get on writing. I'm seeing Cassie on Sunday, so expect a more personal account following that, but right now I'm gonna leave you with a request! If you have the time and money to make a poor young man very happy, please buy me one of these, I'll be eternally grateful. You all know what that means, don't you, 'Hummy Luv' Tokens. Yeah Baby!

HUMMY Poetic Tragedy .  Where were you, the weekend that Britain suffered temperatures at 100° Fahrenheit? I met up with an old friend who got in touch through Friends Reunited. We ended up watching Terminator 3, and then talking of fond memories over drinks, I saw quite a few old friends that night.

At first I don't know what I was expecting, it's weird I hadn't seen him in almost Eight years, it was nice to recap though, it was quiet eventful (random blaring drunken bloke being one of my highlights). A Camera phone led to many disturbing images.

Q. Why is shopping ALWAYS so tiring and why are clothe sizes never hte smae in two shops even when they both say the same number? Rach XxX
Well when I go for my weekly shopping of ladies clothes and leather pants, I find the very same problem!

Q. this is freya im imi's moody bitch mate and i would just like to say hey and that i think its totally rude that u saw my house and didnt say hey to me! hee hee only joking!
You have a beautiful house, I was in awe and probably would have said something retarded had you come out.

Q. u single? hehe
Yeah I am, I'm tired, I just want to sleep for a while.

Q. Any final thoughts on T3? Impart forth your cinematic wisdom.    H.
Hmmmm....yes. Try here?

HUMMY Feel Like Something, Feel Like Someone.  I've got so much to do, I really have to sort myself out, I always leave things to the last moment, those that fail to plan, plan to fail. I've go to sort out a couple of immunisation forms by Thursday, which means I need to go sort it out with my Doctor.

I was thinking about things, our views on others are directly comparable to the way we see our selves, people talk about society in general, but everyone's idea of society is different. That was such a pointless thing to make a remark about.

Every now and then, we chance upon a perfect moment, where everything else just seems to fall into place and everything feels strangely fine. I was just thinking about some of the perfect moments I've had in my life, obviously a large proportion of which with Cassie, but there have been other times where I've felt just as content, I kind of feel in those moments, that maybe this is what it's all supposed to be about.

I can't help but be vague, I'm sorry, I've been working on making a little Art Gallery for Joey, it's not fully up yet, but you can get a feel for the site, I like it anyway, I've become scarily addicted to the music section of the Atlas Official Website, click on the little radio icon and listen to the short music samples, she has a beautiful voice.

Q. what will it cost to get a web page like urs
I don't know, I've been asked to make websites before, I tend to just make them free of charge for friends and people I like, but umm... I don't know how much is reasonable?

Q. Do you scratch your balls when you wake up in the morning?
I don't think so?

Q. cool site - good larf  *_- Sincere.
Thanks, Sincere, or should I really call you Peter Andre?

Q. I'm bored as hell and you with your no money was meant to come and see me but noo *sniffs* so yeah anyway what's a good cure for boredom seeing as I seem to spend all day bugging you anyway, not that you're boring - I just feel bad for you being stuck with me? Rachy XxX
Hmmmm....yes.

HUMMY Day By Day.  I've not much to say today, my head also hurts a lot, I feel like I've been punched in the head, like I've said before, I do sleep walk, maybe I walked into something and knocked my head, that reminds me of an embarrassing moment at Cambridge Summer School, Sam will remember. Go Here!

Recently I've been online til the wee small hours of the night, however I've had much amusement via the beautiful images Jo manages to conjure up, the masterpiece below previews what life in an igloo might possibly be like, I have no need to talk about the emotional and symbolic notions, because they are plain for all to see.



Q. if you won a million pounds what would you do with it and why...
This is a good question, aside from gestures of a good kind heart, i.e. charity, the more interesting aspect, well certainly I'd like to travel the world, I'd spend a year visiting all those places I wanted to visit, Tokyo, New York, Rome. I'd like to buy myself a nice little apartment, learn to drive, buy a nice car, all those materialistic things, buy an iBook, go visit and treat all the people that have played an important part in my life, family, friends, or else just blow it all on buying an enormous quantity of Haribo's to swim in.

Q. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I'm not fussy, I'm just hungry!

Q. If you strangle a Smurf, what colour does it go?
I've answered this question before, based on practical experiments on Papa Smurf, I can confidently say, Turquoise.

HUMMY The Remedy. It's strange how everything seems so different in darkness, I've just been down the Highroad to get something to eat, I bumped into some old friends, well people I knew, well rude boys from my old school, half of them had either just been released or were going to prison! Monday 4!

1. If you could get away with it, what would be the most violent crime you'd commit?
Probably stab Robbie Williams in the eye, with a ball point pen, said very calmly and assured.

2. What would you consider the worst body part to have itchy?
I've had itches in the soles of my feet, actually somewhere inside and the thick skin stops you from being able to scratch to soothe it, maybe this just happens to me.

3. If you suddenly became gay who would you want to have sex with? If you are gay, what if you became straight?
I'd have to do it with Darren. He's great in the sack, ha ha!

4. What is the worst thing you've ever touched?
Let's not go there, ghastly memories!

Q. thats meeeee..apart from the black eyeshadow! i dont go heavy on the makeup...bethy x
Yay!

Q. I thin I want the same but in a guy obviously lol! Oh and minus black eye shadow because that may look a tad obsucre on a man - not htta I have any prejudice against drag queens etc but yeah caring's all that matters all the material and physical things are only a secondary source of emotion luv Rachy XxxX
What's wrong with a guy wearing black eye shadow! I see you're point, ha ha.

Q. Who do you think is the most beautiful person in the world? - Kery
Cassie...

HUMMY In Reverie. I want, I really want, this is what I want, I want a girl who wears lots of black eye shadow, I want a girl that doesn't give her kisses away too easily, I want a girl whose hair smells nice, I want a girl who clings close, making you feel as if you're the only person holding her up and nothing else matters.

I want a girl who doesn't mind dancing with a boy who can't dance, I want a girl who doesn't mind a boy whose all too often a little bit rubbishy with gestures of love, but with a huge heart, I want a girl who wants nothing more than to just sit and cuddle and be content. I like the feeling have knowing someone cares, I like the feeling that when your stomach all knots up and you can't think what to say because you're taken aback by someone beautiful, I like feeling that she's the most beautiful girl in the entire world and she's with you, I don't know what I want. A revere reverie, anywhere with you.

Q. r u stooooooooooooooopid?
Probably...

Q. humayun rashid...you spelt my name wrong! (no 's' on the end!) bethy x
All Apologies, Your Majesty!

Q. Do you ever feel like you're trapped in this stupid cycle that does nothing but reak havoc in life and as much as you hate it you can't seem to break it? Or is that just me? Rachel
Not particularly, maybe it's just you, he he, cheer up luv!
 

HUMMY Suicide Notes And Butterfly Kisses. I've got something I want to write about, well I have, but I'll write about it later, if you can be bothered please send your questions using the thingy up there, I hardly get any now, make them as crude, vile, inane, as you like, just make them good. My First Friday Five!

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
That really depends on what time I went to bed the night before, I got woken up this morning by hideous Traditional Fifties Asian Music! I'm going to need Hours of Psychiatric Help.

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
Sleeping in on a Sunday, is possibly one of my most favourite things, however, my family being the busy-bodies that they are, always wake up early inevitably waking me up in the process.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
I usually grope under the cushion in search of my Mobile.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?
I normally don't make much effort and carry my Morning Hair throughout the day. I'm a minger, I've managed to deal with it thus far! He He!

5. When possible, what is your favourite place to go for breakfast?
When I have the money, a fry up at the cafe after a night out. Mmmmmm....

HUMMY Wide Open Space. Some time's it feels as if I write too much, or some times that I don't write enough. Everyone writes some way or another, I've finally finished reading Brave New World, I definitely recommend you to read that, as well as Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four, scarily accurate!

I finally got round to watching Dancer In The Dark, it features Bjork, you know that oddball Icelander with the warbling voice, it's incredibly touching, and the ending really does come unexpectedly, I have to admit, that it did leave me with a tear in my eye, I like films like that, so almost real, you almost presume will will happen, what the focus is, and all along it's about something entirely different. Sam, who you can see on your left, decided to write again, at this minute he's in Hollywood, the lucky sod.

I've got myself a Live Journal thing sorted, I probably won't use it so much, people use it to talk more freely and openly about their inner thoughts and emotions, I don't really think I need to go so far, I guess I just don't have those feelings, I suppose boy's have a different way of dealing with things like that, we're not so in touch with our emotions, I'm doing a couple of new Features, which will be up sometime, probably, anyway in the meantime take drugs, have sex and rock and roll! Check mah bad self!

Q. why don't my forms work? :(
It should be working now, both Hosted Scripts and Ziqane have been acting up, so I've resorted to Bravenet, hope it doesn't happen again, I love getting messages!
 

HUMMY Teenage Angst. Shine the headlights, straight into my eyes, like the road kill I'm paralysed. I've been making good progress in moving away from the trough I've been wallowing within, with inevitable dips now and then, but in general it's been good, I found a friends' profile, have a read!

Whilst speaking to my new friend Jo, we discovered that both her and I are bands!!! How cool is that, go visit Finch, and look whose supporting them on tour...HUM!!! While I get a little supporting act, Jo has a whole entire website to herself, JoJo!

People ARE as fickle as you imagine, jumping from one thing to the next, maybe that's good for the moment, but whose to know what will happen next, that's unreliable and unhealthy, especially for me. Thing's happen, you don't always have control over them, but you always have options, you should try and remember that, and instead of blaming everything for the way it is, stand and up and fight bravely. Let the individual go for it's own delight, whilst maintaining an overall goal for the whole.

My entries will become normal eventually. "Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else,".

HUMMY Flavour For Fever. Hey, thanks for checking out my site, as you might have noticed I'm just added a music player to the site, give it a minute or two to start to play, I've got lots of other ideas for the site, so keep visiting regularly, I found the coolest thing, please buy it for me, I'll love you!
 

Q. hows my webby going? hehe *excited*
It's coming along just fine! I think, I'm totally confused by your question actually but I'm going to try and ignore that fact.

Q. Are you missing Sam? Cos your posts are really down...awww
Yeah actually I am, I didn't think I would, but I do. Come back dude!

Q. u have to put up on ur page.... THANK U NIKKI FOR THE LOVELY FAIRY I STOLE OF UR FACEPARTY!!!!! thank u! :)
Hover the mouse over the image on the left missy!

Q. I'm really happy you feel you're ascending again *coff* in any particualr areas? LMAO or umm anything I can do to help your 'ascending'?
Hmm...what is it with these messages, look at me I'm the biggest geek ever! I hope for my sakes you're a girl, but I'm sure we can arrange something, ha ha!
 

HUMMY Stockholm Syndrome . I've forgotten how absolutely rocking the amazingly talented Muse are, a lot of people talked about them being Radiohead rip-off's but they've really digressed into their own avenue and really come into bud, download their latest internet only single here, oops!

Today feel's like I'm finally ascending again, I think it's fair to say, that in general I've been down recently, but when I thought about it, I realised it wasn't just the one single thing bothering me, it was everything, the whole process of moving away to University, although incredibly exciting, is still daunting. I've finally got myself a Broadband connection, but as I figured, I'm already bored of it, over saturation that's my problem, I have to learn to take smaller bites, instead of trying to gulp things down in one go, whilst trying to install it I had to open up the computer and remove one of the network cards, pricking my fingers in the process, causing loss of blood and then managing to whack my head against the underside of the desk, add to that, I'm ill anyway but you know what, for the first time in a while I'm happier, I don't know why, maybe it was a certain someone, Sam's emailed me, that's cheered me up, he sounds like he's having the time of his life, the lucky sod, my plans for world domination are coming into play, with Charlotte my baby making machine and General Ambassador Atherton, things are hotting up. Take care you crazy kids.

| |

HUMMY Lost In You . I can't find myself again no more. Thank you to everyone's whose gone out of their way to be nice to me, I appreciate each and every one of you, and thank you to all the people that leave their little comments, I love reading them, maybe I should listen to more Sugarcult.

I did receive quite a few Look-a-Like Pictures, in my Inbox but the meanies at Hotmail deleted an awful lot of my emails as I was way over my storage limit, so apologies to everyone who sent one, however here is one I discovered today, the delectable Miss Sophie who once hosted me, aeons ago, go visit her site please mister. Is she or is she not Vicky from Eastender's!

Q. Shut up, you're boring.
I didn't even realise that I was speaking.

Q. how many beans in a tin (lyndzy)????
895

Q. who's the girl? (p.s dont put this up as a question)
Which girl?

Q. ignore that bit about dont put it up as a question
I did ask one girl out, but that didn't really go to plan.

Q. How many times a week do you masterbate?
895

Q. Which celebrity would u say u r most like?
That's a really good question, who would I say I'm most like, I think realistically I've got a similar sense of humour to Joe of Adam and Joe fame. They're hardly celebrities though...

HUMMY Girls Not Grey. I wake up at night with a troubled mind, not knowing what's eating me, I just don't know anymore. I guess it's going to take time, this is killing me though, I just feel like I'm trying to climb up a wall, tumbling down over and over again, but trying anyway.

Without trying to come across knowledgeable about things, because I'm not, I'm incredibly naive to a lot of things, worst of all, I'm very bad at interpreting emotion from other people. Scientists say some people through genetics and other mechanisms are unable to distinguish between emotions, although this is common during the transition between child to adult, eventually the networking is correctly configured, I think personally one of my connections are loose, that's why I find it so hard to read between the lines.

Anyway it's not all been doom and gloom, in the somewhat sedated life of Hummy of recent times. I've managed to get myself into yet more embarrassing scrapes. Waking up late to find the house empty, I went down into the kitchen to pour myself a drink, having emptied the carton, I decided to take the rubbish out, although me being me wearing only boxers, I opened the front door and having just walked outside, heard the door slam shut behind me through some freak wind (Thank you God!). Thus I was left to cover up my embarrassing areas as people walked past, it wasn't long until my Dad had come back from a morning errand, but I'd been out for at least 15 minutes, which I might add felt more like 15 years! I'll never be able to look  the neighbours in the eye again.

Q. Why's the sky blue???
I tried explaining this once to someone, scientifically, they stared at me for a moment and then turned around to talk to someone else, so I think I'll keep my mouth shut.

Q. boobies!
Boobies are good...?

Q. you're stealing my fame of being on someone elses website cuz u
dont post me :( *feels unloved* but ummmmm yeah *pokes you* i'm gonna harrass you for a whole cya soon har har and you'll hate me after but the moments i spend with you will be forever in my heart *wipes tear* (i watch too much tv?) LUVZ YAAAAAA!!!!
Yeah...hmm...I'm not scared of you *Scared* lol

Q. And i'm gonna kiss you suck u taste u ride u, would you mind? LMAO *pokes u* guess who hehe:-D
Gulps...

Q. dont go out wiv 'jenna' - go out wiv meeeeeee! (bethy)
*Blushes*

Q. why are pills the answer to my remedy?
Well not that I'm in any way qualified to give out medical advice but if they've been prescribed by the Doctor, I suggest you try and finish your course appropiately.

Q. Is unrequited love better or worse than forbidden love?
Well that depends on what you mean by forbidden love, do you mean between people of different races, or sexes or what? I mean if it's that you're talking about, then I really don't see that it's anyone else's business, if you love someone and they love you back, then you're kinda in your own little world, it's you and them versus the world, that's how I see it anyway. Unrequited love, the bane of my life, how many girls have I been besotted with, who I've been too scared to tell, I don't know, as long as you're not referring to incest or the like because that's just wrong.  Whoever you are, clarify please, because I'm thick!

HUMMY My Sweetheart The Drunk. People take pictures of the happy moments of their lives, someone looking through them, could conclude that you had lived a happy, joyous, leisurely existence, they're intimate. No-one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget. Hmmm...

Photographs are stands against the flow of time, the shutter clicks, the flash goes off, and you've stopped time, just for the blink of an eye, and if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it is "I was here, I existed" and maybe "Someone cared enough about me, to take my picture". The idea of being a photographer seems infinitely appealing, it would be something I'd love to pursue, but again I'm restricted, I want to do so many things with my life, there just doesn't seem to be enough time. I hope that one day I'll look back and be glad that I tried to experience as much of life as I possible.

If you haven't heard Jeff Buckley I seriously recommend you listen to some of his music, he died tragically young, but left us with something quite astounding, you should maybe give it a listen.

Q. ewwo ^_^ tis Jenna (chunky_punky) ya know meh lol will you go out with me? and yus I am serious
*Blushes*

Q. I'm sure your area isn't as bad as you make it out to be? I mean,
surely it must have some good points?
I don't know about that, I guess there are nice places, but what makes a town are the people, and that's where it's lacking, the other day we were in Wanstead just down the road from here really, and you couldn't mistake the atmosphere, here however it's slowly deteriorating, but then again there's been a lot of investment here, with a brand new shopping complex being built opposite the station.

Q. Why are you using Easyworld lyrics in your journal? Has someone
converted you? Imogen, perhaps?
At the time, I connected with it. We shall see them live on Thursday, I'll try and give you my opinions then! Easyworld are good, but not the indie sensation everyone speaks of, it's been done before so many times.

HUMMY My, My Baby Blues. Things still aren't great, I find it impossible to sleep at night, even if I'm completely fatigued, my mind won't let me drift off, I'll be on the verge of sailing away into the unconscious when something will make me think about her and then I start missing her again.

The lack of ability to communicate has been my major drawback, followed closely by money, these are the things I need right now, so why am I doing nothing to change the situation, I make my excuses to myself and days drift into one another and all I think about is her, isn't that feeling supposed to gradually fade away, not grow stronger, what am I supposed to do, if only I knew, she's taken bites out of my inside, and now I'm just a hollow shell.

[EDIT] I apologise for the melodramatics, I've obviously not been happy of late, there's a number of personal reasons for that, which I don't want to write about, finding out the truth about people (Watching someone have a mental break down right before your eyes, thank you!), my broken heart I thought I'd be over her by now, I've seen better days then this, I really hope I can get out of this slump, there was one other girl, she made things okay for a little bit, but I put her off, with my longing for my lost love, what's wrong with me, she's strikingly beautiful, she's really warm hearted, I like her a lot, I don't know how I feel, I don't want to fade out, but I don't want to fade in like everything before. [/EDIT]

Q. ewwo ^_^ tis Jenna (chunky_punky) ya know meh lol will you go out with me? and yus I am serious
*Blushes*

Q. I'm sure your area isn't as bad as you make it out to be? I mean,
surely it must have some good points?
I don't know about that, I guess there are nice places, but what makes a town are the people, and that's where it's lacking, the other day we were in Wanstead just down the road from here really, and you couldn't mistake the atmosphere, here however it's slowly deteriorating, but then again there's been a lot of investment here, with a brand new shopping complex being built opposite the station.

Q. Why are you using Easyworld lyrics in your journal? Has someone
converted you? Imogen, perhaps?
At the time, I connected with it. We shall see them live on Thursday, I'll try and give you my opinions then! Easyworld are good, but not the indie sensation everyone speaks of, it's been done before so many times.

HUMMY You Make Me Want To Drink Bleach. Right now as of this moment, I feel so frustrated, and so constrained, I've not ever felt like this before, I've always had something to keep me from feeling like this, you sleep so still and after everything you claim to have forgiven...

I feel like I'm waiting for something that's going to take forever to reach, everyone else seems to have it already, why do I have to wait so long for things to start, it feels like everything's passing me by. A spectator of life, I know these words have been uttered many a time before by various mouths, but for me, that time is now, I don't know what I'm waiting for exactly, but I'll be there, ever long. It's so frustrating you know, not being able to do anything about anything. I want it now, I WANT IT NOW! I don't know what I'm talking about, I don't know why I'm writing it here, I don't know what purpose this has, but this is how I'm feeling, captured in my words, I'm breathing deeply feeling melancholy and regret, if I try and blank it out, it doesn't seem so bad, but that can only last for so long, until not thinking about things, makes me start thinking about it again, but what I'm scared of is, getting what I want, because I'll lose it all again, or it'll never be the same, it won't be like how it used to, it won't mean a single fucking thing. This is where I stand. Here I stay. There's no such thing that's guaranteed. What I would give for one moment's clarity. It's all I've ever wanted, I try and tell myself. Something else. Frustrated Waiting Forever For Life. I Want It Now!

Q. I think my teacher fancies me...what should I do?
Go for it, if you feel the same, enjoy life as long as you don't ruin someone else's.

Q. Why doesn't Fran have his own section?
He's not deemed worthy enough, no...he'll be gaining his own website, Fran is too big for this tiny little space.

Q. What are your favourite parts of the country?
I love London, I love the Countryside, I love Sheffield (?), I like travelling, I like visiting new places and new experiences, invite me, I'll be there.

Q. What is happiness? How do we define it?
Happiness is being happy, if you're happy you'll need no definition for it, because you'll feel it in every part of your being. Vague enough for you?

Q. Do you work yet?
No, I'm hoping to start University finally in September and hopefully start working once I'm fully qualified. I'll be one loaded mo' fo' and then all the girlies will want me...yeah right!

Q. I tried going into 'Darren's section' and it has a virus! What's wrong?
I have absolutely no idea why that might have occurred? Maybe I've got some dodgy coding initiating an antiviral defence. You do realise I have no idea what I'm talking about it, I'll have a look and try and see if there's anything I can do about it.

HUMMY Tell All Your Friends. Like many other internet user's I spend a lot of time participating in illegal activities, no...not that, but downloading music from File-Sharing programmes like Kazaa. It's a topic that has led to many debates and forceful action from the music industry representatives.

Apparently downloading music has had allegedly disastrous affect on single sales, down almost 50% since last year, a 10 year low - is a symptom of the malaise gripping the global retail sector. Profits are shrinking and that's something that the record industry is terrified about. Record companies have always been slow on the uptake of new technology back in the 80's the record companies came up with a ghoulish skull and crossbones motif stamped upon the inner sleeve of vinyl albums and bearing the stentorian legend "Home Taping Is Killing Music - And It's Illegal", but it was doing nothing of the sort, it started a trend of sharing new music between friends, sometimes leading to the purchase of the parent album. Now those friends that you shared those tapes with happen to be millions of anonymous people sharing music files online, threatening to sink the world's biggest companies (?).

File-Sharing has allowed people like me, to track down those rarities and difficult to get songs, that otherwise would be completely inaccessible to me, I agree that buying bootleg CD's from markets are having a detrimental effect on the music industry and that's something no-one likes, piracy and counterfeiting, but I don't think the issue has been tackled in the right way, with their persecuting attitude to the consumer, I think Apple have made a step in the right direction, introducing iTunes with downloading capability, in it's first week it had a million subscribers, that number has now quadrupled, something the record companies should learn from their example by charging a small fee, relative to the fact that there is no cost for storage, packaging, transport, to download high quality songs, is something that I'm sure if the cost was low enough and an easy method of payment was established would be something that I think a lot of people would be interested in.

You have to remember though, that when they talk about the music sales being in crisis, what they're talking about are CD Sales, if you look at other avenues for music, it's never been better, concert bookings, sales of musical instruments, t-shirts, ring tones, books and films there's still plenty of revenue coming in. Perhaps the Record Companies should quit singling out their everyday customer with such contempt and try and acknowledge some sort of compromise and in any case, the reason for such poor sales, could lie in the fact of the over exposure of these fickle television pop idols, leaving little if no room for more original and alternative music to thrive has disheartened music lovers the world over.

Q.You should check out where I work, we have exactly 1 (one) white person. The Gadget Shop didn't deliberately recruit non-whites; I guess us ethnics just hold on to shitty jobs instead of moving on. All the white folks quit..
Pretty much I guess.

Q. i havent forgotten about u, no matter wot u may think, ur still in
my heart! talk to u soon! hopefully XxX Nikki.
Snap! You're in my heart too, we'll catch up sometime, maybe go on that shopping spree.

Q. hummyyyy!! if you don't do something on your livejournal soon
mister it may DiSAPPEAR! ;X dude.
Eeeeek!

Q. Evanescence? Are you down with Fake Rock?
Pretty much I guess.

Q. Can I be in you gang now? Sam's gone, it's not complete without
him, and it's not like I could replace him. But can I, anyway? Plus I have mo-honey.
No-one can replace Sam, well I might consider it if you're female stunning and have lots of pretty friends for Darren and Francis to drool over.

HUMMY I Love You Like A Fat Kid Loves Cake. My last entry was abysmal, I felt really unsatisfied with it, not that it's much worse than the already substandard drivel I come out with! The Glastonbury weekend took place this weekend, it is the Macdaddy or festivals but just a bit too hardcore-hippy for myself.

I felt that it had quite a Radiohead-esque vibe, what with the Darkness starting it all off with a cover of Fade Out [Street Spirit] and the little man himself Moby, covering the glorious song that is Creep. Now download this, I think this is a song that all teenage boys sympathise with at some point in their lives, even myself! Obviously Radiohead headlining on Saturday, so a good festival all round from the responses I've had from friends who attended.

There's a girl from another site, who I read quite frequently, who happens to be dating someone from the other side of town, it's quite bizarre to read her talking about ghetto-ville Walthamstow, especially since I've been reading her site for a while now, and she's not from London so she goes out of her way to come here, very strange happenings indeed.

I've got myself a Memory Card for my PlayStation2, so have finally been able to progress in Grand Theft Auto, I have the latest incarnation too, but I want to complete the first one first, I'm a complete and utter perfectionist, as are a lot of people who create websites I've ascertained, it's an area under full control and so it's easy to customise everything. Anyway I've spent unhealthy periods at a time, sitting alone shooting up some hoes, something which I hear Darren does in real terms. I've got to get myself a digital camera, there are some fabulous things I'd like to take pictures of such as the misfortunately named, Kum Visions, outside from which you can catch the 69 bus, all the way to Hoe Street!

My financial situation is really restricting me from doing anything, I went to the Job Center but unfortunately was shocked to find that there were no pimping vacancies advertised, so disheartened went back home. I found this randomly.

HUMMY Fake Sound Of Progress. Sorry kids! I know I've been a bit lazy recently. Never fear, Hummy is now here! Wow, that rhymes, clearly the break from writing has had a detrimental effect on my writing ability, which was non-existent in the first instance. So what have you guys been up to then?

Sam finally left on Thursday, which has made things seem a little gloomy, I'm going to email him, and try and get him to write about his adventures travelling around the world. Lots of stuff to talk about, watching Day Time Television Shows is incredibly insightful did you know now that in America cinemas have to have extra large seats for the slightly bigger amongst us, in fact so much so that it's a criminal offence now, I don't know what to think, I suppose it's a good thing but it got me thinking about other social-politic issues, positive racism is just as bad I think as it's antipode, thereby filling in quota's or whatever, it's ridiculous, surely the point is that whoever is most able to fill a position should be the one to be offered it, that's not a very fanatic ideal, it should be the only situation. This only came to my attention, when I went to the local Asda to find it completely saturated with ethnic minority employees, Asda's aim is to try and show a reflection of society, but half of them can't even speak English it's ridiculous.

That completely shite song got on my nerves too, the Fast Food Rockers, or whatever they're called. What the hell is that? I'm glad Evanescence retained on the top spot for however long they were up there, the charts over the last few years have been abysmal, so it was nice for there to be something different parading on the number one spot. I always try and plan what I want to write about, but then that just seems to confuse me, so I think from now I'll just write randomly grabbing the thoughts as they come, I've finished reading Order Of The Phoenix, it's good, not as good as the previous incarnation and the speculated death I personally didn't find particularly moving, maybe that's arisen from my pro-active attempt at lacking emotion.

I need to find myself a job to earn myself some money, I missed a party last night on account of being completely skint, which is becoming the norm of late. I had planned to go visit Nikki or at least watch her performance tonight in Kilburn, but my funds aren't going to allow that, so I'll just have to miss out, it's a shame I really wanted to see it, but I'm not sure about things regarding that anyway so maybe it's what was supposed to happen. My internet connection should be back online in the very immediate future.

If like me, you're prone to forgetting Birthday's then visit Birthday Alarm for automatic reminders, you can even get friends and family t enter their own details.

I hung out with Francis and Darren yesterday, it didn't seem the same without the complete unit, avec Sam, Darren wore shorts which is like a first, oh those milky white legs, ha ha! All the girls were suitable impressed, Leytonstone is like this graveyard when it comes to girlies, but with the nice weather, they've all come out into the sunshine, lots of beautiful people. I'm going to start work on a site for Francis, it'll be quite popular I'm sure, mostly with the girlies I would imagine, I'll let you know when that's ready if any of you have seen 40 Days And 40 Nights, then you'll be familiar with the concept.

Q. I found your Dream entry fascinating. I spent ages analysing it,
and, this may sound far-fetched, but... I think you have an issue with biscuits.
Do you know what, I think you might be onto something there.

Q. Stick to Jafffa cakes.
That's not such a bad idea you know!

Q. Who decided mint is fresh? Why are mints, gum, toothpaste and
mouthwash all mint-flavoured? What if someone thinks fish is fresh?
I think Mr Colgate decided, if someone believes fish to be fresh then he or she is perfectly entitled to use it to freshen their breath, maybe that's something for you to consider to make your millions.

Q. Whats 'fellatio?'
Francis, tut tut!

Q. Is religion in decline?
I'm not sure, I think it's importance to the general masses has declined, however those that believe in it, seem to grasp more strongly at it, in an attempt to stop it from slipping away

Q. Out of the 3 games consoles, which one is best?
They all have their pluses, ideally I'd liked to own them all, but a console is only as good as the games available for it, and so I would say at the moment PlayStation2, however the Game Cube, has its little niche, and the XBox is a behemoth of power.

Q. I know I believe in nothing, but it is my nothing
This isn't a question.

Q. Everybody self-destructs so easy
Nor is this.

HUMMY Dreams. I had a pain in my head all of last night, and had quite peculiar dreams about totally random things, I guess there is a link to them, to things that have happened in my conscious world but it was portrayed to me in such a simplistic way, I'm rambling aren't I, maybe I should explain.

Thinking back trying to focus on the details is difficult but I remember the general jist of it, someone was forcing me to try biscuits, and I choose one, I forget which, but I immediately loved it, and forgot about any other varieties of biscuits, and I scoffed them down, but then for no apparent reasons they disappeared (aside from the fact that I'd scoffed them down). So feeling slightly bewildered and disappointed, I decided to try some other types of biscuit, the first was quite nice, but not as nice as the first I had tried, the second while looking very delicious tasted worse than the one before, and then I tried another from a different plate, which seemed to me to be the worst of all, and I grew a longing for the one I enjoyed most, the absolutely scrumptious one, but I was told I was not allowed to have anymore. I know what all of this means to me, but umm...why don't you who read this try and guess, it'd be really cool, leave your dream analogies on on the comments just below! 

HUMMY Two Alternative? Yesterday turned out better than expected, I saw Imogen yesterday, I picked her up at about 4, gave her my melted Malteasers which was very nice of me! Ha Ha! I Even wore a tie for her, so she better feel very special! I had to go up this really steep hill, and I always gave up half way.

I have become so inactive, I was thinking to myself, I can't put myself through this any longer, I'm just going to curl up and die here and hope maybe she finds enough of my remains to tell my family of my demise on climbing a steep hill. I had my first experience of Silver link Trains, I panicked half way along to the ticket barriers thinking I'd lost my ticket, I was sure it was in one of my pockets later finding it, in my bag, I'm such a klutz when it comes to things like that, I lose everything! Anyway we went to Camden, and walked around for a while, and had a little rest at Starbucks, watching and waving to old men walking past, well maybe that was just me. It was a really nice afternoon with little miss 'independent woman!' I took one or two pictures, but only of her back, she was quite adamant that I was not to take pictures of her face, because she thought she was un-photogenic, which is ridiculous because she's very pretty. Anyway we had a really nice time, and I get to see her ridiculously rich friends house, I sometimes think I live in a completely different world to everyone else, or at least the people of the ghetto of which all of us here are.

In the evening went into Leytonstone, without Sam, who for his own reasons didn't feel up to it. They've done up MacDonald's, to try and make it a little more sophisticated, it's quite nice, much better than I'd anticipated, I mean the evening wasn't particularly interesting, although I took a couple of pictures of Francis and Darren that I'll put up once I get the photos developed, aside from the polite gentleman we met, who offered us some pot, and Francis's remarks "Don't You Think You're Pushing You're Luck, Son?" on the way back it was quite uneventful, but nice nonetheless, I came back home feeling quite content. Some questions, finally!

Q. I love your hair. I really wanna get that boyband look, but can't quite manage it.
I'm slightly perturbed by that question, but I'll answer it anyway I use Brylcreem however it might be spelt!

Q. Also, if a boner falls in the middle of a forest but no-one is around, do you go blind?
Well the answer is obvious, yes.

Q. What came first the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, but I'm feeling hungry for some barbeque chicken.

Q. Do you believe in stigmata?
You saw the film the other night didn't you! It was a really interesting concept, but as far as believing in it, I'm not really sure, I sit on the fence when it comes to those things, sceptical as well as faithful.

Q. Also, if a boner falls in the middle of a forest but no-one is around, do you go blind?
Well the answer is obvious, yes.

Q. Will you go to hell by listening to rock as the cwazy man in oxford st. says. He showed us pictures hehe
Yes, go and put on your Steps Greatest Hit's CD on and cleanse yourself my child.

Q. you still find the word poo funny?...hehe?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, yes!

Q. any sexy girls on line plz?
I think you've got the wrong site mate, unless you were looking to find pictures of Darren in one of his numerous bikinis! Ha Ha!

Q. What's with all the last paragraphs of your journal entries that
begin with [EDIT] and finish with [/EDIT]? That some HTML code?
No it's not code, its just umm...the common format in the blogging community of showing an edition to an entry, it has no significant code value, I guess someone thought it was an interesting way of showing that, using the style of HTML coding.

Q. Ask Me Anything You'd Like...? Ask Me Anything You'd Like...? Ask Me Anything You'd Like...?
Someone has been having far too much fun!

HUMMY Can You Still Feel The Butterflies? This is only a quick one, something that is more usually uttered from the mouth of Franny but hey, I finally got around to buying stuff for people, got what I wanted for Sophie, got her the most cheesiest card around, I guess it was a reflection of myself! Ha!

I've made some CD's for Charlotte, Alkaline Trio, Jimmy Eat World and The Vine's albums, so I'll probably be posting them on my way to the internet cafe, I bought some new trainers, something I haven't done in ages, I used to be the kid at school who always had new trainers every other week, I was such a ideal commercial kid, I got those Adidas trainers everyone else has, they're cool and they're punky enough I suppose, what is it wristbands? They're everywhere. Cameron sucks arse. Seeing Imogen tomorrow, avec Powerpuff and Hello Kitty stickers! Tomorrow night will probably suck, things won't go to plan, but if nothing does, I'll just hang out with Imogen for longer, what else, what else, my new favourite sites are up, and Darren's Babe Section is finally up too, as is his Bo Selecta section, still being worked on, but have a gander, oh and have just started reading the New Harry Potter, so far so good, so shoot me!

HUMMY Come As You Are! You're questions have slowly dried away into nothingness, come on guys, keep the questions coming, for me they're the most interesting part of the site, just ask whatever you want to ask, I look forward to receiving them, this next week should be a good one, I've got some good stuff coming up.

I've bought myself a disposal camera so expect some photographs of random stuff, once I have them developed, if there's anything you'd like me to try and get a picture of, you've only to ask, whether that's more pictures of Darren or whatever? If you're like me, more pictures of Darren can only be a good thing right! It's my friend Sophie's birthday coming up on Thursday, I can't think what to get it, it has to be something that can be posted, or maybe I'll order something off the net for her? That's a good idea! It'd probably be a good idea to put some money into my account at the minute I think my balance stands at a grand total of 4p, and I'm being entirely serious. Broadband shouldn't be too far off now, so expect a massive change when that arrives at home. I love you all you know! All four of you!

[EDIT] The whole Big Brother nomination thing is so contrived at the minute, Mr Graham Norton single handedly manages to sway the voting, I suppose its the same people who vote into Big Brother, I guess really I wanted Jon to stay in, oh well, I think I'm maybe slightly too involved then is necessarily considered healthy! [/EDIT]

HUMMY Comfort In Sound! This week I've been preparing plans for creating my own army, eh Charli! But hey, keep it quiet, we don't want to give the game away yet, I've been losing my head recently pointed out by some quite ridiculous actions procured by myself, I don't know why I'm so stressed?

For example only the other morning, deciding to make myself some breakfast, I started pouring some cereal into a glass!!! My mind totally forgot I should have used a bowl and I got to the point where I was about to pour some milk into the glass, and realised how senile I'd become. I don't know whether or not I should be scared? I've always had a bad memory, which gets me in so much trouble, more than you'll know, but in general I manage to get by, just about, I hope you enjoyed the reviews section, you have no idea how long that took to get together, mostly on account of my laziness, oh you guys really ought to download this song! It's by a band called All American Rejects, the song is entitled Swing Swing, it really does sum up for me the last few months of my life. I guess this is how girls relate to those dodgy Westlife singles. Change the system, reconnection here!

FINCH 'What It Is To Burn' (Drive Thru Records - released 19 March 2002) The three of us are avid music fans with differing tastes in styles of music, so Sam thought it'd be cool to do multiple album reviews, each from our own view points, knowing that our musical tastes come from an array of backgrounds.

For a taster, just read the review below for the low down on Finch's debut album, What It Is To Burn, for more similar reviews check out the new dedicated album review section, eventually this will hopefully lead to an entirely new site I've been working on, but it's still going to take a while for completion, oh and let us know if there are any albums you'd like us to review, either use the question-thingy up top there, or email us or something, there's plenty of ways of getting in touch, you take care and enjoy my little cherubs, read on.

HUMMY See You At The Bitter End! I've been listening to my collection of Placebo albums, I know a lot of people find Brian Molko's voice irritating and his androgynous appearance doesn't help much in the battle to win over fan's but I guess those that do get it, get into it really deeply. Things will never change?

All I seem to talk about, the things on my mind have all been so negative recently, I had a bit of a misunderstanding with Cassie recently, I accidentally sent her a text by mistake and knowing my mistake immediately sent an apology, when I next spoke to her she ripped me apart for it, calling me a "liar", and suggesting I did it on purpose and the worst or hardest part for me, was the fact that, in spite of saying that it was a genuine mistake, she wouldn't believe me, which really did hurt, considering a few months ago, she insisted she loved me, which now seems so hallow, I mean sure, things didn't work out as I'd have liked them too, and the fact we lasted so long was special, considering how far apart we lived, I always hoped that I'd have a special place in her heart no matter what happened, like she holds in my heart.

Recently though, whenever I speak to her, she'll have a go at me, for things that she misreads or places out of context and I really don't know what to do, I care about her, I always will without a doubt, but the fact of the matter is that, whenever I speak to her I end up arguing with her, upsetting her and myself in the process, I thought we...I don't know what I thought, it just seems like the best option is to just exclude her from my life, that way we prevent the situation arising, but I'd be so angry with myself, but it looks like I'm not really left with any other choice.

The actress from Holby City is still in critical condition as far as I know, I don't know why but for some reason, other than of normal empathy I felt really taken aback by it, I feel more affected than I rightly should, I guess it's a result of my current mental state. I'm not sure if anyone else has made the connection but the actress (whose name I can't remember) used to have a role in Grange Hill and in that her character died...get this falling from a balcony? Art mimicking life, it's very surreal.

The situation with Cassie has further increased my paranoia what sort of person am I if I can't even retain friendship with someone who was so important to me at one point of my life? Ain't no headlights on the road tonight!

HUMMY It's been beautiful! The last couple of days have been really gorgeous, especially this Saturday, the weather has been amazing, it's funny how a little sunshine brings the happiness out in people, and the fair has arrived in town! I've been meaning to take some photographs, I'll stick them up on here later.

The fair is one of those pikey affairs, they're in town for a week, but nevertheless it's still nice to see lots of people out and about, and the park has finally been restored back to its former glory, and looks stunning in the sunshine we've had of late. I've been in a better mood with things, finally starting to clarify the slightly blurred thoughts milling around in my head. It's funny how things work out, how simple one thing can change everything, changing fate, every things related in one way or another, I mean I know it's been done before, but I've always wanted to make a film, connecting random stories together through the loosest of connections, showing how it all relates to one another, cause and effect if you like, or 'cozality' or however you spell it, yes I've been watching Matrix: Reloaded far too much.

My mind has been too narrowly focused on girls, that I've neglected the important things in my life, and now that I've realised that, I feel better, and less inclined to worry about the aforementioned deities. (Or so they seem to me, I guess it's one of those factors of attending a single sex school for five years, you seriously loose out on fundamental dynamics of having relationships, whether romantic or otherwise with females). Oh well, I guess I'll just learn as I go along. I think my problem is that my past relationships seem to cloud my new relationships, it's quite pathetic really, allowing that to happen, I guess I'm scared of losing whoever it is, that I like, and in an attempt to prevent such an occurrence I try overly hard, which I suppose is off putting, those occasions where I've been neglectful, although unintentionally have led to the more responsive of my relationships, so I guess what I'm saying is, don't try too hard, just let things happen without letting it become to contrived.

Punk Rock, it's not what it was, what with little kiddies walking around with Nirvana hoodies and such like, they don't know what they're doing, they have no idea about the essence of such music, they buy what the corporate suits behind MTV and other such conglomerate firms sell to them, this artificial, superficial nonsense that means nothing but big bucks for them, Punk Rock is Freedom, that is the essence going against the rules that have been set within society not conforming to other people's predetermined principals, it's okay to do things, that don't necessarily run parallel to other people's ideas of what is the right thing to do. So those kids, with the superficial Mohawk's the coloured hair, the "I'm such a rebel, I'm so punk rock" ideology are going against everything that punk rock stands for, it makes me sick to the stomach, if you read this carefully, you'll find an ulterior motive underpinning my frustration/anger? It's pretty obvious if you know me, but I'll leave you to guess! Thankyouplease!

[EDIT] There's a couple of new pictures up in the pictures section try heading for the third page, they're very cheesy so please don't laugh out too loudly and check this out boys, how hot is Miss Lavigne looking! She's on a beach in Australia somewhere. [/EDIT]

HUMMY Sometimes I Scare Myself! Yesterday on my way home, as I planned to cross the road, my mind went utterly blank, I couldn't judge when to cross, I just couldn't comprehend the speeds and distance of the cars, and foolishly in my state of bedazzlement I just simple ran across, narrowly being missed.

But I do remember thinking that I could easily be hit, if I misjudge this, which was a conscious thought in my head, nonetheless I still attempted to risk it. It wasn't until I was a little further down the road, that I realised that I knowingly risked my life, I wasn't scared that I could easily have been no-more in that instance, and that's what scares me, the fact that I wasn't. I think it's by reading the book that I am, that I'm weirding myself out, I wake up with headaches, even though I'd have had plenty of sleep, having a good nights sleep is supposed to make you feel completely refreshed, and I've experienced that feeling, but recently I don't know, maybe my mind has been working overtime, maybe that's why I couldn't judge the speeds of the cars, maybe that's why I feel so isolated in a little bubble that I've created for myself. Am I Happy? Well I am with some aspects of my life, and not so much in other areas, anyway goodbye.