boring lazy day...
ok today was stupid and boring... i woke up late cleaned my room up and then like sat around all day... i called matt... hes a sweetie.... then i fixed some of myu sis's pants for school and then just sat around SUCH A BORING LAZY DAY!!!! blah! but yea... but i guess its all good... but im still tired... blah! so ya... boring boring day... but i found an AWESOME QUOTE.... i shall leave you with that... >>>>>>i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead, i lift my lids and all is born again, i think i made you up inside my head, the stars go waltzing out in blue and red, and arbitrary blackness gallops in, i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead ~Sylvia Plath~

RANDOM FUCKIN DAY!!! BLAAAAH! SAVE ME!!! *cries*....
hello journal... blah blah blah! omg im soooo scared of whats gonna happen to me!!!! *cries* so now im goin to South East Raleigh HS *blah!* but at least its not MOTHERFUCKINmiddlecreek!!!!! sooo ya.... today i slept till like noon.... go up fixed my room cuz it was all FUCKED... but now its rad... then we picked nicka up from work and OMG the breakdown i had! i have been crying for TWO FUCKIN DAYS! blah!!!! and then we got home one of nickis friends dies *frown* in a car accident and then the storm knocked the power out! so we went to the movies! and i wanted to see thomas but he wasnt fuckin home! sooo ya... VERY WEIRD EXHAUSTING DAY!!!!! and blah blah blah!!!! im sooooo scared.... someone help me! aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! *CRIES!!!!!* heeeeelp! someone save me! aaaaaah!!!! nothing more to say... *cries*..... "theres too much goin on but its calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion is that why they call me a sullen girl? SULLEN GIRL!" ~Fiona Apple~

bulimic.....
" each drags a drop of blood a grain, a minute of my life, its all i've got to stay down, why the FUCK an i still down?" ~ the UsEd~ blah... i hate me... "being half dead isnt what i planned to be, now im ready to be free" ~the UsEd~ i want to be free of me! im dieing again!!! someone save me! *cries*..... "theres too much goin on but its calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion".....

busy/relaxing day *oxy moron*... and a random RANT on society... =D
ok so today i went out with my mum *odd* we went to the bank then to k-mart *blah* but i got a fairy thing... its prettiful!... we came home i ran for like and hour... then i had to go help with yard work which im sooo not good at... then i was all nasty and dirty and BLAH... so i came in and took a shower... rested for a bit then ran some more.... and all of that was done by like 5:00pm... so then i read some... watched a movie with my sis and now im back online... and oh so bored.... and BLAH! the DRAMA in peoples poor meaningless consumer driven lives!!! oh the drama! they try and blame it on adolescence but i say its SOCIETY!!! but ya... i shall talk lata.... MUAH! byeee for now...

shifted sleepin again!....
hello blog.... today i woke up at 5am then went back to sleep then i woke up at 11am and now im awake... i gotta go to the bank and some other store with my mom... then i shall be back... i shall let you know how the day goes....

i *heart* incubus...
today was ok... i went to the mizall and spent lots of money... =/...grandma is rad... and i saw rocker! and i got a rocker hug! yay! i still fear he doesnt think of me as a friend *tear*... that also makes me think about ther other "friends" that i think do not think of me as a friend... (wow thats confusing)... but yea today was ok just not interesting...i pray for something interesting to happen (i almost crave it).... *tear*.... i have nothing more to say.... i leave you with quote! =D "these eyes R not ur eyes & these eyes R not the color that ur arid eyes might be! NO i wasnt around when these eyes of urs decidedso i refuse 2 kneel B4 the sights U choose 2 see" ~INcuBus~( I *HEART* INCUBUS!!!!!!!!!! )

i pray for something interesting to happen....
ok just got up like 20minutes ago.... took a shower and in like an hour im off to the mizall... perhaps today will be ok... maybe even fun, GREAT, Rad, nifty... something not boring and blah!!!!.... i shall let you know how the day goes....

boring and BLAH!!!....
ok today was sooooo boring..... and BLAH! i ate waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.... BLAH! *cries* i had the weirdest feeling tho... i felt full and EMPTY at the same time... WEIRD!!!!... but ya... i still have that overwhelming feeling of being hollow... and i just feel all BLAH! and *cries*.. i have nothing more to say.... today was boring and BLAH!... i leave you with a quote as usual.... "Darling, give me your absence tonight ,Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white, Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside, And don't bother leaving the light on, 'Cuz I suddenly feel like a different person, From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion, And I ran my hand over a strange inversion, A vacancy that just did not belong,The child is gone" ~ Fiona Apple~

back....
hello blog... im sorry i have not been able to write my computer was like FUCKED!!! sooo ya.... but its all good now and i shall update you on my FUCKED UP LIFE!!!! .... blah!

days like this i dont know what to do with myself....
ok... so its like 2:00 in the fuckin morning and i cant sleep cuz im crying too hard... and i keep looking at my beautiful scars... and i want to make more... because they seem to be the only beautiful part of my body... and BLAH! i always fool myself with lies of "never and always" but I FOOL MYSELF! so i am to blame! yep yep! ME! blame it on me! and *cries* i dont know... BLAH! *cries*....i have nothing more to say.. but fiona says it perfectly so i leave you with her... ... "days like these i dont know what to do with myself" ~fiona apple~