What's the definition of a Friend?
ahAhh... I feel so jealous of FJ's blog... so nice!!! Got pictures and links and nice headers...! Hahaha. Maybe I should change to blogspot cause Friendster blogs seem so hard to configure.. or perhaps I'm just cRappy at all this information technology!!!!

If you wanna visit FJ's blog, it's at schmucksite.blogspot.com ! This advertisement is of my own accord - her blog is interesting and she writes about everything under the sun - ranging from A-levels exam to people who suffer in silence. Really nice writing style too - and that woman has a much better vocab than me. (She scored 60% on sth that I got a miserable ZERO on!!!!)

This Sunday when Qian was leading singspiration, she sang the song "All that I am" :

All that I am, all that I have,
I lay them down before You, O Lord.
All my regrets, all my acclaim,
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours.

Lord, I offer my life to You.
Everything I've been through, use it for Your Glory.
Lord, I offer my days to You,
Lifting my praise to You, as a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life.

Things in the past, things yet unseen,
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true,
All of my hopes, all of my plans,
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

The line "All my regrets, all my acclaims, the joy and the pain, I'm making them yours" really moved me. I've heard this song so many times, but I only realized on Sunday how uplifting it can be to have a God who is willing to listen time and time again to our sorrows. I mean, seriously, isn't it wonderful to know that there is someone out there who WANTS to hear about your grief, and who will not judge you - yet that someone knows what is wrong and right, and He will guide you away from danger.

The other day I was talking to a friend and she said that she has problems with sharing because she is afraid of judgement. I guess it's very true - no matter how hard we try not to judge others, a little nano-sized part of our brain still insists on judging! Nobody listens to something without forming an opinion - it is just humanely impossible!!!!

I know when I am really, really upset, I like to go outside in my garden in a particular spot to just ponder and cry. Most of the time, Night (my sister's black labrador) and sometimes Xena (mum's Alsation) and Simba (my cute cute golden Labrador!!!!!!) will come and accompany me. Often, Night will try to cheer me up by giving me a sloppy lick on the face. (Haha, sooo cuteeee righttttt...). Somehow, even just after 5 minutes, I feel much better. I call it dog-therapy. They're not there to criticize, arbitrate or even advice. All they do is silently listen - and you know they won't let the cat out of the bag!!! Your secret is safe with them - and you always get an affectionate kiss at the end to cheer you up!

I know I try not to judge people on what they do, but sometimes it is just so hard! On the other hand, I think a little judgement is good so that the victim sees what he/she is doing. Sometimes we need a little knock-in-the-head cause we are just too blinded. I know someone who was willing to sleep with her ex just so that he'll come back to her. Only after an exasperated disaproval from her friend did she realize that that was a rather short-term (and silly?) solution! I mean, sex is not the only thing that would keep a relationship alive, right? You can't solve the emotional problems with sexual medication! Ah...here I go judging again!!!!

Anyway, this girl is not a weak personality. In fact, she is one of my most admirable friends and she often inspires me to be a better person. My point being - even the strongest of characters sometimes need a little nudge in the right direction. And if a nudge don't work, go ahead and push!!!! I believe being a friend doesn't just mean sharing the happy moments and tolerating each other's faults. If you really care for your friend, you'll risk hurting your friend so that he/she can see how wrong he/she is! Afterall, won't it be more hurtful to let your friend make an incredibly huge mistake?

High on pearl drink
So here we are, Sinthi and I, in the middle of the busy & hazy & just-flooded Kuala Lumpur, with aching shoulders on our "tea break" in front of the computer. Soooo...we decided to put away our "invoice files" and use our bleeding fingers (read on to find out...) to blog instead.

We both cut our fingers while filing. Those metal clips are lethal!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's tell you the jist of our conversations for the day.

We talked abt:
Men
The male body
The male mind
The male personality (in general)
Men's obsession with sex
Our obsession with men
Relationships - in general with men (though sometimes we digressed....)
How crappy men are at relationships
Why do men always think we fall for their stupid reasons just because we keep quiet??????

To conclude, we agreed that it was better to go to an island and become lesbians. (We reached this conclusion with the help of Foong Jin and Ramli burgers...)

OH!!! We recalled a famous poem at the same time too!!!

Boys are silly, boys are vain
Boys are mostly one big pain
But it's said that there are some
Boys excel at acting dumb

The pearl drink got us high and we laughed at practically every single thing.
We hope it was the pearl drink....

Of course we're not boy-crazy bimbos. We talked abt other stuff like...like....like...

Anyway, we have to get back to filing!

*sips pearl drink and giggles*

BY SINTHI & SELINA

Make Poverty History!
Hey you all...it's been so long since I updated my blog - and yes, I have had no inspiration to write anything although exams were over about a week ago. I realize my enthusiasm to write is rather sporadic and inconsistent - hmmm...so perhaps a career in writing is not something for me?

Anyway, for ONCE, the self-centered part of me has given in to the not-so-self-centered part of me and I've decided to write abt something outside of my life : African Poverty. I don't know about you guys, but it was not something I really cared or thought abt until recently - thanks to all the Live8 concert, TheOne Declaration, Make Poverty History campaign, etc, etc. I guess in my sheltered little world, Africa seemed so far away that it almost didn't exist.

The irony behind it is that I did go to Africa when I was 16. I know after returning from my trip to Zimbabwe & South Africa (although South Africa isn't really poverty stricken), I felt a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness for the life I lead. Too often we take for granted all the luxuries we enjoy and focus on the teeny-weeny bits that we miss out on. The fact that after I visited 2 countries in Africa - which, you can consider to be richer than the other ones in their continent - I felt moved.... what more if I had visited really poor nations such as Ghana and Ethiopia ???? And yet...a few months after my visit, I don't think I gave 2 hoots about Africa. I settled down back into my complacent life and my biggest worry (then!) shifted back to what many 16-year-old Malaysians were focused on - trying to understand Add Math. *Sigh*

These are certain memories that I have of my visit:

1. When we got down the tour bus, a swarm of men would encircle us to try and sell their goods which were mostly carved figurines (correct word?) from wood or stone. They would accept cash or goods in exchange for the figurines. I know that whenever I used the excuse "I'm a student, I don't have any money!", they would simply point to something that I had instead. (Which was often my shades or my cap!)

2. If any of your figurines were damaged, any of the men would be happy to fix it, whether it came from their "shop" (if you can call a carpet spread under the sun a 'shop') or not.

3. Victoria Falls was simply BEAUTIFUL!

4. On a lighter note, there was this African lady who walked around wearing just a bra and a piece of thread-like material on top - and yet none of the African guys seemed in the least interested!

Oh well, I know these distinct memories don't exactly potray poverty - but you have to be there to really understand it. But my experience is nothing to what I saw on TV when Chris Martin (from Coldplay) visited Ghana. I don't think an explanation of what I saw is half as good as watching it yourself - so go tune in to MTV whenever it's showing again. I've caught it a couple of times already!

So well...I did a little research on Africa and here are a few facts that caught my attention:

30 000 CHILDREN (not inclusive of adults!) die daily due to extreme poverty

The "The One Declaration" only asks the US government to increase it's budget for African Poverty equal to 1% of the whole US government budget. Seriously... if they can fund a war on Iraq...this must be peanuts..!

50% of the people in Sub-Saharan Africa survive on less than USD1.00 per day .. (and here I am complaining that my allowance is too little!)

In the poorer African countries, more money is spent on repaying debts than on education and health.

One in six children die before the age of 5

Of the 49 least developed countries in the world, 31 receive less aid today than they did in 1990

The annual dairy subsidy in the EU amounts to $913 per cow per year; EU’s aid to Africa is $8 per African per year.

I know it seems like we're helpless in this situation - there's not much the average Malaysian 20-year-old (damn...I can't use the word 'teen' anymore!!!) can do unless you have friends in high places. But there are a few things you can do (besides praying) that might push the leaders to taking this matter more seriously:

Sign the "The One Declaration" . Unlike what you may think, it is not only open to citizens of the USA. Visit http://one.viewpoint.com

Send your photo to the "Make Poverty History" campaign. They don't want your money - just your support! Visit http://www.makepovertyhistory.org

Learn more about the Live 8 Concert and what's it all about. Visit http://www.live8live.com

And if all else fails - just google "African Poverty" so that you're a little more aware about the plight of our African neighbours. :)

As one of the artists on MTV said (can't remember who lah..hehehe),
"If anyone thinks they're too small to make a difference, they better be smaller than a mosquito."

"It's like going up to President Bush and saying 'I know I've caught you at a bad time, but could I just have that twenty dollar bill?' "
- Daniel Beddingfield

I just don't get what the Force is all about...!
Ah! I am guessing my entry today will attract many comments from starwars fans. (Or maybe not since nobody who’s really a fan reads my blog.. :P Which allows me to be more honest!)

(Ooh, and pls do excuse me if I get some of my star-wars terminology wrong)

In a galaxy, far far away, I went to watch StarWars Episode III: Revenge of the Siths, with my sister. We were NOT blown away. We were dissatisfied. It was a sad movie, but what was more tragic was that most star-wars craEzy fans all over Malaysia refuse to accept this fact. No, let me take that back. Star-wars craEzy MALE fans all over Malaysia refuse to accept this fact. But to all those who are willing to listen, let me tell you why starwars 3 is an over-rated B-grade film.

First let me tell you about the anticipation I had to watch Starwars. I guess the fact that David is a hard-core fan somehow did get me excited, but Arvin’s testimony really did the trick. He had called all the way from UK (or so I heard from Foong Jin) to tell Rohan that Starwars was the best flick he had watched in ages. He claimed that "Revenge of the Siths (I shall call it ‘Siths’ for easy reference) touched on every emotion in the human soul and made you feel sad, happy, angry, upset, nostalgic, triumphant, (i.e. every sentiment the human heart can understand.)." I only felt one emotion after watching it: disappointed.

Firstly, the story is very simplistic and hardly plausible. In such a short time-span, Anakin is swayed from being an arrogant yet extremely ethical jedi to a power-hungry fanatical Sith who believes the council is jealous of his powers. For someone who comes across as extremely opinionated and principled, it is hardly believable that he would compromise his values simply to save his pregnant wife. (Do not get me started about how gross it is that he has a physical relationship with a woman who is a generation older than him!) Would someone raised a Jedi find that reason enough to commit Jedi genocide and kill younglings? That is stretching credibility just a little too far. Either that, or Anakin is simply a flake. He pretends to be convicted about his ideals, but runs the other way as soon as his emotions come into play. Seriously, Anakin Skywalker may be attractive, especially when he turns evil *swoons*, but the pathetic qualities of his character far outweigh his sex appeal.

Now let’s get started on Padme. (I know many of you will simply claim that I am jealous of Natalie Portman’s beauty. Although I know I am not, I will not attempt to convince you otherwise.) Queen Amidala – supposedly the revered Senator who knew Anakin while his hormones had not yet started raging – is another wretched character in the whole movie. For someone who is considerably older than Anakin, she is hardly mature and blinded to Anakin’s flaws until the very last minute. She believes in Anakin’s empty promises and refuses to try and mend the situation – although she suspects something is not quite right. Seriously, she was a SENATOR. A POLITICIAN. I mean, she is a respectable woman whom, I presume, is knowledgable and aware of the situation of the war. Are you seriously telling me that Padme had no idea about the internal conflicts of the republic and put complete trust in her dearest, arrogant Anakin? *sigh* Yet another weak personality. Is this why she has so much sex appeal? Because she plays a feeble character whom ignorantly puts faith in her man? Queen Amidala is hardly admirable to any respectable woman, but I guess this appeals to the Y-chromosome? Makes them feel all macho? (I am not a feminist, just in case you were wondering…)

Now we have the dialogues. Ohmygosh, those ridiculous dialogues. I am not complaining about Yoda’s incorrect grammar, but the overall lack of personality in the verbal communication. The words spoken by all characters were simplistic and unrealistic, making the conversations rather artificial and pretentious. I don’t quite know how to explain it– but perhaps this excerpt from a commentary might:

"In this heretic's opinion, Sith is a stiff, brought down by that special knack Lucas has of turning flesh-and-blood actors into cardboard cutouts. To hear Anakin and his pregnant wife, Senator Padme (the vivacious Natalie Portman rendered vacant), discuss their marriage -- a secret that could get Anakin defrocked as a Jedi -- is to redefine stilted for a new millennium. The minute any character -- human or droid -- opens a mouth to speak, your eyes glaze over. I kept thinking how much better Sith would play as a silent film, with only Chewbacca allowed to do his Wookiee growl and John Williams to trumpet his recycled score."

Stilted. That was the word I was looking for!

I think Stitled doesn’t just define the dialogues – but the whole movie as well.

I hope this article doesn’t step on any starwars fan’s toes. It’s just my opinion. I guess the force just isn’t with me?

Ego-boosting is just a phonecall away!
Okay, let me begin by saying I appreciate everyone’s comments and from now on my friends will not only be referred to as ‘x’ but also as ‘a’ ‘b’ ‘c’ etc. Lol.

Actually, today I have no real inspiration to write anything but I’m taking time-out to de-stress from my freaking exams! AAaaAHHhh…

A rhetorical question Andrew asked me at MPO:

Do we become nerds because we study A-levels or Do we study A-levels because we are nerds?

Hmmm…the case of the chicken and the egg… Lol. This is what A-levels does to you!

Ok ok. I will stop talking nonsensical crap and try and write something interesting. But it’s still gonna be crap, I reckon. I am in love with the word crap. It defines me.

*Thinks about what has happened recently*

Oh yeah. The other day I got a call from a long-lost friend whom I shall call A. Ok, actually he is not a long-lost friend, he is a friend who calls me sporadically out of the blue – usually when he’s between girls. I sometimes feel degraded to merely his “ego-booster”. Everytime another girl has let him down (of course it’s always the girl who lets him down. He never disappoints them…!), he dials my number for consolation. And for the next few weeks, I am haunted by numerous calls from him to simply “chat”. (okay, I will be honest…he doesn’t just call when a girl breaks his heart, he also calls when he’s down about anything else. But the bottom line stays the same – I’m just there to listen to his worries!)

Sometimes I really get irritated with A. We’ve been friends for about 6 years now, and he hardly knows anything about me. On the contrary, A is constantly reminding me that I am the best girl friend that he has ever had, and no other girl can know him like I do. (I actually do believe him when he says this, judging from how fast he goes through girls!) To him, girls can never be friends. They’re either dates, ex-girlfriends, girlfriends, future-dates or girls-out-of-my-league. They never seem to qualify as friends. I wonder how I ended up being his friend. *feels a pang of worry* (Shit! What’s wrong with me? Why am I the only girl who doesn’t turn A on???)

So what is it with these kind of guys? I am sure A is not the only one out there, and I am not the only girl who loyally listens to all the crap A-prototype guys have to dish out to us. The weird thing is, however irritated I am at him, I can’t seem to ever convey that I hate being his ego-booster! Everytime I am ready to launch into that lecture I have repeatedly practiced in my head (“A, I am really sick and tired of listening to all your problems when you never bother to be there for me…..”), he manages to mention something so attention-grabbing (damnit, does he see it coming?) that all my strength is focused on what he has to say. Then when I regain my priorities and start to work on that speech again, A has already jumped the gun and said goodbye – I am left confounded.

Of course I don’t just give up there! I have a lot more determination than that! After getting over my perplexed state-of-mind, I coach it to confidently give A a piece of my mind the next time he calls. That’s when the phonecalls stop. A has found another girl. It’ll be at least a month before his number flashes on my nokia 6230 again. And by then, my well-rehearsed speech would have turned into nothing but a hazy blur of words.

Yet, I have to admit, I enjoy talking to A. He’s funny and can talk a lot of crap (woohoo! Major point scored here!) , and he never fails to amuse me. Perhaps this is a barter trade? He entertains me while I mend his ego. A fair exchange, I reckon. But it would be a lot nicer if the phonecalls weren’t sporadic, and if he took a little interest in me. I mean, if I really am “the best girl friend” that he ever had, I should mean more to him than just a number to dial when he’s lonely, right?

Sweet don't get the ladies?
I know I should be studying right now, since I have my freaking mocks tomorrow…but still I’d rather waste time listening to “Tangled up in me” while writing crap. Aish, I am so full of crap. Seriously.

Anyway, today I was chatting to a friend who is online 24-7. Seriously, there’s never a time I come online when he’s not on, and he always “nudges”/msgs me – so it’s not that his computer is just running, he’s actually there! And he’s in uni, and in Australia, and even with the different timezones and the assignments (he claims that’s what uni’s all about!) - I still manage to catch him online E-VE-RY time! Seriously… some people are addicted!

Anyway, that’s besides the point. The point is, we had this conversation. He claimed that in relationships, the girls get the better end of the deal. Guys have to make the first move, guys have to pay for the dates (which is hardly the case nowadays, actually…!), guys have to “pop the big question” while all the girl does is sit down, relax and go “ini-mini-miney-mo!”. I admit, this is usually the scenario…only when the girl you’re chasing looks like Jennifer Lopez!

True enough, you do get those girls who have guys falling at their feet like flies. But guys, if you want to be one of those flies, you have to accept the circumstances. I mean, it’s a package deal. You want a hot chick? She comes with competition. When I tried to explain to my friend that perhaps he was chasing the wrong kinda girls, he claimed that he was the “sweet guy” who never gets the ladies. Oh my gosh. I beg to differ! No no no! Not that my friend ain’t sweet…but whatever it is about him that is repelling those girls he’s chasing after – it ain’t because he’s sweet! The last thing on earth that would send a girl running is a sweet guy!

Let me tell you about one of my good friends, let’s call her X. She’s been through quite a number of guys who’ve had the “accessories” – be it looks, cash, charm, etc. But now she’s seeing this guy who is totally different from her usual prototype. Seriously, when I met him, I was like “Whoah…what a swing!” And when asked how she fell for this guy, she simply said “He’s so sweet! Seriously. The guy is just so sweet. Among all the guys I’ve dated, I’ve never been more serious about a guy before.” I rest my case.

And the irony behind this… X used to date the net-addict. So really guys, if you think your sweetness ain’t bringing the ladies…it’s probably because you haven’t quite mastered the art of being sweet.

When Infatuation knocks on our door, do we grab it by the neck and say "I love you?"
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about relationships. She still hadn’t gotten over her ex – who claimed to simply have “lost interest” in the entire romance. The reason seemed harsh yet honest. Although I love my friend (Let’s call her X for easy reference, hehe!) and really feel her pain – and sometimes I wish I could just slap X’s ex (haha..that’s a tongue-twister!) for hurting her so much … I do understand X’s ex (let’s call him Y to avoid tongue forming into a knot!). I don’t blame him if he “lost interest” …he can’t really do anything about it, can he? We don’t choose who we fall in love with, and we can’t choose to stay in love either. (Or in-like. However you want to put it.)

But what is it with some of us that we just can’t stay focused! Why is it we can have a bestfriend for 10 years, and yet romance seems to sizzle out after a few months? Why is it when we’re away from home for a few days, we miss our smelly pillow that we sleep on day-in-day-out, and yet a few weeks away from our “other half” sometimes leaves us feeling disinterested? Why is it that it’s “out of sight, out of mind” instead of “distance makes the heart grow fonder” ?

I’m not a cynic when it comes to romance – really, I do believe there is love out there – my brother is a living testimony to it! (he married his first love, whom he’s been dating since he was 18! He tied the knot last year, aged 27!) But however much I wanna believe everyone’s love life is like a fairy-tale come true, most often I think we mistake infatuation, raging hormones and pretty clothes for Love. Perhaps it’s the way Hollywood - or Bollywood, has portrayed it. Somehow love needs to involve great sex (Thank you, Carrie Bradshaw!), Barry White singing in some uncontrollable-cerebral (medical students : sound oxymoronic? Hehe!) part of our brain (I quote Ally McBeal) and in most Hindi shows – a funeral, marriage or murder. Lol. Perhaps love is so simple – we almost seem to miss it?

I really don’t know what makes a relationship, and unfortunately, I lack experience too * sniff sniff* . I don’t know why some relationships seem to last eternity, while others are over within a blink of an eye. I don’t know why some people are over their ex as fast as Simon Cowell comes up with insults, while others moan and groan till the turn of the century before they’re ready to move on. Basically, I don’t know what that x-factor is. I hope I find it someday, though. Till then, I think I’ll just continue to mistake raging hormones and pretty-eyed boys for romance. :)