Writer’s Portfolio
The
role of the Industrial Revolution in Great Britain
One
day, my mom picked me up from school asked me if I wanted to get a pet. I said,
“Yea!” with great excitement. I thought pets were as exciting as amusement
park rides. We went to a pet store. I couldn’t wait! I loved learning new
things about animals and how they live. Pets always add adventure to your life.
I went
straight to the fish section and picked out a tiny crab and a crayfish. I put
them in a tank with two castles, fake algae, deep sea background design,
colored rocks and a filter. I showed my grandpa next time I saw him. On April
Fool’s Day, I woke up and saw the crayfish’s carcass,
or so I thought. I yelled, “Lobby is Dead!” In a few
seconds, everyone in our family was gathered around the tank. My Dad notice a tail behind one of the castles. It was Lobby! He
had molted!
One
night, I noticed the crab was climbing up the filter in the tank and was almost
to the top. The next morning, I noticed Crabby was missing a leg. Lobby was
holding it! It looked like Crabby had fallen off the filter and Lobby had
ripped off his leg. Crabby, still and lifeless, was lying dead on the
bottom of the tank. We removed Crabby and flushed him down the toilet.
Two
weeks later, we gave Lobby a new home in Bee Meadow Pond. I liked having pets.
The new things I learned and the adventures they had made life more exciting. I
hope my next pet will be a snake.
“Where
were you last night?”, My mom asked me as I walked in
the door late last night. “I was lighting fireworks”, I said. She spoke with a
hint of relief in her voice. “Go to bed and have sweet dreams.” I got upstairs,
brushed my teeth and went to bed. As I was about to doze off I felt smooth
scaly skin brush against my feet. I jumped out of bed, wrapped in the sheets
and fell to the floor with a sudden thud! I untangled myself as I scurried to
turn on the lights. I looked around and realized that Bottle Rocket my Pet
snake was missing from his corner. I leaned against the wall and sunk down
laughing to myself. Finally, I shook open my sheets. Something fell to the
floor. Sure enough, there was bottle rocket!
I have
a pet snake named Bottle Rocket. He is a South African Demon Snake. Bottle
Rocket is skinny, brown, scaly, long body looks like a garden hose. He is 3
feet 3inches. He feels smooth and light when I hold him. Sometimes he
pokes his triangular head up a few inches off the
ground and slides his pointed tongue out to sense the air. I think it is
cool. I think snakes make the best pets because they are easy to take
care of. They are very interesting animals. Plus they fit in your pocket.
Taking
care of bottle rocket is fun. I feed him dead, frozen, fresh, or store brought, mice. Bottle Rocket lives in my room. I filled his
corner with sand, sticks, a tree branch and rocks. A window next to him lets
him get sun. I like to watch him. He moves around the sand, basks in the
sun, and attacks his toy mouse. Bottle Rocket slithers sideways, slides
stealthily and sinks under the sand in his corner. He likes to climb up the
tree branch and sleep.
Bottle
Rocket is an interesting pet because he taught me about desert animals. I
learned to respect how animals serve as food for each other in the food chain.
It’s interesting to see how they use their senses like their tongue to pick up
information when they are hunting and how their bodies pick up vibrations from
the ground. When they hunt, they sense with their tongue, silently lunge,
bite their prey until it’s lifeless and swallow it
whole.
I like
snakes for pets. They are easy to care for. When you go on vacation you don’t
have to have someone walk them or play with them. They teach you about other
life forms. You can see the food chain at work. They can be a lot of fun. I recommend , shimmering, scaly, shiny, smooth,
snakes as pets.
Hello
my name is Jack. I just graduated from my South Carolina elementary school,
Rock Ridge Point. Now I'm running as fast as I can because most of my school
teachers are chasing me. A little accident just occurred. Well, maybe a medium
accident. Fine, a Huge Accident! Let me tell you about it from the beginning.
We were all in the cafeteria making our long-awaited graduation cake. The whole
class had looked forward to it all year long. At first, everything was going
fine until that stupid, red-haired, mischievous Fred tripped me.
I fell right into the middle of our graduation cake! He thought it was
hilarious but I didn't. I plotted my revenge all day. Every time someone shot
me a dirty look (which was about once a second) I saw red and got a burst of
anger, but that only made me scheme harder.
My plan was simple. I was going to get
a bucket of water and set it on the cat walk before graduation. When I pulled a
string it would dump all over Fred in front of the whole school. It would be my
turn to laugh in his face but, things don’t always turn out the way you plan.
This didn’t turn out the way I planned. As he approached the stage, a little
voice in my head said, “Should I do this?” I quietly reassured myself. I
couldn’t help it, I had to pull the string! As I did,
I noticed that our beloved, humorous, spontaneous teacher Mr. Autumn had
took the stage and was announcing he was retiring. I didn’t know what to do.
The water was falling as I stood helplessly by with a horrified expression
fixed on my face. Clank the bucket smashed into his head and soaked his tuxedo.
Yells of horror filled the air. “Look over there, it
was Jack that tried to kill Mr. Autumn!” I couldn’t say anything. I looked
around and darted towards the open door.
I was almost caught by our principal,
but I slid out the door. I started running and now I’m here. I don’t know what
I’ll do next, though. Hey, wait, I have an idea. My parents work, and school
ends in five minutes. So I just got in the door and locked the doors. I suppose
I’ll wait until my parents get home to tell them. Wait, I don’t have to, today
was the last day of school. I’m free!
My family and I, then 3 years old,
attended the Memorial Day parade in Whippany. The parade traveled down Whippany
Road to Parsippany Road to Mount Pleasant Ave.
Lucent sits near Eden Lane where the
old paper mill can still be seen. (4) The old Whippany paper mill reigns as the
largest eyesore in this town because it is ugly and old and half torn down. I
think that the paper mill’s useless comes from it
being wrecked and full of rats. It might be useful to a hobo who could sleep in
it. I think a land developer would love to put houses or offices there.
Lucent, on Whippany Road, is up the
road from the Whippany train station located where Route 10 and Whippany Road
come together. (5) I think that the Whippany train station needs to be
repaired. I would make the train station, now used as a visitor center, look
newer and bigger. I would renovate it with more historical pictures of the area
on the inside walls. I would put an artistic sign out front. You hardly notice
there’s a museum there. I would put picnic tables and benches around.
We went to the parade about a half
hour early. Rain from the night before made the morning overcast morning so not
many people lined up on the street to watch the parade. The air felt
damp. Waiting for the parade with excitement, we played on the
huge lawn in front of Lucent.
Tiring from running, we decided
to sit on a blanket and have drinks while waiting. While we waited for the
parade to start, a newspaper man approached us and started talking to us. He
asked if he could take our picture and we said yes. We could hear the
loud drums of the band approaching. We could see the antique cars
leading the parade approaching. The parade finally reached us. We
watched the parade and went home for a cookout. Our hunger, made the hot
dogs smell great! The toasted marshmallows tasted delicious!
Running, yelling, the next
morning, my Dad entered the house after retrieving the paper from the front
yard. “Come. Look!” he yelled. Our picture appeared on the front page
of the Star Ledger. The picture showed me standing, holding an American flag.
My family appeared in the picture too. We made the front page of the paper! How
exciting!
I will always remember my mom and dad taking
me hiking at High Point. It was a family outing with my brothers and sister. Planning,
my siblings and I would pack for our adventure. On the way there, we
would stop at Dairy Queen for great hotdogs, ice cream, French fries and every
other kind of fast food. The food
tasted great. We ate a lot so we’d have energy to climb the monument.
Next, we’d
travel to High Point State Park. It’s in northern New Jersey. A monument is
built on New Jersey’s highest elevated spot. The monument has stairs to the top
with a viewing area on top. Currently, the monument is closed for renovation.
After parking, we would have to climb a steep hill to the base of the monument.
Sometimes, if I was tired, my dad would carry me on his shoulders. Giggling, I found this amusing to be
taller then everyone else. I was much smaller then. Being on his
shoulders was so much fun. It was like
being on top of the world.
After we got to the top of the hill,
we’d run around the base of the monument for a few minutes before entering. Laughing,
yelling, running, my siblings and I would quickly go up the stairs to the top
of the monument. There was a small spiral staircase to the first
landing. The iron staircase railing felt cold and hard. Then stairs attached to the four rectangular
walls began. There is an awesome view
from the top. You can see three states, Pennsylvania, New York and New
Jersey. The air smells
very fresh up that high. You can
hear the wind whistling through the high narrow windows.
(10) We’d
return home, happy to be there unless our rude, uncaring neighbors had their
dog out. The dog was always allowed to be untied. He had bitten his own family
members a few times and would chase us. One day, our neighbors got their dog
and sent him into our yard while we were playing on our swings. They did this
just to be mean! Their dog would leave messes in our yard. Their dog barks a
lot for hours in the middle of the night. It’s very disturbing. We’ve asked
them many times too be considerate, but they still aren’t.
Usually,
it was great to be home. I will always love the memory of my parents taking me
there.
Grandpa
and I went fishing
We cast
out our lines
Hoping to
catch a large fish
We each
got our wish that day
Hackey sack with Tom
Staying up talking all night
Playing chess with John
Cookouts
in the summer time
Things
I like to do at home
The development of the steam engine the biggest factor in
the Industrial Revolution. This greatly increased the output
of the factories and created rapid industrial growth. Coal replaced wood for
fuel. Steam engines were used in coal mines to drain water and raise coal from
the mines so much more coal was available.
Inventions
like the spinning jenny and the fly shuttle made tremendous increases in output
in the cotton textile industry.
Today, British factories find it hard to
compete. Natural resources are limited.
I
like my story, “My Best Birthday”. It shows how excited I was. In this paper, I
showed the reader the joy of a little kid’s birthday that comes from the excitement
of surprises. I would like to improve this story by adding more information. I
would like to make it longer and more detailed. I like how I started the story
as a flashback. I would improve my use of similes and metaphors to give the
reader visual images as he reads. I would use more of them to describe the
scenes. It would be good to try having more people speak in first person in the
story so the reader would really feel like he was there. I feel this was a good
story.
I like my
story, “Truth or Dare”. The story describes an exciting adventure. I like the
way the alliterations sound, for example, “The smooth, shiny, small snake slithered slowly within three
feet of our feet”, and “One warm, wet, windy spring day”.
I think this is a good story because
it makes me think of playing in the woods with my friends. I find it easier to
write stories about things I like doing, so this story was fun to write and did
not give me any problems. I like that I can make things up and use my imagination
when writing and didn’t have to stick to facts.
I think the best part is when I catch
the snake and throw it, “ I caught the snake, picked
it up, swung like a windmill to my side, and flung it as far as I could. It
landed with a splash about 40 feet away. I watched it way out in the water. It
twitched, splashed violently, stopped twitching, disappeared into the water and
swam quickly away.” My friends liked this story.
I like my story, “Parents Story”. This story was fun
to write because it made me remember all the fun times I had going to
The hard part of this story was adding
in a
The best
part of the story is where I describe what it was like climbing the monument.
“Laughing,
yelling, running, my siblings and I would quickly go up the stairs to the top
of the monument. There was a small spiral staircase to the first landing. The
iron staircase railing felt cold and hard.
Then stairs attached to the four rectangular walls began. There is an awesome view from the top. You
can see three states,
Brian
Gillis
12
Nemic Lane
Attn: Beth Troop,
manuscript coordinator
Highlights for Children
Ms. Troop,
I am enclosing my story, Truth or Dare. Please consider it
for publication. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Brian
Gillis
One warm, wet, windy spring day, I explored behind Bee
Meadow pond with my friends. We came upon a frightening copperhead snake in our
path and froze in our tracks. This encounter led to a challenge of courage
between us.
The smooth, shiny, small snake slithered slowly within
three feet of our feet. The copperhead had a broad, triangular head with
vertically elliptical pupils. It looked like a grayish brown fire hose that was
striped with reddish brown cross bands. It slipped it’s
tongue out to sense the air. It displayed its huge fangs trying to intimidate
us. Scared, but trying not to show it, we stood motionless.
One of us said, “How about we all chip in $5 dollars. The
person who catches it gets $15! Someone else said, “I dare them to throw the
snake!“ We all dove at it at once. I caught the snake,
picked it up, swung like a windmill to my side, and flung it as far as I could.
It landed with a splash about 40 feet away. I watched it way out in the water.
It twitched, splashed violently, stopped twitching, disappeared into the water
and swam quickly away.
When I thought about that snake as I was lying in my bad
that night trying to sleep, I thought what if it bit me or anyone of us. Now I think, what a very stupid thing to do but I did make $15 out
of it. What a very extraordinary day!
Brian
Gillis
12
Nemic Lane
Attn: Beth Troop,
manuscript coordinator
Highlights for Children
Ms. Troop,
I am enclosing my story, Parents Story. Please consider it
for publication. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Brian
Gillis
I will always remember my mom and dad taking
me hiking at
Next, we’d
travel to
After we got to the top of the hill,
we’d run around the base of the monument for a few minutes before entering.
Laughing, yelling, running, my siblings and I would quickly go up the stairs to
the top of the monument. There was a small spiral staircase to the first
landing. The iron staircase railing felt cold and hard. Then stairs attached to the four rectangular
walls began. There is an awesome view
from the top. You can see three states,
We’d
return home, happy to be there unless our rude, uncaring neighbors had their
dog out. The dog was always allowed to be untied. He had bitten his own family
members a few times and would chase us. One day, our neighbors got their dog
and sent him into our yard while we were playing on our swings. They did this
just to be mean! Their dog would leave messes in our yard. Their dog barks a
lot for hours in the middle of the night. It’s very disturbing. We’ve asked
them many times too be considerate, but they still aren’t.
Usually,
it was great to be home. I will always love the memory of my parents taking me
there.
I think good writing uses words to paint a picture or describe actions so
that the reader’s mind can easily and clearly picture was is happening.
The words also create a feeling for the reader about what is going on or being
described. Good writing describes things in interesting ways.
In my
story, Truth or Dare, you can easily picture the snake we encountered when you
read this description: “The smooth, shiny, small snake slithered slowly
within three feet of our feet. The copperhead had a broad, triangular head with
vertically elliptical pupils. It looked like a grayish brown fire hose that was
striped with reddish brown cross bands.”
This story
goes on to describe the feeling of fear and terror the snake gave us, “It
slipped its tongue out to sense the air. It displayed its huge fangs trying to
intimidate us. Scared, but trying not to show it, we stood motionless.”
In my
story, Pets, I describe my pet snake, Bottle Rocket. “Taking care of bottle rocket is
fun. I feed him dead, frozen, fresh, or store brought,
mice. Bottle Rocket lives in my room. I filled his corner with sand, sticks, a
tree branch and rocks. A window next to him lets him get sun. I like to watch
him. He moves around the sand, basks in the sun, and attacks his toy
mouse. Bottle Rocket slithers sideways, slides stealthily and sinks under
the sand in his corner. He likes to climb up the tree branch and sleep.” When
you read that, you can easily picture what Bottle Rocket looks like. You also
get an idea of what it is like to watch him. You get a clear idea of all the
things he does.
In, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams describes a spaceship like this: “The craft they were looking at was in fact pretty small but extraordinary, and very much a rich kid’s toy. It was not much to look at. It resembled nothing so much as a paper dart about twenty feet long made of thin but tough metal foil. At the rear end was a small horizontal two-man cockpit. It had a tiny charm-drive engine, which was not capable of moving it at any great speed. The thing it did have, however, was a heat-sink.”
“The
heat-sink had a mass of some two thousand billion tons and was contained within
a black hole mounted in an electromagnetic field situated halfway along the
length of the ship, and this heat-sink enabled the craft to be maneuvered to
within a few miles of a yellow sun, there to catch and ride the solar flares
that burst out from its surface.”
This
writing gives the reader a very clear picture of what this spacecraft looks like.
You also get a feeling of the fun and excitement you could have riding solar
flares. You can easily and clearly picture this in your mind when you read
these words. The adjectives and detailed descriptions are good writing.
My writing
has improved because now I can describe things in more detail. I improved at
using adjectives and describing more details in a scene than I would have
before. I also learned to describe information you get from your sense other
than sight.
In the beginning of the year in “My
First Love”, I wrote, “I went straight to the fish section and picked out a
tiny crab and a crayfish. I put them in a tank with two castles, fake algae,
deep sea background design, colored rocks and a filter.” I did not describe my
pet crab or crayfish in a way that would let the reader picture them clearly.
In “Pets”, I describe my pet, Bottle Rocket, in great detail. “I have a pet snake named Bottle Rocket. He is a South African Demon Snake. Bottle Rocket is skinny, brown, scaly, long body looks like a garden hose. He is 3 feet 3inches. He feels smooth and light when I hold him. Sometimes he pokes his triangular head up a few inches off the ground and slides his pointed tongue out to sense the air. I think it is cool. I think snakes make the best pets because they are easy to take care of. They are very interesting animals. Plus they fit in your pocket.
From these words you can get really get a felling of how I feel about the snake.
In “Parents Story”, I wrote:
“There is an awesome view from the top. You can see three states,
From these
words you get information about senses other than sight.
I liked
writing the stories, but there was too much homework. I did not like mailing
stories to publishers. I think that should be optional.
