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believed that I had to give my kids some spiritual direction. They were so young when we started to pray the holy rosary as a family. Andrew could barely speak, but he would say his own decade. I love to hear him the most because he was so young and his words were so beautiful. We would pray at the same time every day. Sometimes we would go outside and pray. I wanted them to have God in their lives. I wanted them to love God and to serve God. I felt that I was in charge of their spiritual up bringing. Who else? I would spend time with God alone and I loved my relationship with Him. There were times when my life was so filled with the Holy Sprit I was sure that I would burst with joy. Prayer came out so easily, and I would speak to God as if I was speaking to a friend. My heart was open and always ready to love Him. Then, one day, I made a terrible mistake. I let my pride get the best of me, though I didn't know it at the time, but I felt that God and I were inseparable. I was called by Him and nothing could separate us. I was kneeling before my God in total arrogance, though I knew it not. I trusted my own strength over the Grace of God and I prayed, "God test me, that you may see my love for you, so you may see that my love for you will stand against all temptations." It was my pride talking, at the time I did not realize that it was by God's grace alone that made my heart on fire for him.. It was the Holy Spirit that was with me that helped me pray. I thought it was all in me; my strength. I was wrong, very wrong. I failed the test and this is my story.
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It all begin with a community newspaper the ad read; Karate for Everyone Ages 5-70. I had always been interested in the martial arts. I told my husband about the class and he encouraged me to join it would be good for me to have some time away from the house and kids. I was a stay at home mom, I home schooled my kids and any free time was spent on renovating our house. Being home day in and ay out was making me feel old and frumpy and I didn't like it, this karate class was the perfect outlet and with my husband being supportive I joined. It was a Thursday evening when I walked into the dojo. The place was filled with adults in white karate uniforms and belts of different colors. I registered for class and was told to line up. I took my place in the back with the other new students. My heart was beating fast from fear and excitement. The instructor took his place in front of the class and started the work-out. He was a young instructor only 29 years old. He stood around six feet tall, tanned and with sparkling blue eyes. His hair passed his shoulder, dark brown almost black and wavy. He would talk to his front line; the brown belts. Most of them females and he carried quiet conversations with them. Between their quiet conversations and loud laughter those of us in the back would hear a command, "Increase your stretch." It was hard not to notice that the brown belt females were very attentive to Mr. Smith. It was hard to concentrate in class when they were in their flirty-giggly mode. I kept to myself and concentrated on my karate. I didn't join alone, my sister and her best friend, my sister in law and my mother in law all joined together. My personal goal was to get in shape and spend time with my family.
Rumors began to fly around about Mr Smyth having an affair with several of the women in karate. When was this happening? I never saw anything, but the murmurs went on for a long time. I did notice that some women had quit karate, but had not put the two incidents together. It was at that time that I learned that Mr. Smyth was married and had children. I didn't give much credence to what was being said around our class, but one of the accused women was crying hysterically after class and as I passed by she said, "I don't give a fuck what she thinks. She had no right calling me and accusing me of sleeping with her husband." My ears perked up and I looked at this dwarf of a woman and thought, "Oh my god, he'll fuck anything." I was totally disgusted by him and the whole organization, but I had invested time and money and I was not about to quit. I decide to go to another class instead.
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