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1337

Nana

By Stephanie Jones

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Like an almond,

all prickled and pruned,

you make me smile through the hardships and dew.

 

Like an almond,

that savors its taste,

you become something

from nothing,

 

I wonder how my life would be without you,

then I remember there would be no shopping no you.

 

My old little almond,

you make me feel blue,

and then pick up my spirits speedier than you can say phew.

 

Keen as you are,

I laugh like a nut,

at all you're silly little games which make us all fret,

but in the end we love you with regret!

 

my silly little almond

which makes us all nuts

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I got an E-mail today that I thought was really funny.

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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

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8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am -OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - oooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

 

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EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

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DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. the only thing that keeps me from going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. in an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. the bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.....

My moms office was POUNDED by a Freak storm, it was hit BAD, The AC units on the roof got ripped off in the 60+mph winds and came crashing down on the building, Most of the Files were saved, Leather chairs were destroyed along with a laptop.