“Hahahahahaha!” Alex wasn’t exactly sure what was so funny, but then again, after so much alcohol she wasn’t sure of much. She eventually found the key to her brand new flat at the bottom of her bag and she and her flatmate and fellow Fame Academy finalist Carolynne stumbled inside, still giggling madly. Feeling rather dizzy, Alex managed to blindly drag herself into her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed, falling asleep immediately.

***

A shaft of late morning sunlight streamed through the bedroom curtains, pulling Alex from the depths of sleep. Her head felt terrible after the copious amounts of alcohol she’d drunk the previous night. The sunlight was bright outside, so she knew that opening her eyes would be far too painful, and instead kept them tightly shut and tried to remember what she’d done the night before. The start of the evening was fairly clear in her mind – she’d gone out to a party with Carolynne to celebrate their moving in together – but by the end she’d been so plastered she could barely stand, let alone take in what she’d done. Oh well, she thought to herself, that probably means it was a good night.

She lay there on her back for a while, too tired to think about much. As she lay in silence, she slowly started to sense that she wasn’t alone in her bed. She could just hear faint breathing under her own, and, concentrating hard, she dimly began to realise that there was a light pressure on her right arm. Alex took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes, almost dreading turning her head to see who was lying beside her. Silently, she reprimanded herself for getting so drunk she couldn’t even recall coming home with someone. How could she be so stupid?

When she finally persuaded herself to turn her head, her heart leapt. Carolynne. It was just her flatmate, and as they were both fully clothed, it was unlikely anything untoward had happened. Which was a good thing, of course, she tried to tell herself. No longer panicky, she relaxed and lay there for a while, watching the girl next to her sleeping. Her normally immaculate raven locks were slightly tousled, framing her pale face that wore an innocent, trusting expression. Despite the previous night’s heavy drinking, she looked at beautiful as ever. Alex sighed longingly. She loved being Carolynne’s friend, but she couldn’t deny that she wished their relationship went further than that. She couldn’t take her eyes off her, yet every time she gazed at that face, it broke her heart a little; no matter how close they were, she knew that Carolynne could never fully reciprocate her feelings. Alex knew she was wasting her time – Carolynne was straight, she knew that, there was no point in lusting after her – but she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t just turn those feelings off, no matter how hard she tried.

Minutes passed, and Alex stayed still. She could never just look at Carolynne when she was awake, and now she had the opportunity, she didn’t want the moment to end. Inevitably, though, it did – Carolynne’s eyes fluttered open, causing Alex to feel a rush of guilt as though she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. she thought Carolynne would be angry and confused to find them lying on the same bed, so when she simply murmured, “Morning,” with a half smile, Alex was somewhat taken aback.

“Morning,” Alex replied, a little fearfully. She immediately launched into a long explanation of the situation. “I don’t know why we’re both lying here, I guess we got sort of drunk last night, I mean I don’t remember exactly what happened, I don’t remember coming home so I don’t think anything –”

“Alex, you’re gabbling,” smiled Carolynne looking amused. “I’d already figured out that that had happened last night,” she finished softly.

“Oh,” replied Alex, and they both fell silent.

They had been lying there for a while when it suddenly struck Alex that Carolynne’s hand was still lying on her arm. As if she was reading Alex’s mind, Carolynne suddenly moved her hand away, making Alex stir. Alex turned her head to look at the girl next to her, to find Carolynne looking back at her. Their eyes met. It was often difficult to read Carolynne’s expression, but this time Alex was nearly certain she could see her looking at her almost longingly. Emboldened by what she thought she could sense, Alex closed her eyes and fleetingly place a kiss on Carolynne’s full, red lips.

Feeling stupid, she pulled away almost instantly and found Carolynne staring back at her, wide-eyed. Alex immediately regretted her actions, and launched into an apologetic speech.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, what was I thinking, you must hate me, I’m so stupid, forgive me-”

“Alex, you’re gabbling again.” This time Carolynne looked confused rather than amused. “I-I don’t hate you. Not at all. And… well, in fact, I didn’t really mind you doing that.” She blushed and looked away. Alex could only stare incredulously.

“What? But… I mean… what?” she stuttered, completely nonplussed.

Carolynne blushed again, and replied in a slightly shaky voice, “I don’t really know what I’m feeling, to be honest. I don’t know… well, I mean… this is the first time…” She took a deep breath. “You’re a girl,” she finished lamely.

“Carolynne, it’s okay,” said Alex in what she hoped was a soothing voice, “we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“No, but that’s just it – I do want to.”

“Oh.” Alex stared back at Carolynne for a moment, then closed her eyes and, for the second time that morning, kissed her. This time though, Alex didn’t pull away again, but opened her mouth a little as Carolynne leaned in closer to her. Alex tentatively moved her tongue into Carolynne’s mouth, caressing Carolynne’s tongue with her own as she pressed her body ever closer against Carolynne’s.

For weeks now she’d imagined kissing Carolynne, but now she actually finally was, she could barely believe it. A small, detached part of her marvelled at the situation; Carolynne had always seemed so depressingly unattainable, yet here she was, lying in her arms, kissing her back so very enthusiastically. This was the only thing she’d ever wanted, or so it seemed, and as she lay there kissing Carolynne, the only thing in the world that mattered was that she was here, with Carolynne, and that the kiss didn’t end.

Carolynne shifted slightly under Alex, and playfully began to run her hands up and down Alex’s back, sending shivers down her spine. Carolynne gradually broke the kiss, before starting to gently kiss Alex’s neck. Eventually she fell still, and once again they lay in silence, this time without any feeling of awkwardness between them.

Alex lay there, breathing deeply, unable to quite take in what had happened. She’d fantasised about this, but the actual thing had been infinitely better than those ridiculous fantasies (not that they were ridiculous, she thought to herself) because this was actually real. She turned once more to look at Carolynne, smiled, and leaned in to kiss her yet again.