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ChatWar

The Rulebook for Verbal Internet Fighting

 

 

 

                              I.           Never speak in caps (Uppercase Letters) in any conversation unless using it to highlight a particular word. And especially do not use it while engaged in a verbal battle considering it takes up lots of screen space and looks very annoying not to mention making the person using it to appear to have an IQ of 1.5.

                           II.           It is not a good Idea to use insults that disrespect someone’s mother (Momma Jokes) because everyone has heard them and the only people that haven’t heard them is kids from elementary school. So if you’re trying to fend off a 12 year old it might work but otherwise don’t even bother with them and use something better.

                        III.         When engaged in a chat battle leaving or muting (making their text unavailable to see) means you cannot handle what the other person has to say to you and you cannot take it anymore therefore you are defeated. The only reason that these actions would be acceptable is if the other person is spamming a lot to you or is a complete idiot but you must have backup on this from other people who agree this person is an idiot otherwise you still lose.

                        IV.          One thing you never do to combat someone is to spam one word or a sentence over and over again and especially not to the point that no one else can speak, this is considered n00bish to the extreme and won’t be tolerated by anyone and if you do this you are a moron.

                           V.          Use of two or three word phrases like “ur gay” “ur a fag”, “ur emo”, “u suck”, “ur mom” is a instant indication that you have no skill to fight back whatsoever and you will certainly lose whatever battle you start so it is best to come up with an actual insult or just log off and don’t come back on for a while.

                        VI.          When in battle always come up with a new statement each time you talk that is more witty than the last or uses what the person said to you and twist it to hurt them way worse this will help you win most fights. Also keep things fresh and your material new and don’t reuse the same statement over and over again, you got to change with the fight and keep things so that you come out on top.

                     VII.          If you’re losing a battle and want to save some face just keep your guard up and don’t totally fold but slow things down to where you both give up and there is no real winner.

 

 

 

 

These are the rules of verbal internet battle that most people would have to agree with totally all of which I have experienced first hand since April 20, 2002 and continue to see on August 16, 2006.

 

Signed into effect August 16, 2006 by Philip Brake  (Aka. AIE-Enduros, your daddy)