Pause
It's funny how things turn out. I decided to try something different and unique this week: I spent time with myself. It seems silly because everybody knows more about themselves than anyone else. I, on the other hand, just go through the motions. It's a lot simpler and I don't have to think.
I guess that's not how people start their first columns so I guess I should give my name. My name is Diego, I'm a freshman at Arkansas State University, and I don't want the house with the white picket fence. I just want to be happy.
Going back to what I said, I learned a lot about myself. First, I learned you learn a lot when you refuse to leave your room. I got a lot of homework done, discovered a new song (I think the group is called Dogstar), and have a Tuesday Night lineup now. Cool. Because I stayed in, I realize how important homework was. It's not much, but a little higher than it was to me.
Second, I thought about something I hadn't thought about in a long time: my bisexuality. I've come to terms with it two years ago, but lately, I just don't have that same flame I had for s. Yeah, I love guys better, but I always had some attraction to s. Now none seem to interest me. So naturally, the question comes up: am I even attracted to s anymore? And the answer is...yeah. It's just I would like to have a boyfriend right now. What can I say? I like having s as friends, but give me a good guy anytime!
Which brings us to (if you're still reading this) my third observation: me as a person. What do I want out of life? I want to be a writer, have a boyfriend, and be happy. Naive thoughts, but hey, a person can dream.
After reviewing these three thoughts, I realized I haven't done enough to make these things happen. I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not a writer. I'm not even happy. So I thought it was time to put on the brakes. So I did.
I'm finishing a story right now that I hope will be published someday. I still don't have a boyfriend, but I'm definitely looking. As for being happy, I'm trying. I don't feel like crap so that's a start. I'm a little (okay, a lot) insecure with my body, but I'm starting to go to the gym again to tone up my body.
Well, I think I said enough. The point to all this: take a breather from time to time. You'll be surprised (I sure was.).
Ciao, chicos and chicas,
Diego
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