OVER? PART 2: HATE AND HEALING

I stormed into work. Everyone saw the extremely pissed look on my face and knew something was wrong. I had just found out John was seeing and fucking this guy who was called The Kid. A week ago, we had just had a falling out and now...this?

Did I hurt him so badly (even though it was an accident) that he felt the had to do this? Needless to say, work sucked.

CATFIGHT ANYONE? (OR ROUND 1)

I was at the club on a Sunday. There was a competition going on. As a result, every gay men within the state (and a lot from out of it) were in town. I sat at the bar, getting drunk. I could not care much for the visitors. It wasn't my focus.

John was running around helping the contestants so I did not see him much. However, I saw Derek and we hanged around the door. And in that moment I saw the Kid.

I have never seen the Kid face to face. What gave him away was his out-of-placeness. He looked like a ten year old in his little long sleeve shirt with his care bear backpack. He was also with John's best friend. I saw this and I saw red.

So I did what any drunk diva would do...I walked up to them and struck a conversation. The whole time my eyes focused on him, waiting to hear his name. It never came. Finally, I asked him. It was who I thought it was. My hand started to ball into a fist, getting ready to break his nose.

"Hey!"

My face lit up into a fake smile. John stood on the other side of the Kid. He asked how I was. I said I was fine and left.

I guess in hindsight, the Kid was an innocent bystander. A pawn in a game between two stubborn men. Because when everything was said and done, he was shattered.

HIS PAWN: THE KID

I've always...whether sober or drunk...remember faces. Names are hard. Faces though I can.

So when the Kid showed up at my job at the deli, I was not happy. His attempt at a piercing stare met my 'fuck-off' one. Eventually, I let someone else deal with him. Where does he get off coming into my work?

Over the next few weeks, I would deal with harassing calls. I knew who it was. Then he moved in with John. That was amusing. Finally, I heard about a stripping incident at one of the club (you know it's bad when your friend tracks you down and tell you while you're at work).

In true John form, He was over the Kid in a month. Of course, it took him two months to get rid of him. It took two weeks for the Kid to get on John's bad side.

THE TALK

During most of this drama, I kept busy. I went to work. Did the school thing. Wrote a little.

My friend Cor telling me about the stripping incident bugged me. At least when John was around me, he was not being a slut. It also seem that he had gotten over me.

So I decided to finally let go of him, too. In order to do that, I needed to face my own feelings about what happened that one Saturday. I needed to hear him say there was no chance for us.

In true Diego from, I could only get him on a cell phone. And we talked for two hours.

What it boiled down to was that he said there was no way we would get back together. I wanted more than he was willing to give. He was now claiming it was only sex. I told him I wasn't over him, but thanks for talking to me. Now I had closure.

Then he started to flirt with me.

?

Anyway, I joked for a little while and hanged up. I was happy and sad. Happy because I could finally move on. Sad because I would be moving on without him.

MY PAWN: THE LAWYER

If at first you don't succeed...

It was at this point I started to test the waters. I went to the club a little more. I flirted a little more. I slept around a little.

One night I was out at the club and drunk. I headed off the dance floor in a group of tired dancers. Other people headed onto it. Among these guys was the Lawyer.

The Lawyer was a guy I met at a party I was at some time ago. I was too busy playing support-o friend for Glenn who was real drunk. I didn't really notice that he was flirting with me.

I smiled when I saw him. While I had been busy, we had a great conversation. I talked to him for a while. I told him we would talk later.

I headed for another room. There was John sitting near the door. He was just as drunk as I was. He also wasn't going to let me go into the next room without talking to him.

And the first words out of his mouth?

"Don't avoid me."

"What?" I said faking innocence. The truth was I had seen him, but I was making a conscious attempt to stay away from him.

"I know you're avoiding me," John said. "Don't."

I deflected the accusation by pointing out he had a beard. It was something he could never seem to grow when we were together. The distraction (along with more people showing up) worked, and I managed to get away.

Some more drinks (and more avoiding) later, I was dancing my ass off. I turn around to see the Lawyer standing alone on one of the platforms. I talk to him for a while. When he kept leaning in, I thought I was talking too low. Then it occurred to me what he was trying to do so I kissed him.

It was as we made out on the stairs, I saw something approaching. I hoped it wasn't what I thought. Of course, a tap on my shoulder told me otherwise.

John told me he was heading home...alone. I told him that I'm sure he'll find someone before he got to the door since he's John (meaning he has the rep for being good in bed). Meanwhile, the Lawyer attempted to get my attention by licking my ear. He's winning this invisible competition between the two. Then John got into my other ear.

"Call me later," he whispered.

As he left, I was confused.

Why?

I shook it away. He was probably just doing that to do that...confuse me. He saw me with a hot guy and it bugged him.

It only lasted a weekend, but I have to say...fun weekend.

THE DANCE

Another night out. New guy. It was the first night out as a couple. It was an understandable awkward situation.

He was on the other side of the bar. John saw the newly grown beard. I left the room before he could say anything. So far...with anyone I attempted something with...he had something cutting to say. Usually it was betting it last a month. I didn't feel like hearing that tonight.

So all night it was a case of ignoring. If he came into a room, I left it. If he came back in, I left it. If I had to be in the same room, I ignored him.

Eventually, I had to leave however. I was at the bar with my guy. John was staked out near the door. there's only one entrance so I had to walk past him.

If I thought I could walk past him without him saying anything I would have been happy. Instead, I was angry. We're not dating. He was the one who was mad at me. I didn't get him talking at all.

I attempted it anyway. My friends and I are in a great mood. We clowned around as we head to the door. John doesn't seem to notice. In a few moments, I would be out the door and free.

"See you later, Diego!"

I thought "Damn!" I turned around, smiled, and ran and gave John a hug. It was easy to do since I was drunk.

And as I left for a second time, I knew I would hear about it later. I also wondered if I would get him out of my system completely.

Diego (and then there was one more...)


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