AN ARKANSAN IN CALIFORNIA
The farthest that I can remember back was when I was five. I had braids and my mother got a picture of me on a pony. I remember crying when I found out Optimus Prime died on TRANSFORMERS. I remembered sitting on a Greyhound bus with my mother, brothers, and sister. To my left was catcuses and dirt as the bus traveled through the Great American Desert. Little did I know that I was leaving what I knew in San Diego for the unknown in Arkansas.
Now almost 20 years later, I look out of the window of the Southwest Airline plane. The clouds lift as the plane starts to land. I see mountains. I'm in awe of the lake. I can even make out buildings. It was deja vu all over again. I travel from all I knew in Arkansas (three cities, many adventures, a few loves) to the now unknown in San Diego, California.
What awaits me?
THE WELCOMING
I got out of my sister's car. As my sister and her kids got out of hte car, I took a look around. There was a 24 hour taco shop across the street from it. Cars sped up and down the street. My nieces and nephew already told me about the nearby library and their school.
"I think I'm going to look around," I told my sister.
I closed the gate behind me. To my left was cars, a hill, and lights. To my right, there was a Pizza Hut and construction. I picked the left.
Fifteen minutes later, it was like Dorothy going over the rainbow. I was in the section of town called Hillcrest. It was the section where the gay community were.
And what a place it was!
The first thing that got my attention was a lesbian couple walking hand-in-hand. One whispered to the other . She kissed her on the cheek. My eyes widened. If this was Arkansas, the s might get looks, harassed, maybe even attacked. No one cared here.
The next thing that got my attention was a bookstore. I happen to walk by it. There was a sign up, advertising new club music. I went in hoping to find maybe some new techno music. I see the techno music, but it was all diva music. Then I see it. Gay o magazines. Gay maps. Gay books.
I was in a gay bookstore. Again, my eyes widened. You could barely find a bookstore with a gay section in Arkansas. Now here I was in a gay bookstore.
Best of all was the vibe. The gay people appeared proud of themselves. They looked happy. I do not see the loathing here that I always saw in Arkansas gays.
I think in that moment I realized that I could like it here in San Diego.
THE SETBACKS
I think of Syrus from REAL WORLD: BOSTON. When the roommates started laying rules on him, he looked at them as if they were crazy. Then he asked what was this? Prison?
I knew there was the possibilities that my time away from my sister's house would be limited. What I did not expect:
I sit in a coffeehouse, pen flowing due to a good venti caramel latte and story flow. All of a sudden, some hip-hop song I don't know vibrates from my pant pocket. It's my sister, seeing where I'm at, whom I'm with, and when I would be home. The venues changed (job interview, the mall, the club), but the message remained the same. I need to be at the house for babysitting if possible.
The least favorite phrase I heard?
'We did have openings, but we are full right now' followed by another place hiring that I have no way of getting to since no bus went out that way.
That phrase pretty much summed up my job searching so far in San Diego. The jobs appeared to go fast and furious. They also were not going to me.
I went around San Diego. Everywhere there appeared to be HELP WANTED signs. I looked at them and wondered how true that statement was.
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
So how was I going to enjoy this wonderful city if A) I was always going to be expected to babysit and thus not go out and B) not have any money because I have no job.
The answer to B?
I have Gina Torres to thank for that.
Gina Torres is a fairly successful actress in genre television. She usually played tough-ass women. In 'Parity,' the third episode of ALIAS's first season, she played this super-spy so bad she had her own theme song. As the music played Gina was this combination of confidence and determination. I loved it.
I loved it so much that the very next day the theme song went with me. From 11am to 5pm (and from downtown, up the street, and everywhere in-between), I went on my job search with a blind determination I did not have before . I was getting a job THAT DAY. The theme song gave me the confidence.
And by 5pm, I had an interview. A few days later, I had a job. To add to that, I also got another offer for seasonal help.
It didn't just rain. It poured.
THE TRANSITION
As for the answer to A?
"What?" I asked.
"Do you know how many times you've said ' ?'" Ken asked.
I did not realize I had said the F-word so many times. I did realize I guess my environment was blending into me. That meant I could get use to this. If I could get used to this, I know I would create a life for myself. It would take time. The patience I had in Little Rock just had to fly here, too.
And so it...along with the answer to A...begins...
Diego
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