Missed Opportunities
I remember back in high school there was an interesting phoemenon.
Each year, I would have a history class and my only competition for the
highest grade in the class...was a football player. Yeah, I was being
stereotypical. I guess stereotypes can be more influential then I
thought they could be.
Anyway, in 11th grade I had American History and had to beat out
this football player RJ. How close was our grades? I beat him out by
a half-point to get the highest grade (99 1/2).
RJ and I weren't enemies, but we just did good on tests and
homework. I started to find him attractive. This was back when I was
trying to deal with my orientation. I was so torn over my feelings
(how I was suppose to be vs how I was). One day, I could not control
myself. RJ came into class in a pair of shorts and he had really good
legs. He was a fair distance from my seat so I did not think I would
be caught. I stared at his legs. Eventually I looked up from his
legs to find that RJ was looking right at me. I looked down in shock,
fear, and shame. He never mentioned the incident though so I was
safe.
Later on that year, he gave me a ride home. He was going in the
same direction so it was not a problem. In the process, we found out
a lot about each other EXCEPT what we wanted to know: Were we
interested in each other? I was still scared of my feelings so I did
not do anything, but let RJ drive me home. My missed opportunity
eventually found a "best friend" later on and I do not know how they
turned out.
Recently, a friend talked to me about another opportunity that I
feel/felt had pass me by. Anyone who read my first few columns know
about Matt, the first and only(it seems) guy that I've been completely
in love with.
Diego
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