So, now that you asked...
So, where shall I begin? I was born to an Germanic cult. My parents split at the age of four years old, and from then on things went downhill. Then uphill, then downhill, then uphill, and I would say that now things are rolling downhill faster than a buttered up fat man in a penguin suit. So, first of all, I woke up today only to have a dog pee allll over my toes. It THEN went to the hydrant, but not to pee. The cops arrested Fruffy when they realized that he was humping public property... So, I had to go down to the station. Yah, yah, you know. So on the way down, I noticed that my arms and legs started to feel very funny, so I decided to drop in and pay a visit to my doctor. Unfortunately, he diagnosed me with leprosy... but that isn
t really all that bad! I mean, think about it... I finally lost my third boob. So, excited as I was, I decided to pay a visit to my boyfriend, or actually, make that EX boyfriend, the one with his head up his @$$... literally... (See photo.) Just as I was on my way over, I met up with a nice man who genuinely seemed to want to help me with my problems. He introduced himself as Jerry Springer. I am supposed to go over to his studio (?) tomorrow... so we'll see. I will post the latest then, so check back to see the condition of my leprosy and what happens on the Jerry Springer show... byebye for now.