Gods he makes me feel so beautiful. When I saw him tonight I was all casual just a stupid t-shirt, and a pair of baggy jeans (that used to fit me before I lost alot of weight). He told me that I looked beautiful. I think he's biased, he knows me on the inside so that's what he sees, therefore I am beautiful to him.

We went out to check the garden center because the alarm was going off (which meant the doors had been opened). We saw that the greenhouse doors were open. So naturally we checked to make sure that no one was out there. Now, it was not my intention to get lovin' from him tonight, I just wanted to see him. I knew it would make his night, and he's been having nothing but bad nights lately, so I wanted to make at least one night better for him. Anyway, we got into the greenhouse and got one door shut. as we we walk to the other side he starts rubbing my shoulders. Which is nice cause I never get shoulder rubs. We get that door shut and he turns around and hugs me. Well first off I'm not in a very "sexy" mood being as it is shark week so I don't want it to go too far today. So I pull away a little. He kisses me. No biggie. But here's what really makes my heart skip. I don't know why, but it did. As we walk back to the other side he grabs my hand and holds it. Boys don't hold hands. He stops me about half way back to the other side of the greenhouse and pulls me into another hug. This time he pulls away, brushes my (now wet and frizzy) hair out of my face with both hands and pulls my face closer so he can kiss me. So soft, and sweet. Like you see in a romantic movie. He holds on like he doesn't want to let go (not that I want him to). I ask him what that was for. He said "Because I miss you." He makes me feel like a little school girl. *grins* Anyway, we finish our walk to the other door of the greenhouse, when we get there he says "one more before we have to say good-bye for the night." And this time he really kisses me. When we are done he doesn't pull away completely. He has his arms wrapped around me on the small of my back just slightly under the waist of my jeans. He puts forehead on mine so our noses are touching. He says. "I know we've been fighting alot lately, but I want you to know that I love you more than you will ever comprehend." I almost cried, how could I ever doubt him?!?!?! I just put my head on his chest and hugged him. He put his hand on the back of my head and just stroked my hair and rested his head on the top of mine. (He's considerably taller than I) We stay like this for a while (it seems like 10 mins, but is probably only around 3). Then we head back inside.

When we get back inside he goes upstairs to check his mail and tells me to come along. So like the good obedient puppy I am with him I follow him up the stairs into the "mail room." He gets his mail and bitches about it *laughs* and we head back down the stairs. As we're going down the stairs he grabs my hand again, and turns around and just looks at me and smiles, leans in and kisses me real quick. "I love you." (note that this is twice he's said it). I smile and tell him that I love him too. He gets a call and has to unload a truck. But not before we stop and sit for a few in the pharmacy waiting area. (another semi-private spot for us to talk, but not so private that we can get into trouble). He tells me this horrible joke.

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench and this guy comes up and flashes them. Just throws open his coat. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady has a stroke the third lady...well she couldn't reach"

*groans* Bad though it is it makes me smile. We talk for a few more minutes and then we begin to walk so he can go unload his truck and I can find my brother so I can go home. He hugs me once more and says "You've made my night tonight. This was a nice surprise. I love you." (that's 3 times in one night) We part ways after I tell him I love him too and I find my brother to drive home. No wonder I'm so conflicted...

Now here's where it gets interesting. He has made me cry before, therefore my brother has a general distaste for him..."He made my favorite sister cry." But on the drive home I'm telling him about what he said in the greenhouse and Bro says "He obviously *does* love you. I can see that when he first sees you. I'm going to call him and tell him this 'My sister loves you. More than I think you know, and you obviously love her. You make each other happy. Whenever she talks about you she just glows. And right now, as much as you two love each other the only thing keeping you apart is yourselves. Not your wife, not her husband, but YOU.. both of you. You are both comfortable where you are at, and are scared to change it. It's obvious to even ME that you two belong together."

Man I hope he doesn't really call. I don't want him to think that I put him up to it. It was his Idea. I think he is just sick of seeing me so unhappy. He doesn't like Bill all that much. He told me tonight that he wants me to move in with him when he get's his apt in the village (Yellow Springs) 2 bed/2 bath $500/mo. split between the two I could afford it. But I haven't completely decided to leave yet. After the shit **** pulled at work the other night though, it's pushed me one step closer.