appreciation
so i recently decided that i don't want to make food for anyone anymore...at least not just as random acts of kindness
besides anthony, pierre, & gareth everyone else is either unappreciative or indifferent
a few examples...
i knew it was bad when a friend (more than one time) the first thing he/she would ask if i asked him/her if he/she wanted something...he/she would say "is it any good?"
no...i'm giving you food cuz it's shitty...it tastes shitty & it looks like crap...that's why i'm trying to give it away...fuck you
on similar lines is the question: "ummm what kind?"
as if this were the deciding factor...& you'd only want it if it was a particular kind you wanted
last week...
a friend said he/she was eating my cookies merely because they were lazy & it was the only thing accessible as if they weren't actually good tasting but just cuz they were fucking convenient
last week as well...
i asked a friend if he/she wanted a certain food & then i found out he/she left it in the fridge of a mutual friend because he/she didn't want it...& of course i fucking found out....don't take if from me if you wanted want it....you don't realize how long it took me to make that egg custard tart so FUCK you...& just to let you know you completely missed out because it was so freaking good..oh yea & that mutual friend when i told him/her how rude it was said to me "get over it" FUCK YOU BOTH
& last last week...
a friend said to a mutual friend "omg you're such a good friend" because he gave this friend half of a cream cheese-d bagel...& i asked "how come i never get that when i give you food?" & he/she kinda just brushed it off & i said "fine then i won't give you any food anymore" & he/she said "that's not true...i know you..you like cooking too much" in my head i wanted to scream...."FUCK YOU"
the food i give you is made is love & really good ingredients...i take the time to make it good enough...& that's the thanks i get? a oh-i-know-i-will-get-some-no-matter-how-i-treat-you.... i don't need to make myself taken for granted....
i DON'T need that fucking shit
you guys deserve nothing from me if you are going to treat me that way
you guys have no idea how much money i spend on you guys to make you "feel special" with my food...
on christmas treats alone it was probably a couple hundred
i'm not going to knowingly give you crap food
& SO THIS ENDS HERE....
NOT A SINGLE PERSON WILL GET A SINGLE BITE OF FOOD OUT OF ME ANYMORE...(cept maybe christmas cuz i want to experiment)
& the irony of this all?
i do all this as extra...i do it to be nice...i do it so i can share with you all the wonders of food...& YOU GUYS/GALS are the reason WHY i am completely turned off from this....
so FUCK YOU ALL THAT HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO MY BITTERNESS & making it hard for me to be myself
because in the end....i am left to fend for myself in this cruel world
so i have made a few random things since the last update
key lime pie
it was rather creamy but it was also really addicting
overall, the ingredients added up to be pricey so i probably won't make again

spinach linguine with white clam sauce
i used champagne instead of white wine & it was very delish...
it was probably bad for me but the clams were yum
i sprinkled parmesan over the top & ate it all
oh yea it was kinda salty but i'm guess it's cuz i used more clam juice than it called for...whatever i could've always thinned it out w/ water
oh yea i guess i never talked about the lowfat choc chip cookies & chinese egg custard tarts i made...
the tarts were really good though i had tons of filling left over & it was overall, very time consuming

the cookies were incredibly addicting
& cakey...i love them...they will def take the place of normal ones for cravings they stay soft too!
i missed farmer's market this week cuz of commencement reception & i feel really really deprived..it's kinda strange