Mood:
some guy was wearing an excess of cologne on the bus today...
i sat in the back & it hit me suddenly
i subconsciously closed my eyes & breathed it in
my mouth slowly curled into a smile...
there's always been something about cologne to me...
it captures the essence of a man into a bottle...only the good things...
it is sprayed on & sent on it's way through the air to entice the senses of a potential mate...
the girl looks around with a gleam of wonder in her eye...she looks for the person from whom the smells are emitted & she smiles if not on her face, inside her mind...
as i sat on the bus, i thought of all the things cologne reminded me of...& then of all the memories in my mind that were smell-induced...& then of all the memories that were senses-induced in general...
cologne...
it reminded me of ken...
he had so many but for some reason every one seemed to jumble into one in my mind & they all reminded me of him...if you asked me to describe the smell i couldn't...i don't even remember the names...but the second i smelled it i'd just know..i think i've only smelt it twice since we're been apart...
i remember that on our first official date to bubba gump's he let me keep his sweater (his typical banana republic sweater) so i could sleep with it at night...it had his smell...his personal smell mixed with the cologne..it brought me so much comfort..it'd hug it like a teddy bear each night...then he gave me a bear that he dosed in his cologne that slowly replaced the sweater in my bed...i remember the last time i took out that bear he still had ken's smell even though it had been 6 months..i remember closing it quickly to make sure the smell would never leave the bear...but i'm sure it did...i was so sentimental in that way...
then i remember when i dated around & everyone had their own smell...whether it be their body or their cologne but two moments that stand out in my mind are when harm & i were going on our first date...he was driving us to the rose garden & i smiled because his car smelled like cologne..i teased him & said did you put on cologne for me? & he said what? you can smell it? sorry! i only put on a little bit! & i said no no it smells good. i like it...& the other...when yoshi was over & i could smell his shampoo..it was a distinct but not bad smelling...i remember the next day in math class i was thinking about the smell...& how for a moment i thought i smelt it again...
for dom...i remembered the familiar smells of his house...i remembered the ease it brought me..& how the same smell now brings me discomfort because it was once so comforting....i remember when he left his blanket here to curl up in when i was cold..it smelt like him...
i remember this elementary school friend who actually goes to berk now so i will not mention the name of since we are no longer friends...i used to go to her house all the time...& i was so bothered by her families' personal smell...it's funny because i think most of my close friends have distinct smells but they are not dissonant to my own...they blend well together...perhaps it's something our bodies emit to attract people of similar personalities or inherent traits...
i remember how in freshmen year i really got addicted to incense...maybe it was the pyromaniac in me...but in a way it was the relaxation the smells brought me...it calmed me & cleared my mind of all things bad....& filled them w/ a fresh floral scent...:P
all my memories are almost as if i were still there...it's very strange...i can see things down to the detail & i can feel things i touched...
my best example of that though i've talked about it before is valentine's day of freshman year...the last time ken & i saw each other...i didn't know it was the last time so it's strange that i recall so clearly...i remember my hands under his jacket one hand around him in a hug & the other on the front of his body...with that hand i touched his sweater..the woven makeup of it i can still feel...i could smell him as my cheek leaned against him next to my hand...i closed my eyes & smiled & he hugged me back...
it's weird cuz i've had a similar conversation with both erick & chanda semi-recently...
we talked about how we couldn't imagine not having one of our senses which resulted in our listing the senses which led to our deciding that taste was the lamest sense...
both chanda & i said...if god were to ask us what sense he could take from us we'd say just take taste....but let's hope we never get into that situation in the first place...
& i remember in erick's conversation i said after we listed all five senses..are there ppl without the sense of touch & he mocked me as he said "if you didn't have touch you'd walk around & suddenly ask yourself 'do i have pants on today?' look down & think 'oh yea i do'"...to which i of course answered "shuddup"...


