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C is for...candor
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006
in a world of their own
once to start off my day as a passed a bus stop & once to end the night through a window at a restaurant

i saw a couple kissing so passionately that they seemed to be in a world of their own...they were just into each other & that's all they seemed to need...

& rather than being disgusted...i smiled...



only for me to remember (it won't make sense to anyone else):
why are you avoiding my hugs
...because i was avoiding this

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:39 PM PDT
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Friday, 14 April 2006
nerdy, prof, & random quotes.....& adrenaline
today in thermodynamics class...(in russian accent)

prof: you need to email me questions otherwise i will talk about whatever i want to in review...i might talk about this movie i saw recently....*continues on quietly to himself*


student: can we use a calculator?
prof: you have matlab! ok ok! fine! you can use a calculator...any other requests? like cancel the final?
student: group final?
prof: how about we just be like the rest of campus & sit in a circle & talk about how we feel about thermodynamics & then based on your id i will give you the appropriate refreshment...
*students cheer*
in case you just woke up...that's not really happening...that's an ideal school
student: or a reverse school


prof: you need to email her if you are using a laptop! or i can pretend we're in russia & FORCE you to do it



in physics class...

prof: i will try not to juggle the eraser like i did last time. I had chalk all over me the rest of the day & no one told me until i went home, but it's ok. i can live w/ that. there are worse stains i could have on me than chalk...


(overheard)
student before class: the limit of Ted coming to class goes to 0


(farzad overhead some people w/ a heavy indian accents)
guy: yea [it] happened...
girl: i told you it would happen with probability of 1!




at subway getting dinner...
(doug & alex were getting the 2 for $7.99 footlong sandwich deal)
lady at counter about the ring doug up as alex is still getting his sandwich made & she tells him a price....
doug: i'm with him *points at alex*
*lady makes a weird face & looks at doug & then at alex*
doug (without realizing her face): we're getting 2 for $7.99
*lady goes back to normal*



..............

my palms have been sweaty all day..not from nervousness or the heat...but there has been adrenaline pumping through my body all day

i can't even explain the feeling of having one of my images come true

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 9:13 PM PDT
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Tuesday, 28 March 2006
enigma
(don't worry i'm still perfectly happy as my previous entry indicated, but some random thing sparked this question about myself)

why in this world and with people that consistently disappoint me & remind me that i can only rely on myself for my own happiness and success do i stay so ridiculously selfless?


my only possible solution would be hope...hope that something will change...or even worse that i will make a difference to cause that change

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:52 PM PST
Updated: Tuesday, 28 March 2006 11:56 PM PST
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Monday, 27 March 2006
LEGO lie detector
LEGO!

it's like robby stripped!

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 3:27 PM PST
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Sunday, 26 March 2006
the world is our oyster
procrastinating...i decided to "clean" my computer

i came across a few personal notes i wrote for myself

i had forgotten how i felt then

the funny thing is i feel like i've grown in the past year, but after reading those entries i realized that i was still the same person wondering how things would be different if a certain something happened (it was the same certain thing)

i'm not saying my past year hasn't changed me...i've have great experiences, met fun people, and had exciting adventures

but i think i've reached a certain limit to my maturity

i know that sounds weird & almost ironically immature

but although i could see things around me changing & changing me i couldn't see myself being anymore mature than i am now

of course at some point i will stop caring about what everyone around me thinks of me

but even that...i've eliminated a lot of that from my life already...i used to cling on everyone's every word & every look & every reaction...& i simply don't care like i used to

i've also come to realize that i'm very independent & that, no offense, but i don't truly need anyone in my life to be happy

i know my close friends are scoffing at that one cuz i seem to get so "pissed off" when people don't treat me right or whatever, but i guess that can be played both ways...i used to put up with that behavior & now i just don't...& that if those people weren't in my life i wouldn't be anything less than who i am now

& as one of my dreams told me & i have realized in the past few years "happiness is relative"

in those notes to myself there were a few sentences that struck me strongly (& i will put it here even though i sound bitchy):

i also realized that i am deep

sometimes i think...no i'm not i'm just about as complicated as everyone else

but after [person name's] email i realized i am

i've gone through so many phases of self improvement

& i don't think most people think about being a better person as much as i do



& here is the diplomatic part so you don't misunderstand...

i'm not saying that i've reached perfection or anything of that sort

but i'm simply saying that i've reached a point in my life that i'm really happy with how i am

with my goals, motivations, and joys in life

& i'm very glad that i'm mature enough to not let the little things bother me

& as i said before...for once in my life i am free from everyone & i am myself & i can fly in whatever direction i want & however i want

on friday, chanda said "the world is our oyster" & i said "i never got that saying" & she said "yea i don't either" & then i pulled a corny definition on her but i rather like it "maybe it's because you can take in all little sands of everyday life & with it you can make a pearl"

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 12:48 PM PST
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Saturday, 25 March 2006
random chris quote
hung out with chris dong today

things we did:
-bakesale betty's
-we went to east bay restaurant supply..it's very cool..all these huge things for industrial use i felt even smaller cuz everything was for giants
-home for restaurant brainstorming
-half price books & bought "food smarts" a food trivia game
-tried some gelato milano & said we'd be back after dinner
-epicurious garden w/ chanda
-gelato milano w/ chanda where we met one of her old friend's gf
-chatted it up in the apt & played food smarts

quote for the night:
chanda: you improv people are probably so good at lying!
chris dong: for all you know i could be chris wong!

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:41 PM PST
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Thursday, 23 March 2006
old tsunami quote
farzad to friend: you have like the worst timing ever! it'll be like middle of a tsunami..."hi!!! so whatcha doing?"

.....

so i realized that i really am in love with the image & so nothing has changed & i'm actually pretty happy about it (& in chanda's tone "i GUESS i know myself really well")

& so for once in a long time i am free & it feels great

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:07 PM PST
Updated: Thursday, 23 March 2006 11:11 PM PST
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Monday, 20 March 2006
seafood disability quotes
doug: i don't know if i should get the (something) fish sandwich or the salmon
erick(who doesn't eat any seafood): oooh get the salmon!
*we all look at him to see if he was being sarcastic*
erick: what! just cuz i don't eat seafood doesn't mean it doesn't sound good! *in distress* i mean i wish i did eat it because then i could eat everything! & i could go to any restaurant i wanted!
me: geez you make is sound like a disability



doug to erick: want to try some salmon?
erick: ok i will pick some w/ my clean fork & smell it & if i don't want it i will give it back to you
*smells it*
erick: i don't want it
*hands it to doug but doug just eats it off the fork & it looks like erick is feeding him*
*doug pretends to be girly & bats his eyes & gets all shy & smiley*
*erick & i laugh*
prashant: what'd he do!
*doug repeats towards prashant*
prashant: ok now that i've seen it, i don't want to see it ever again...


....

& i apologize to di & chanda for my more & more frequent ramblings:)

....

& this week i will have to be courageous to see if things will be forever imaginary or a reality

& for the sake of my sanity i will assume the first

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 8:40 PM PST
Updated: Monday, 20 March 2006 8:53 PM PST
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Tuesday, 14 March 2006
new quotes!
in physics class (the prof already warned us he is easily distracted)
*facing board & writing & lecturing*
1st time:
*crinkling of chips bag*
(without turning around & interrupting himself)
"& someone's eating chips & it's making me hungry because i didn't eat lunch*
(continues w/ lecture having never turned around)

2nd time:
*cell phone ringing*
(w/o turning again & interrupting his derivation)
"& that person really needs to get a less boring ringtone"
(continues)



in physics discussion
gsi: so when magnets were first discovered they were called "kissing stones" because they thought each stone was attracted to a particular other stone, but then they found out it was a lot more promiscuous than that....



erick & doug's apt when i wasn't there
erick (to alex): so why were you drinking beer while we were here doing our 180!?
jon: cuz it's alex?



erick got a new car but only got the owner's manual & keys so far...
*holding the key & shaking it*
erick: it feels so useless! i just want to stick it in something. i just want to stick it in something & turn it on!!
me: we're talking cars now here, right?
erick: well i guess both...[jk]



last semester in 190D
one day this girl who will remain unnamed was sitting in front of us & her thong was showing & it said "sexy" in beads & gareth put his planner standing up in front of his view to not get distracted
gareth: at the APM dinner, i told ramteen & [the girl] about it & ramteen said "wow i didn't realize so much stuff happened in my class that i didn't see"


from studying:
Pa-hoe-hoe! Pa-hey-hey!
Playa lake
A-a!



......

i've come to realize that i'm more in love with the image than the reality of that image
& if it never became a reality i would be more sad that the image was broken than over the actual occurrence

but that's not to say i don't care about the image becoming a reality...it would be a happy surprise

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:10 PM PST
Updated: Tuesday, 14 March 2006 11:10 PM PST
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Thursday, 9 March 2006
bday (forgot to talk about)
this year's was the best bday i've had in a long time

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 10:20 PM PST
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