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C is for...candor
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Tuesday, 1 March 2005
something about my eyes
(i have soo much stuff to do so naturally on i'm here procrastinating...but i just want a quick release of emotion)
yea i know i know i've talked about this subject before but i just had a random tidbit i wanted to say

so i had always said there was something about my eyes that gave me away & that there was a luring affect...i don't mean in a oh that person is gonna fall in love with me but i can sense a feeling of intrigue if i happen to look straight into a person's eyes...i'm sure a lot of other people have that kind of power too...

& this is definitely not to say that i have pretty eyes hahahha....cuz that's just not really true...i can only say that they have a certain depth to them...

i won't repeat the things that have been said about my eyes or whatever...hahah that sounds so weird but my random tidbit was this...

i remember freshman year of high school i stared straight into someone's eyes for the very first time...kinda by accident but sorta being experimental..it wasn't even a close friend it was just an acquaintance...& i completely flipped out...ok not like psycho style but i got really scared...i felt like he could see the depths of my soul & see all my imperfections & all my deepest secrets....i felt like my eyes give it all away...i almost made an effort to never stare into someone's eyes like that...i never wanted to feel that vulnerable again...

but since then my courage regarding this has gradually changed....i never realized that til today...i know i make eye contact a lot more...& now when i do...i don't get scared i sort of smile at least inside my mind but i feel like for that second we're in sync with each other....i notice when i was with my ex's i revelled in the moment when we looked into each others eyes cuz for some reason nothing needs to be said & yet everything is said...but i have found this eye contact thing to be working incredibly well when i do the whole internship thing...not that i've been having success in that area beeeehhh but yea i can see that they appreciate it when i look at them with interest & intrigue as they talk...the sad thing is i'm pretty sure i'm thinking how to psychologically win them over that everything they say goes one in ear & out the other hahhaha but anyways...

today there was this sketchy info session dealio & i didn't even say intelligent things but i made eye contact the entire time...& i'm guessing that gave off sincerity even though i know she was full of crap anyways...i think that aspect of my interaction with her caused her to think i was fit to work with them...*shrug*

anyways....i'm so freaking screwd i have hw & reading & case study due tomorrow i think our group might have forgotten a part & they all never replied to my email regarding it so i might just have to take it into my own hands & do it

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 8:53 PM PST
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