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C is for...candor
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Saturday, 26 February 2005
FUCK
ok so my goal of not swearing is shot cuz all i want to say is FUCK....FUCK you all

there is something called consideration & there is no such thing as "oh i just forgot"

you CANNOT treat people like this

& i don't know if it's me that makes them treat me this way & if they do this to everyone but i just want to fucking kill them all....i'm so pissed off i can't even explain it in words...

i know this has happened to me numerous times & each time it pisses me off when people make plans with me & they just simply forget or don't call or don't even bother to call to cancel....

i think every person in my life has done this to me...every so called friend....EVERY ONE....

& i just want to scream..."i'm not fucking at your disposal...i'm not just there to hang out if you have nothing better to do....i'm your so called friend & i don't deserve this...it's fucking common courtesy that should never have to boil down to me being this freaking angry at you to understand how rude you are acting...& even then i'm sure a month from now the same damn thing will happen.... i have no idea why i put up with you fucking shitheads"

but you know what....maybe it's the people i am attracted to...not romantically but even as friends i find shitheads like that that use me & just don't care...

cuz every one of my ex's were ALL like that....

maybe not entirely during our relationship & obviously not when they are pursuing me but definitely after the relationship when we're sup'd to be "friends"

gawd & i just wrote something about how people in the past affect me negatively...

PROOF! PROOF right here...

things they do DO phase me...& they DO piss me off & they make me sometimes completely unreasonable...

2 people in one day....that's just great...

there's something about looking forward to something all week or even day & then come to realize they simply forgot about it or cancelled without ever telling you...giving you even more time to think about how pissed you are at them & how rude that was....& the disappointment

it's the disappointment that hits you like a bullet & the pang just makes you want to cry

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 5:44 PM PST
Updated: Saturday, 26 February 2005 5:46 PM PST
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