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C is for...candor
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Friday, 11 February 2005
faze
Mood:  chillin'
so it's happened twice in the past two weeks...

realization that certain things just won't happen

the first time i was a bit down...but the second time i was surprisingly calm & not fazed at all

i knew i should be sad

but i just wasn't

i'm not complaining...i'm actually proud of myself

i had invested about 6 months of my life for this result...

i guess in my mind i was thinking one of two things

well i guess i could still happen...who's to say...

& the other (which seems to be the way i feel most of the time recently) is that if it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be...& i KNOW it's not me...it just didn't happen...so what? that's no reason to define myself in these terms...it didn't even occur to me that maybe it was a weakness of mine....so that's good

i don't know if this has anything to do with having seen "serendipity" basically that everything that happens has a meaning and a reason...

but i just figure if i didn't get the result i wanted i wasn't meant to have it...& in this case...if the result didn't happen i wouldn't be happy if it was forced or a favor to me by any means...

i'm glad this has been my mentality since i'm internship searching...i don't want to constantly be down

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 3:40 PM PST
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