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C is for...candor
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Monday, 29 August 2005
random tidbits
the school year has started & i'm already in over my head

i'm taking a technical writing class & 4 ieor classes & pe & then ta'ing that cooking decal...being a part of iie & maybe/hopefully starting that darn club i want to & during all that i have to somehow find a job for my life after school...gawd i'm so screwd

anyways

sat was chanda's bday. we had dinner at blue nile & drinks at blake's. we tried each other's drinks & everything was yummy. frozen mudslide, long island ice tea, gin & tonic, adios mf'er, chambord & cran, appletini, sex on the beach.

on a sort of random but not note

there is one thing that you can do that will make me lose complete respect for you & you can NEVER earn it back again with this one action.

i know it sounds harsh but there are a small handful of people that have ever fallen into this category so don't worry it's probably not you.

there are some people that treat people that they think are "uncool" or are deemed by peers as "uncool" badly.

eg, there was a boy at our school that was very introverted & very smart but he was "different" he was just very not sociable but there was nothing wrong with him he just didn't have many friends & people always made fun of him. it didn't help that i think his family enforced it because his brother was the complete opposite of him. certain people at our school would be mean to him not because he did anything but simply because they probably thought it'd be cool to be rude/mean to the "uncool"

in my own way of being protective of those that are weaker i completely lost any ounce of respect for that person.

are you not strong enough to know the difference between right & wrong? to not have to beat up one someone "weaker" to appear cool.

the thing is the rudeness was very subtle. but i know it probably hurt his self esteem over time.

i know this is completely random but i saw someone recently that fell into this category & that person has not changed at all & i am reminded of how much i hate people of that kind

it's strange because for someone having such low self esteem & having put up with verbal abuse all my life i am such a strong believer in protecting others from it....
that's when i realize even though i have changed i have not fully changed...i've only taken what i used to apply to others & applying it to myself
i use to want to save everyone else
& now i am finally trying to save myself

it's really bad since i've been spending more time not alone i've really lost touch w/ myself...i'm sure the start of school will change that

here are some random pics:

chanda being sung to by creepy mexican guys at blake's that took over 5 pics of us cuz i guess they thought the girls were really hot





us being dorks!





the cutest rhino alive



Posted by blog/c_is_for at 11:57 PM PDT
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