so after 2 finals today my brain hurt...literally & it felt fried
i called chanda afterwards & we went to walgreens, target, office depot, & safeway...
walgreens i read trashy magazines as i waited for chander & at target i bought a bunch of stuff to pamper myself...bath fizzy things, soem knitting stuff, those izze soda things i've always been curious about, & liquid soap....
safeway i bought a lot of fatty foods....but gawd brie is so good how can anyone resist! umm ok i know i'm being really boring but i can't help it...
the events of this night made me really upset
i don't know if there is something physically wrong with me....or why it seems that everytime i am in public or around other people our relationship changes...
i know i set myself up for disappointment because i expect something to happen & nothing ever does & i just get upset but in reality i am upset over something that never was really there
& i find myself on the verge of hating all females...& i guess that makes me a female...but the second they do something i'm onto them & i hate them for it...i find every reason i can to hate them....oh they're so slutty...oh they think they have a nice body but they don't....ok their face is NOT even cute...that typical bitchy girl stuff course i keep it contained in my head...
i really don't know why i do this to myself...
i'm so happy with myself until someone else steps into the picture & then my head goes haywire & it can't handle things the way they normally can...but i guess that's the difference of the heart & the mind....
& that's why my heart always wins in those situations because my mind can no longer make sense of the situation...
& i don't know why i always want to give people the benefit of the doubt & i want to find things wrong around people so i can continue to idolize them
i guess there is always difficulties in finding fault in things/ones you love...(eg, for some people, themselves)
i hate feeling so vulnerable
i suppose i will take this as a no
on another note i found out a friend is a carrier of hepatitis b because of her mom & is "very contagious" & i feel so horrible because she doesn't cry & she was bawling...
i don't have much to say on the subject cept that it made me feel that much worse about today
gawd i feel so sad
like an angry or hurt little ball
i need to rid myself of this negativity
sooo...i talked a lot to arta tonight & he's so cool & funny....he said he's really interested in helping me out in starting my club so that will be fun...i will definitely do some research in the next few weeks & get a head start...
i also....don't laugh! wrote a list of the lists i need to make! places i want to eat in berkeley before i leave...etc...
& although i have nothing formally booked my summer is rather packed with stuff i want to do & i think i will be a lot better at accomplishing these things this summer since i'll be staying up here & i won't watse my day away watching tv...berkeley makes me a lot more motivated
oh yea last night studying for 165...
after anthony left i checked my mail & got these three emails & i remember why i love my ieor friend so much:
from jon
He's said we've needed to know that for every test so far, but we haven't yet. The equation is that for a significance level alpha, which we want to reject with probability 1 - beta, we need n samples,
where:
n = [((z_alpha/2 + z_beta)^2)sigma^2] / [(u_1 - u_0)^2]
_ for subscript, ^ for superscript, z for standard normal, u_1 for the actual mean, u_0 for the mean we're testing for in the null hypothesis
He could have been talking about something totally different, as I did miss the review session. And like a complete moron, I just realized that this is all on page 299. But I typed it up so I'm sending it out anyway!
from jamie
This is an official announcement.... 165 is stealing my life force
from gareth
I am turning in. There is no way I can possibly understand how to not reject the null hypothesis that opposes our intution because the p-value = Probability(TS>x)less than .03 and .03 less than significant alpha. I want to cry. People are taking shots while listening to my favorite genre in the room next door. There's some hot girl wandering the halls with her parents. It feels like one of those movies.... sigh!
& the quote for tonight:
a drunk gareth: are you lesbian?
me: NO!
gareth: prove it!!
arta: i think i'm going home now, do you want to go now too?
me: yes, i think this is an opportune time to leave
Posted by blog/c_is_for
at 1:38 AM PDT
Updated: Friday, 3 June 2005 2:47 PM PDT
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Updated: Friday, 3 June 2005 2:47 PM PDT
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