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C is for...candor
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Tuesday, 17 May 2005
let's take a break & explore our options
this is a completely random entry & not related to my life at all but i was sitting there "studying" & i felt like talking about this

several of my friends have taken this route

this

"let's take a break for a while, see other people (explore other options), & then we can decide if we want to get back together"

mode

& i don't think i've heard a single happy story

see...when you do that you're saying to the person
"umm well i'm gonna go out there see if i can do better than you or see if our relationship really is good compared to others i can have & i'll get back to you on my decision"

the thing is...if a relationship is working..this mode should never come up

if you're happy with the relationship...you wouldn't question it

it's almost like call waiting...i'll put you on hold, talk to the person on the other line & if they have more interesting things to say, i'm gonna hang up on you/never switch back & if not, i'll end that & come back...

in a working relationship there should never even be that desire to want to know if you can "do better" or what other relationships you may have would be like...

you should feel so lucky to have each other that you know it's right

& granted i know life is not perfect & relationships are not like the ones out of fairytales...trust me i know first hand how bad it can be

but...i think if there is any doubt...then this relationship should not exist

don't be there for pity or sympathy or for fear that you can't find someone better/being alone...don't just be there for the sake of being there

no one wants that in the end

how unfulfilling is a relationship that you know will be contained in a box & never become anything more than what it currently is

if you're mature enough you'd know to leave this so called relationship out of it & just be friends

nothing good can ever come of this "mode"

i've seen it where the person suggesting it ends up feeling really hurt because the other person kept actively dating & being physical with other people & my friend was not...expecting them to just get back together...they are now back together but things will never be the same...there's often bitterness

i've seen it where they're both just unhappy & they end up getting back together anyways

& i'm sure there are many a times when one of them wants to be together again & the other does not


it's just a stupid thing to put this so called relationship through

but i guess if the mode ever came up in the first place there is already something faulty there & maybe it was supposed to end anyways...

Posted by blog/c_is_for at 10:10 PM PDT
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